One Day i Hope...

I went to the Time Traveler's Wife... Thou it prolli isn't the best movie ever I couldn't help but get sucker-ed in (if that's a word). I am a BIG cheese for love movies. And Rachel McAdams tends to portray a woman madly and deeply in love to the point where you think its her actual love life and not a movie.

I left that movie theater thinking bout my love life or shall I say the lack of such thing that I have in my life. I do long to have eyes that reflect the love I have for that special guy. I dream of being silly and laughing with him. I hope for a future with such random fun happy loved filled moments that are spent with him. The type of moments that make up your everyday life. I do dream hope and wish for this guy to walk into my life. I wonder if it will ever happen or if he already did and I let him walk out. I do know my life isn't less because I don't have him in it nor am I not complete because I lack his love... BUT well a girl can't help but dream a little even if I only find myself doing it in dark movie theaters... That's the only time I truly find myself thinking truly thinking about my life in such a way... Prolli why I am a sucker for all love story type movies.

One day I hope to live such a life and not have to watch it... Someday. Until then I will settle for watching people like Rachel McAdams-who make falling in love so easy. And who also looks amazing when supposely she has just woken up... Gotta love the make up artists. Besides I prolli will always be a love sucker fool whether I am single dating or married... Its who I am and who I will be regardless if I take in the movies with friends, the someday guy or alone... And I am proud to say that I would be who I am constantly and no guy would change that. Its a take me or leave me sort of deal.

A prayer for the bride and groom

As I sit in a pew at the wedding of Carla Pederson and Brandon Saeger... I watch two lives come together and two paths become one journey. A radiant bride who in a word is perect. Is beautiful. A kind and excited groom. They are committing their lives to each other. Today ends the solo dreams of their lives and starts the dreams of the things to come as husband and wife.

I have been to so many wedding I have also lost count which number this is... But yet it doesn't matter how many I have been too... Watching the bride and groom and seeing that love pour thru every part of them. Seeing the huge smiles and eyes reflecting the image of the person they have chosen to spend their days with never seems to get old to me. Today is their perfect day filled with a future of complete love and happiness. Today is their day filled with hope of a gentle and happy days to come. Days that don't know of struggle. Of pain. Of tears. Of hate. Of sorrow. Only days that are filled of smiles. Of laughter. Of life. Of love. Of happiness. Of hope.

I don't know what the days to come are filled with for this young couple but I pray and hope like I do at all weddings for all bride and groom's that they are blessed with double the happiness and love and half of sorrow and struggles. I hope life's gentle with them... Thou its not always the case... Than I pray that it grants them the strength to keep goin thru the darkness til they reach the light. For even when life brings its darkest storms it also reveals in us the strength that lies within us to battle those stroms. I hope that not just all couples know this but also all people... Dating married or single know this as well.

All the strength you ever need lies within YOU.

Just LiVE it...

Who said you had to have your act COMPLETELY together, when you reached a certain age. Who said in order to be successful there's a checklist of things in your life that must be built-owned-reached and checked off...a list of items such as first car purchase-down payment on a 3 bedroom 2.5 bath ranch split level with a view of your neighbors who are way too close. {I am still trying to learn about the differences between a ranch style house and colonial. I can't even begin to imagine the knowledge I would have to required to understand the paper work that comes with owning a house. } Then with that house comes things like filling in the rooms. Rooms that right now would only required me to purchase more...crap... I mean how much does one single late 20's girl need? I know from the outside looking in I prolli live a life that well no one understand... and on some days myself included. But when you get down to it life isn't meant to be understood...its meant to be lived. People may take the time to judge you... let them... its their time that is wasting. And with me... I usually miss half of it (I have never been thankful for only having one ear of complete hearing...but as the days past I have found it to be a great advantage in more ways than one.)

Some may feel my life is incomplete..some may feel that my life is something to envy. But the truth is... its as plain as its to say its MY life. Just as your life is YOURS... You need not anyone to understand... yourself included... JUST LIVE IT... To depths of your soul from the top of your head down to your toes. Embrace it. Live it. Love it. Every minute of it... I take that back every second of it. Laugh. Smile. WAY TOO MUCH. Be gentle. Be kind. To others and most importantly yourself. Realize that even when you struggle to understand it... LIFE has a meaning that one day you will know. TRUST that your journey is taking you all the places it needs to... TRUST that your journey is bringing you to all the people you truly NEED in your life... TRUST that your journey brings the trials, struggles, challenges, life lessons and changes into your life for a meaning of great purpose... TRUST that YOUR JOURNEY knows just where to lead you... in order for you to become the person you were always meant to be...

One day... it will all come together. One day... even I will understand the life I live... until then... I plan on to just live it. I encourage YOU... to do the same... JUST LIVE IT!

Those DAYS...

You ever have those days where you just find yourself thankful...grateful...blessed. for no reason and for all reasons. You ever have those days where you are just content. just happy. just finding a smile always across your face. Just always laughing... You ever have those days where everything could be going completely not your way yet it doesn't wreck your day at all? where you could spill drop everything you hold...yet it doesn't matter. You ever have those days where you find yourself thinking about nothing yet having the best thoughts ever? You ever have those days where you are drifting off into your own world and loving every second of it yet not remembering a minute of it. You ever have those days where your surroundings just completely take your breath away... the kind of day that the clouds just amaze you or the kind of day that ends with a once in a lifetime sunset that there just aren't any words to describe. TODAY... I had one of those days.... and to be honest I have found myself having those kind of days more than once or twice. I am so grateful...thankful and blessed for those kind of days... those kind of days where nothing special is going on... its not a wedding... a birth... a birthday... a celebration... its just a normal average everyday sort of day. the kind of days you are so glad to say... this is my life... this is how i live my life. I know how special those days are because like marbles in a jar someday I will pull my last marble from the jar... and well if I can say that I spent my "normal-average-everyday sort of day" having those kind of days... well... that's pretty darn cool way of living and spending this life.

Breath of New Life

Sharlotte Marie Koch was born on July 24, 2009. As I held her in my arms being just around 5 hours old... I breathed her in... for she is pure life... she is pure perfection... she is pure joy-love-happiness. There is not one single thing wrong with her. Holding her in my arms I realized the miracle that she is. As I found myself looking down at her... i thought of all that was to come in her life. All of the dreams she will dream... some she will reach some she won't. I thought of all she will see... do... feel... I thought of all the people she will have in her life... All the happiness and love she will bring to others as well as others bring to her. Five hours old and I love her as much as I love her sisters Sabrina and Sadey. Five hours old and she has no clue the changes she has brought to the lives that already love her dearly.

I sat there for quite some time watching my cousin Travis smile... he was glowing... he was proud. A father of now three... three daughters... something I am sure he will find himself stressed at times and maybe even a head full of gray... you know the things girls do to their fathers. But on that day... he was on cloud nine. And I was so happy to see him so happy. I am blessed to call Travis, Jill, Sabrina, Sadey and now Sharlotte family. I am grateful for their kindness and love. I am proud to be a part of the Koch Family because of moments like these. Its times like this I am glad to be a part of an amazing family. For I know one day Sharlotte will feel this same love. And she will be MORE because of the love she is given from her family.

Welcome our little miracle Sharlotte Marie. YOU ARE FINALLY HERE... oh how we have waited for you to enter our lives... and now that you are here... you are even better than what we dreamed and hoped for... you are the breath of new life... you are perfection... you are a miracle... but above all... YOU ARE LOVED... now and ALWAYS...

Golfin in Paradise

365 days...has it been enough time Ken for you to golf all the courses in Paradise? I can just picture you living the dream...golfing smiling laughing and making wise cracks. Which I know makes carrying on down here for your family and friends a bit easier. Know you are missed by many. Oxbow just doesn't seem the same without your presences smile laughter and jokes. I hope you are enjoyin this time that you are spending with your grand daughter before she arrives to send a lifetime wit us!! We look forward to her arrival for I know a little Ken she will have in her! Just as Ethan and Gavin have. Rest well and here's to many perfect golf days for you in paradise.

Could it Really Be....

July 17, 2008 seemed like any other day of the year, to so many in this world. Many can't remember what they were doing on this day a year ago. Yet to some they know just what they were doing on this day... For this is the day their entire world stopped and than was forever changed... Ben Lenzen was taken from this world much much too soon but his memory and legacy live forever on in those who knew him and those who loved him. He is not forgotten.

Its hard to believe its been a year...when for his family and close friends time seems to have stood still. Its hard to believe its been so long since they have heard his laugh seen his smile and felt his presence. Its hard to believe... that this world no longer has Ben in it. Its hard to believe we have carried on without you. That life has gone on without you in it.

But only because of you, Ben your Becky, your parents, your brothers, your sister, your grandparents, your family, your best mate, your friends have been able to smile again, laugh again, and live...only because of you! For they know in order to see you again life must go on. They know the only true way of honoring you and keeping your legacy alive is for them to live this life to the fullest. For they know how upset you would be if they didn't. Just as you know how hard it is for them at times.

I pray Ben you hold them close to you, that they may feel your love and presence. I pray they are granted peace. I pray they are blessed with memories they have long ago forgotten. I pray that thru you may you guide them out of darkness and into the light. Know you are missed by many Ben and never forgotten. Rest well and enjoy YOUR paradise Ben!