QUOTE CHAT : Six

Its hard to let go of the wheel at times when dealing with life - the status quo is to want what you want and have it right now in this moment. Sometimes we fail to realize that maybe now isn't the right time but it doesn't mean its never going to happen. Maybe its with a certain time we learn such lessons and gain such knowledge to help better us for when it actually does happen. However I will completely agree WAITING BLOWS.

Why life has to be seen as a two sided coin I will know know but I am positive the flip of life goes hand in hand. You can't without a doubt have one without the other. Its impossible. The balance of life requires you to have both sides in order for it to be maintained simple as that. You must know sorrow to know the value of happiness. You must know failure to know the value of success. You must know death to know the value of life. You know know tears to know the value of laughter. You must know suffering to know the value of overcoming it. It all goes hand in hand.

I think life is full of enough things that can be or will be robbing us of peace. Maybe with age you just don't see the point in holding onto things that find us being robbed of such peace within ourselves because we are too hard headed to forgive and move on or let go. I have never seen the point in staying mad. Prolly because I can't stand not being at peace with myself for a long extent of time when I do have the choice of being at such a state. Now if I can learn how to think in that same frame of mind when forgiving myself - now that would be a huge step in the right direction.

There are times when I wonder who in the world ever thought I was possibly ever strong enough. Or the thought will run across my mind you do realize I am human and not superwoman right - you aren't getting me mixed with with the girl in the red cape are you??? I know I can endure because I have endured but sometimes I wish someone somewhere didn't think I was capable of so much from time to time.

Pictures are not always what you think. Not everything lies on the surface for the eyes to see.  Often the wounds and hurt lie deep under neath hidden from the naked eye. Don't assume. Don't judge. Don't think you know the whole story. Don't think someone has it better or the grass is greenier. Be gentle with others for you have no idea what battles they are fighiting or have fought. 

Why does it take such things to know such things? And better yet why can't we remember such things at all times?  Why do we forget or take such things for granted until life's lessons makes us fully aware of them all over again?

We are not beings made of metal and stone we are of flesh and blood which means we feel. I am learning to control this and I have found its not an easy process esp when it invloves certain people in life. I am learning to let go which is also proven to be quite difficult as well but remains truth is the fact that I am still here. Still breathing. Still kicking. Still alive. Which means I am finding a way of carrying on. My goal thou is to not let others have the power over my inner peace - I am not there. But I am working towards it.

If one thing I am certain of is that I never take the path more traveled. Sometimes I wonder thou if it wouldn't be a bad idea from time to time todo such. Since not only do I pick the path thats less traveled the thought crosses my mind that maybe its not even a path at all - that i am in fact the one who is cutting the first tracks. Its no wonder why I arrive late to things - I will find myself looking down a well lit paved maintained road where you can see for miles and mile and then turn my head and be drawn towards the path that is thickly covered in trees dark as night and you lose your vision of what lies behind after a few feet and find myself saying awe I think I will go that way. Its a struggle - its never easy - I sometimes want to turn around - it can be a complete challenge of hard climbing and difficult obstacles to overcome but I will admit such paths have taken me places I never dreamed of being and I have found myself in places that have made it all worth it. I have never been anything but bored on paths that have been worn completely in by 1000's and thou I wish at times this wasn't the case - i realize the blessings and the gift it is to go your own way - even when you have no iead where you might end up or just how long it will take you to get there. Its worth it.

QUOTE CHAT : Five

There are some people that can't be positive they must see the glass half empty. I am the opposite. I see the glass always half full. And as much as I have the right to be angry at times - it usually doesn't last long - because I just don't have it in me to stay in such a state. Its simply not who I am - even thou at times I wish I could. I am someone who has empathy. For no matter what has happened or why someone did this or that I search for the understanding behind it. And even if I did nothing wrong I will be the one that says I am sorry - which I know is not a good trait to have at certain times. It may be looked as being weak but most of the time I just want to get pass things and move on - this also may fuel future fires but in the moment I would rather deal with empathy than anger. I strive to understand people. To see pass their choices - actions and words and search for the reasoning of why. I don't want to hold onto anger when I realize that so many of us do and say things in moments of anger that we don't mean or feel. I choose to search for understanding - whether that is wrong or right I will never know.

Time is funny like that - the moments can seem so real that we will never get pass them - but moments pass. What we think we will nver overcome or accept we reach a day that we realize we have. I have yet to learn how to and then accept this in the given moment of life.  Those moments that are intense and filled with every emotion you can think of - but in the end we get thru the moment which turns into a second to a minute to an hour then a day a week a month and then a year. I don't understand the process of how this all happens and maybe we aren't meant to. Maybe its just simply this...TIME is TRULY a HEALER. The key is to allowing time to do its work.

Think of all your best days...isn't it amazing to think of what is still yet to come after all that has happened thus far?  And sometimes why life is tough its good to keep this in mind - because this will happen.



Its hard not to get wrapped up in such a life. When society is all about work work work. And why so we can what buy buy buy? I don''t strive to make millions. In fact money and I have never mixed. Because mainly I just don't like the point of it - its all about making it - not having enough of it or saving it. I will be responsible but I don't want it to run my life or rule my life. I never want to find myself in a job I hate just because I make great money. I never want to spend all my time at work when I have so many things I want to do and places I want to go. 

I can be my best friend or my worse enemy. I know this all too well. I know without a doubt that I am hard on myself and when I mean hard on myself I mean really hard on myself. I am unsure if this will ever change. But I do know the power I hold with my mind. And I am learning how to use that in my favor with hopes that maybe I won't be so hard on myself when dealing with certain things or living life. There was always talk in school about learning to live with the kid you didn't get along with and finding a way to make it work... I missed the class lesson when that person at times was in fact yourself.

There will be times in our lives that will force us to bunker down and grasp the roots that hold us - we will be tested to the core of our being with changes - challenges.  Life presents such lessons in the form of storms thru loss - failure - suffering - struggle - sorrow - heartache/break - death and so much more. What I have come to find is that its a time that begins you holding onto what really matter what really counts. I am unsure why it takes such big time lessons to learn things and know things that should just be basic knowledge. Storms have a way of striping you leaving you bare with only the things that you truly need. Our roots remain firmly planted in the ground of who we are all the while the storm of life tries its best at us. Our only choice is to tighten the grip and hang on.

This statement is truer than true but sometimes its the hardest thing possible to stop re-reading. I know it must be done but given being in that moment its a hard thing to do.

There was a time that I use to think I had to be a certain way - have this or that in order to make my life look good.  But I have come to realize I am now on a journey and mission to create a life thats based around ME and what feels good on the inside to me - not based on what it looks like to everyone else.  I know by know that I am accepted and loved and cared about. What I am realizing is when I am at one with myself and balanced with myself that I am able to take that energy outside of myself and appy and give to those around me and too me that is what a good life looks like from the outside. Not one based on what kind of house I live in - the car I drive or the clothes I wear but one that is based on who I am and how I treat people and live my life.

People will try each and everyday to conform you to turn you into everyone else. People do this without even realizing it - for its so common. So many people think there is on'y one way of being normal. And that normal usually means going to college for 4.23 years graduating - getting the perfect job - getting married - having kids living this picture perfect life...then what happens when you realize it isn't picture perfect or at all the life you thought it was or should be. I am done judging people on ground of what normal is. Because the truth is there is no normal and therefore I have no intention of being tamed into such a state. Life is what YOU make of it not so and so or the 'THEY'... I am unsure why life has to go this way or that way - why we must be tamed in order to be accepted. Why our life needs to have this or that in order to be successful or marks as normal. I guess I have been confused because I never understood who got to mark or decide. Who are they any ways?  Nothing in my mind beat being a child in a field and just running...the same applies today a gal just running the fields of life with not a thougth in the world of ever being tamed.

How many of us sit not just in the passanager seat but the back seat as well in their own lives? Why are so many afraid of taking the power for themselves? I never want to be afraid of being the one in control of my life. I can't want to be anywhere else but in the front row.

I don't ever want to be defined by another nor do I want to define someone in the same breath. I wish to share my life with someone yes but only in a matter of sharing not defining. And in my case - I am able to do such or want such because of the fact that I do spend time alone and I am constantly getting to know myself and maintaining a relationship with myself. I fully realize it is I - that is the master - creator - and hold of my happiness and it can be shared and sparked by another but not solely found in another.

For years and years I never realized that people thought as such just because I held my tongue kept calm and showed kindness. It actually baffles me that people can have such thoughts. Just because one doens't cause a fuss raise their voice or treat people unkind doens't mean they don't care enough or it doens't matter to them. It is so so not how it goes.

QUOTE CHAT: Four

Why is it that so many of us stay in the same place - is it a matter of routine? Is it fear? Is it laziness? Is it comfort or safety? Is it just what we know and can truly rely on? Is it a matter of funds? Or out of responsibility? This world we live in and on is massive - filled with so many places so many people so many ways of life. When I was younger I thought in order to expose myself to the world around me I had to leave the world I was living in to find it. I have found that's not to be true - to be exposed to the world I simply need to leave my front door and venture out. I long to travel and experience all this world has to offer but I also know this world has much to offer just outside my door - I don't have to go far to find it - I just have to be open to it and have the frame of mind to see beyond. 

There have been many moments in my life where I wish I knew better - that my best choice was to make no choice at all - my best words to say was to speak no words at all - my best action was to make no action at all. I guess that's the thing about life it teaches you - even when you don't want to learn and esp. when you think you know better or more. I am growing to realize sometimes its best to not say or do anything until you have your ducks in a row - until you know for certain just what you want to say and do. 

It is in the journey where she will become strong.

It is in the journey where she will become strong.

It is in the journey where she will become strong.

It is in the journey where she will become strong.



Often this isn't realized or known right away. Its an after the fact sort of thing. But I do believe there is a reason for everything in this life.

Every single day you have a choice. Every single moment you are in control of your emotions. Sometimes its easy to be the one in power of such - sometimes its the hardest thing you think you could possibly do. But it still remains the same - you are in charge of how you feel. You and only you. Yes things events places and people play a role in that but only as much of a role as you allow. What are you choosing today??

Sometimes I catch myself day dreaming of meeting and knowing great common people - even with the amount I have already found and got to know I know there are so many more out there. Then i thought one day --- what about YOU. Are you the type of person someone is wanting and needing to meet? If you well werne't you...after meeting yourself would you like that person? Would you want to spend time with that person? Would you want to know that person? After removing yourself from your bias knowledge what would you say about that person? I don't strive to be perfect. That's impossible but I do strive to be someone even I would be grateful to have met and to know and maybe even call my friend.

If there is one thing I am certain of...its a journey worth taking.

Sometimes this is a a hard one - esp when you so badly want to fit. But if there is one thing I have grown to know and love is that having the room to actually fit is way way better that trying to fit and not being able too. 

I would like to say I am the first - but the truth is sometimes I don't let go and boy oh boy do I get dragged. I am still working on this one - and I am no where near close to conquering this - but what's important is that I am trying.

The edge is always always always better. Test and push your limits. Take them to the very edge.

QUOTE CHAT: Three

How often do we let the past dicate our future. How often do we not let the past go and let the future in. To me reading this well just makes plain sense - when we hold onto the past it takes power over our present and our future.  Granted I know it hard thing to do let go - of the if only's and the should have . would have . could have . I hate living with regrets but sometimes you just have to suck it up and live with it - learn from it - grow from it and let it be a part of your story and move on. Easier said than done I realize. Thats the question at hand why do we let the past have so much power over us? Why isn't the most common thing to do is learn grow and apply to the future in a positive way? I hate it when the past has power me - I realize I am the one that allows it too but I don't want to be control by yesterday - I don't want my mistakes failures heartaches pains to be what shapes me and defines me - I don't want it to be know for who I solely am but rather just part of of the many stories that come together and becomes the book of who I am. I want the power of writing the book of my life not my yesterdays.

We have all been there - we have all felt it. That moment when you realize something is wrong and you don't speak for the right. Whether it was watching someone being bullied in grade school - talked badly behind ones back - watching an act of abuse or act of theft. How often do such things happen and our reaction is to turn away or pretend we didn't hear or see it. Why. Why. Why is it so hard to do what is right esp when we stand alone. Maybe with age I have just gotten fed up or maybe I have just gotten more grounded in who I am and what I stand for. Whatever it is I have made a promise to myself to stand for what is right to be someone's voice if wrong is being done to them no matter if I stand up with many or I stand up alone. Because that feeling of turning away or pretending I didn't see or hear well its a feeling that does not sit well with my soul at all.

We all need such people in our lives - to make us realize that we can do better. we can do more. To simply inpsire us to reach further - expand the walls and break thru the glass ceiling. Because we are capable of some much more - even when we think we are not. WE ARE. What a blessing such people are - even if we don't realize at that given moment. 

This is the quote I need to read then re-read then again and again and again when life is challenging me. I need to fully believe in it - trust in it and realize this simple fact.

I know there are 1,000's millions of people who get up each day and end each day - carrying out and living their lives all the while during with a struggle in which most of us know nothing about. So many of us are quick to think some people have it easy because of this or that and all the while that person may be battling some of the biggest demons. Don't judge people just like don't judge a book by its cover that the true time to see what its or who they are all about before you start thinking this or that.

I remember the very first time I was truly left to venture life alone. I will admit I gave myself quite the pity party - but I realized that I couldn't pass this adventure up even if it meant I must go on it alone. I was 26 - 27 years old and I was flying across the ocean - well across the world to Australia where I did not know a single soul. It was the hardest change and challenge of my personal life adjusting - i was homesick but you know what i got thru it and it became the best experience of my life. Just an experience that I know crave for more just like it. And as if I couldn't possibly top that - I explored Australia alone after meeting friends I still went off on a vaca across the downunder alone. It was strange at first just having me as my travel company but I found out that not only didn't I mind it - I LOVED IT. Yes there were those moments where I wished so and so was here but they didn't last long and I was off exploring again. It was the first time I got to know and spend time with the person I truly am when no one else is around. I got to know her and I built a relationship with her and to be honest I think she isn't all that bad in fact I like spending time with just me. Ya it was scary at first but it turned out to be just what I truly needed and longed for. Never again will I be scared to walk alone and I highly suggest you spend some time with yourself too - figure out and know who you are it does something special to ya.

When was the last time you felt it??? How long are you gonna wait til you feel it again?

My advice...don't wait too long!!!

HA. Is that not the truth. How my mind plays things out and how life usually ends up are two different worlds. Some days the way I see it in my mind is better - its the way I wish with all my might it would be but most often than not after time the way it actually is is not only the way that is should be but the better way. We should have to allow life time to play out.

This would be taking the high road...and well sometimes it not in any shape or form easy!!! There are times I wish I could be just as low as the person - give them a dose of their own self. But from experience two things always happen one: it doesn't sit good with my soul because I am being less of a person than I truly am and two: it always back fires in a way that I am always the one that gets burn. Its not easy  thing to do at first but in the end its always the right thing.

Some of the best things in my life stem from what appeared to be the hardest moments. I look at what I accomplised the places I have gone the things I have done - and I am baffled at what I have completed. The places things experiences and moments I would have missed out on if I let the frame of mind "its hard" stand in my way. I dare to be more fearless.

I am done. I am simly done trying to fit in. To be put in a box that I can't fit in. I am willing to meet people half way but I am unwilling to now do it just the way everyone else is because they want me to fit in. I am not here to be noticed - to be a trend setter - I don't strive for such things but being forced in a space that I can't fit into not only robs me of air but of life. So take it as it is - take me as I am but I refuse to be someone that is made to be fit. I have tried too long to make myself fit and I don't intend to feel that pressuse ever again. BE YOU.

Nothing and I mean nothing heals me the way nature does. Nothing eases my soul and brings me peace than spending time outdoors. My restlessness disappears my clogged thoughts become clear and when I thought I couldn't breathe because of the challenges and struggles that lie before me one inhale of nature and my lungs are full. I will come back time and time again to be healed and I know thats where I must go when I have wounds that are fresh or deep. Thank goodness for what surrounds me and my ability to be at home when I am surround in nature's beauty.

This is something I am learning greatly about and something I am learning to adjust my thoughts and feelings around - that just because I do this or say that doesn't mean its given in return. Its my choice with what actions I make and what words I use and granted as much as I would like to see it being returned I must realize its that person's choice and what good is it to make someone or force someone to do something. It is a struggle I know to learn such lessons but with each time that passes I am getting better and better and now have more of the attitude of its not what I get in return I do it as a reflection on how I feel about someone or allowing the kindness that I have to be shown no matter what is done in return.

To me there is nothing worse than just doing just existing. Sometimes I get very restless with myself when I realize I am doing just that - when I am wasting moments in which I could be exploring discovering growing learning and becoming whether it be in life or with my self. This world is full of chances to live and not just exist.

Sometimes I will admit I get down on myself because I haven't done this or completed that - but what I need to realize is that sometimes life takes detours - it has delays and its not about how we stuck to the plan to get there but allowing for those side stops and different paths to take us there - because sometimes most of the time its the better way to truly go. So stop sticking to a certain plan and keep in mind instead a certain goal.

QUOTE CHAT: Two

Just read that again and think about it and apply it to your life. Its time to strip life back to its true core and get in touch with the basic fundamentals of life. You ever get the feeling that there is just too much fog that is blurring our vision from truly seeing life.

I often think about how many people just struggle trying to cover up who they truly are or changing to fit in. When all they truly should ever have to be is simply themselves. I recall of a time where someone once told me they never felt like they could be their real self around me. I was shocked and left feeling ashamed that they first felt like that - that i wouldn't accept them for who they truly are. I was shocked because after knowing this person forever and ever i couldnt' quite comprehend that after everything they still didn't feel like they were enough by simply being themselves - when all I ever wanted was for them to be simply who they truly were. It got me thinking am I judging without realizing? Am I not accepting as I believe I am to be? Is it something that I should in my reactions - my facial expressions or a look I give. Because I know I have never uttered even close to a word to imply that they must be a certain what in order for me to accept them. I have strived from that point on to go above and beyond accpeting people for who they are. I never again want to be linked to a person that is ever even thougth of as someone who isn't accepting. I still feel terrible that I played such a role in someone's life without even realizing I did - regardless its not someone I ever want to be or be known as.  I will always say that being you is enough is more than enough. And I believe you should have the courage of being that person no matter what - people will embrace you and will value you for you being you. I hate being put in a box - I hate when people place me somewhere and think I will fit and then I don't. I hate that feeling of being not enough because I don't fit perfectly or don't do exactly what they want me to do just the want they want me to do it. There are so many people in this world and there is just one you. just one me. How about we simply be them. Those two you and me well they are pretty amazing people and I think more people would be encouraged not only to be themselves if we were but better yet they would inspire to accept people for who they thruly are.

I will admit I struggle greatly with this. So greatly that I go to the point of causing harm because of the fact I can't walk away. My frame of mind is no one is a lost cause. Sometimes people need a second chance or a third or a 20th chance. Sometimes they need structure - they need love - they need guidence. I struggle when is that fine line drawn where you try again or when you walk away. I hate failing especially when I fail people. I hate letting people down esp people I truly care for. I realize thou that sometimes no matter how hard I try I can't do it all for them. They have to be willing to come at least half ways. I still struggle. I prolli always will when it comes to such times.

Sometimes I get so restless - I get filled with intense aniexty to the point of being overwhlemed - because I will get to thinking what are you doing. What are you waiting for. What is the point in what you are doing. So many people have the thought of you have all this time to do to live to explore to travel to do this to do that. But the truth is... you truly do not. Time is such a precious gift that so many of us take advantage of and its only when we are faced with the scary fact of losing it do we truly realize. Why must it be like that - why does it take losing something to finally realize its true meaning and value. I hate waiting - I am terrible at it waiting to buy something - waiting to surprise someone with a gift or a secret - waiting to start - waiting at the doctors office - waiting its terribly hard for me especially waiting to embrace and explore this life.

There are people who believe they are on a journey to find happiness. As if it could ever be found - I have always felt it is something that must be created. The only holder - maker and keeper is one's self. I do feel for those who are off searching for it when all they simply have to do is turn inward and get to truly known one's self. Happiness can't be found just in the places that bring excitement or awaken your senses - it can't be wrapped up and held onto forever like some thing you get for christmas or a birthday. It can't be purchased or linked to someone else's existence. You can't read about it and think what you read in some book will lead you to yours - granted it may help you on the right track. The thing is happiness is a realationship and a reflection of one's self. Its all based on how you embrace life. Happiness is different for everyone - some are only happy when they are at some destintation - Spain, Florida, the beach, the mountain, the lake, the track. Some are happy thru other's seeing them smile hearing them laugh. Some are happy when its quiet. Some are happy when they have a great meal or a great day shopping. There are all forms for all different kinds of people BUT if you were to ask me...the true form of happiness the one that all are seeking for without even realizing it - it the kind of happiness that is form in the rarest form of the word. The best I can even come close to describing it is the happiness that a baby shows - the baby has no means or reasons of being happy the baby just simply is. To find such happiness with one's self no matter where that one is to me that is the true form of happiness. And the one way to have such happiness is to know truly know one's self and realize that you and only you have to power to not find your happiness but better yet create it.