Happy Holidays

Its that time of year people. Christmas is HERE. So from the snowy mountains of Montana I am here to spread my holiday cheer can you hear it echo from the Flathead Range?? MMMMMMMMEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYY CCCCHHHHHHHRRRRRIIIIISSSSSTTTTTTMMMMAAAAAAASSSSSSSS. I hope your day is filled with love and laughter. May the gift of family and friends surround you and fill your day with utter joy. For its the simpliest of blessings that mean the most. So I hope you have a million of them today and always. Happy Holidays.

Christmas Is...

Its that time of the year where we find ourselves thinking Tis' the Season and saying Happy Holidays - Merry Christmas and so on. We all have our own Christmas is and what this holiday means to our own life. So here is mine.

Christmas Is...
My Grandma Koch's butter cut-out cookies with homemade frosting.
Decorating the house and the tree with my Mom.
Shoving the drive way with my Dad and Brothers (ok me watching while they mostly shove.)
The family gathering at my aunt and uncle's farm-ranch west of Mandan.
My aunts and cousins singing Christmas Carols all night long.
Home made Christmas Stocking sewed by Grandma Koch.
The angel fruit cake Granny always baked.
The count down to Christmas my Mom always did and still does from my brothers and I.
Family gathering.
Mass at midnight.
Jumping over a bonfire in cold winter weather.
Driving to Mandan - Bismarck usually in not advised driving conditions for Christmas
A hot cup of friendship tea, apple cidar and hot cocco.
Lighting the Blessing Circle full of candles each holidng a blessing for that year.
Gathering for the holidays at 1003 Lohstreter
The massive Christmas Village that my Grandma started to collect and put up that now is displayed at my aunt's.
Baking cookies with my mom, Grandma, aunt and cousins.
Christmas mornings spent at 1703 Monte Dr with Granny and Gramps
A big family all gathered in a small room to open gift.
A wrapping paper throwing fight (that usually involved everyone throwing at Aunt Karla).
Christmas music playing 24/7.
Putting lights up in weather you swear will freeze your fingers off.
Watching my father try to find where my mother hid the Christmas Cookies.
Playing family board games and cards.
Eating a massive meal including a deep fried turkey (LOVE IT).
Watching Christmas movies... even the cheezzy ones on Lifetime and Hallmark.
Saying quotes from Christmas movies.
Trying to figure out which gifts are who's since my mother refuses to put tags on gifts til we open them.
Helping my mom make gifts using her crafty skills (I usually watch and try to help).

But mostly Christmas is to me Family. Whether it means being with all of those family members, just a few or being away but thinking about them. To me that is what the holidays is all about. Family. Thou I have missed last Christmas and again this Christmas it brings me joy knowing that they will all gather together. That somewhere all those things I listed up above are taking place. They continue on even if I am not there. For its tradition- Christmas and Family. And knowing that it all continues on makes missing it a little less hard. Because I know from 27 Christmases prior of the laughter, the smiles, the happiness, the joy and the love that happens when my family both the Goldmann and the Koch sides gather. And in the end Christmas is and always should be about family to me.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas.

THANKFUL

On this month of Thanksgiving I am grateful for the air that fills my lungs. For the love that fills my heart and the warmth that lives in my soul from being surround by such amazing people. I am thankful for the life that I am granted to live. I am unsure when my marbles are up but I know this much for sure I have been given more than I have ever dreamed of having, more in many ways than what I ever should. I oray that I live my life that reflects the thankfulness that I carry with me. For I realize many have it worse than me. And I pray that kindness and love surrounds such people.

On this month of thanksgiving I am thankful for a million simple things that adds up to everything in my life.

MY Easter Blessing

First thing is first...Happy Easter one and all.

I am surrounded by God's blessings and gifts everyday. In every moment of my being I see and feel these very things. In the lives that know me love me and care for me. In the lives that are right before me - in the lives that are far away and in the lives I no longer see. Sometimes the moment gets to me and I am left speechless. I find myself in such a way when I am with my family a lot. Everyone's family is sacred to a person's life. Mine is no different. They support me. Encourage me. Care for me. Love me for no other reason than I am Michelle. I am their daughter. Sister. Grand-daughter. Niece. Cousin. Godchild. Godmother. I am family. And I love them for the same reason. What a blessing that is. What a gift to have not just one's love in such a way but an entire group of beings. Who stand by you. Who have your back. Who share in your laughter. Your smiles. Your tears. Your heartache. Your life. I knew at a young age of the blessing I was given in my family.

Yet as the years go by I realize just how much they are each a part of my being. My life. And I find myself watching them (not stalker like) hearing their voices seeing their smiles and faces. I am over-comed with pride and love that they are my family. They are in my life. And they are stuck with me just as I am stuck with them.

So thank you for the blessing of Family. And the gift of each one whether they are a Goldmann or a Koch. My cousin or my uncle. My mom or my brother. My aunt or my grandparent. My sister-in-law or my dad. I am thankful and grateful not just on this Easter day but everyday of my life.

2010

Its a New Year. A new 365 days that now await to be lived. As I sit here and type I am unaware of what 2010 will hold for me. I don't know of its happiness and sorrow or if its lessons and growth. Change has never been something easy in this life, yet I hope to embrace whatever life changes come my way. I hope to see the goodness in life's darkness. I hope to laugh triple the times I cry. I hope that my mess ups, mistakes and failures force to me grow and to become more and not less. I hope that my words and actions are kind to those who surround me. I hope that I bring joy and pride into the lives that I know not hurt and shame. I hope that the regrets that I carry lighten as I make my way thru this journey of life--but yet never to the point that I don't remember. I hope I can forgive those who hurt me or let me down in the same breath I hope that I am granted forgiveness from those that I hurt and let down. I hope I am blessed with friendship from old and new friends. I hope that I am given the gift of living another 365 days. I hope that 2010 will be even better than 2009. I hope I find the gifts and blessings in each day of this year. I hope that this year I will settle more into myself. Be more confident, more understanding, more kind, more giving. I hope I become more of the person I am meant to be with each day. And more than anything I hope to improve the quality of life in each person that shares this life with me. I hope that my imprint in their life is one worth holding onto and then I hope that -that person pays it forward to someone else. I hope this world becomes a bit more because of the lives that show understanding, kindness, love and hope.

2009 is over, and what has been done has been done, what has been said has been said. There's no changing or taking back. But what is given to us is a new start, a new day, a new year. How we spend it is up to Me, to You...to All. Thou actions can't have a redo nor can the words we spoke be cleared. But maybe just maybe what we have learned from such moments can help us to grow. And maybe just maybe help us find a way to right a wrong. I sit at the edge of my chair with excitement of what a new year will hold. I am excited to embrace all that comes to my life in this new year. And I hope that somewhere you are too. I don't make a new year's resolution. Because mostly they never last past March. What I do make is a promise to myself that this year will top last years. That I will laugh triple the times I cry. That I will find ways to better myself and esp the lives that surround me. That I will grow and become more from my mess ups, mistakes and failures. That I will improve the quatlity of life of those around me. That I embrace the changes life brings to me. That the changes are ones that help me grow and become. That I am granted the 365 days of 2010 to live...and to live those days well.

A Christmas Wish

For 2009 I wish for forgiveness of my short comings, failures and mistakes. I wish for growth and wisdom from my wrong doings. I wish that in my weaknesses I find someday strengths. I wish for another healthy 365 days. I wish for more laughter than tears. I wish for my loved ones a peaceful and happy new year. I wish that I, You and all find the blessings in this life whether we be walking with the warmth of the sun or with the bitter darkness. I wish that we find ourselves laughing and smiling in all of our coming days not just the picture perfect ones. I wish that the challenges and changes that will be forthcoming in 2010 be ones that force me to grow-gain and become. I wish for a year of not standing still but one of constant moving. I wish to be challenge outside my comfort zone and experience new places, things and so on.

On this Christmas Day away from my family, I wish them the gift of love, happiness and health. I wish them many smiles across their faces and that their laughter echo thru out the house. And above all I hope they know the blessing they are and the gift that they are in my life...Together and especially apart-they will always be a huge part of my life. And I am soo grateful to call them Family. Though Christmas just isn't the same when it isn't spent with them, I know that somewhere they are all gathered - throwing wrapping paper at Aunt Karla, watching Aunt Renee carry around an endless glass of wine, jumping a bonfire, eating way too much turkey, playing games, singing Christmas Carols and just enjoying each others company. And knowing that those things always stays the same makes smile.

MERRY CHRISTMAS to you All...

I am Thankful

December 23, 2009 can you believe tomorrow will be Christmas Eve? Where did the time go?? So we have just another day to bring to mind all the blessings and gifts we have in our lives. I am thankful for a fun loving and (yes most of the time crazy) supportive family. I am thankful for my true journey friends. I am thankful for a roof over my head and money in my pocket-even if its only 50 cents. I am thankful for my good health and the ones I love. I am grateful for being just where I am at. I am thankful for my freedom, being able to voice my thoughts and views. I am thankful for this life that I am simply able to live how I choose... I am truly thankful for so many things.

Happy Holidays

It smells of fresh pine and cinnamon. The twinkle and sparkle of the tree with ornaments reflecting the christmas lights. And to top it off snow is softly falling down... You might just think I am living in the Norht Pole... close... Its Christmas in Whitefish... and let me tell you its a magical place here. The town is festive and the people greet you with a Happy Holidays and a Merry Christmas. The snow transforms this town and mountain into a winter wonderland. You can't help but hmm a tune of frosty, or its beginning to look a lot like christmas...

So as I sit here and type to the world of unknow readers...I am filled with peace - joy - love... to be right where I am at - at this very moment. I am not quite sure what could top this holiday moment... Gosh I love holiday moments... and I hope to have heaps more before the big man gets here on Christmas Eve.

Happy Holidays.

My Christmas Wish.

Maybe its the holidays, maybe its people making an extra effort to show kindness and compassion. Maybe its because everywhere I look I see a face smiling back at me. Maybe its because I hear thank you so much more. Maybe its because its around this time of year people are coming together and just enjoying the company of others. Maybe its because so many are realizing what this holiday it truly all about. Its just a blessing I guess you could say, to walk the streets and hear a happy holidays or merry christmas to you. You see....people for some reason get it around the holidays. They finally see that the best gifts they can give others is simply something that costs nothing and well can't be found anywhere but inside of your heart. They are saying such words as Thank you, Your welcome, I forgive you, I love you, I am grateful, I am blessed. Such words as I hope the coming year is gentle to you, I wish you a Merry Christmas...Happy Holidays....Its a smile from a stranger, its holding open a door, its giving a helpful hand....its these well simple simple simple things....that well in all honestly could be done all year along but for some reason most of the time you only see them around the holidays....YET in all honestly that is better than nothing.

I have had the blessing of having 28 Winter Holidays...soon to be 29...and there are soo many moments to choose from but one I would like to share...As a child, I remember goin to midnight mass in my grandparents church...Before this church remodeled...they had huge cement steps leading up to the church doors. And it was a Christmas tradition to gather on those steps at midnight --no matter what it was like outside-- and sing christmas carols...I will never forget one Christmas prolli when I was 9 or 10...standing on the church steps holding Granny's hand...and well as a girl of that age...I typically hated or at the very least couldn't stand my brothers...esp my kid brother. But that Christmas I remember not only was I holding my grandmother's hand but also one belonging to someone on most days who drove me to almost taking his life(my brother, Jacorian)...even then I realized that thou he was on most days a huge pain...in some strange way I was grateful that he was a pain in my life...because it meant he was in my life. OH course after the singing was over it went right back to him being a pain and me wanting to take his life... But it just goes to show you...Christmas has a million moments of people showing kindness, compassion, understanding, forgiviness and love....which in itself if you think about it...is truly remarkable....

Everyone has their favorite part of the holidays. Some its frosting cookies, decorating the tree, christmas shopping, wrapping the gift so perfectly...Some its the gathering of family and friends, some its midnight mass in a candle lite church.... Well I guess mine is a bit of all...but if I truly had to pick...its hearing the laughter bounce off the walls in a house filled with my family. My favorite part is to step back in the shadows and just watch...just hear...just feel... For I can see-hear and feel the love that has blessed my life. And sometimes I feel like my heart could just brust into two because in those moments it is soo filled with love and happiness...And that feeling right there...to me...thats what Christmas is all about.

So whats my Christmas wish this year...what do I want?? Well...I want someone to forgive someone they never thought they would. I want someone to hold open a door for a stranger. I want someone to hold their kid brother's hand and for at least ten minutes not have the urge to take his life :). I want someone to take a step back and for a moment truly see-hear and feel the love that surrounds them. I want someone to say thank you, your welcome, I forgive you, I love you. I want many many someone's giving the gifts that they have to offer that they carry in their hearts. WHAT a CHRISTMAS that would be if everyone showed understanding, kindness, compassion and love....not just to those they love and care about but to all....

EASTER=HOPE

It is Easter Sunday...and I am spending this day nestled up on a mountain enjoyin this Spring day...It is a time for candy-colored eggs and chocolate...since I am not lover of candy or chocolate I find this holiday mostly a day of HOPE...Hope for a new start...Hope for success...Hope for love...Hope for friendship...Hope for forgiveness...Hope for understanding...Hope for compassion...Hope for trust...

For I feel that He died on that cross to give and bring us HOPE...in any form that we want or we need...Hope for a better tomorrow...Hope for a life filled with endless possiblities and love...He gave of himself so we could have HOPE...You can believe in whatever you want...but I feel that it doesn't matter what you believe in or who you believe in...This holiday season is on based on and surrounded by one thing...and that one thing is HOPE....

As I watch my neighborhood kids run the mountain looking for eggs with their baskets and Easter outfits...I find myself smiling...For its undescribable the hope children carry with them...they are the future in the growing...they are smiles...they are laughs...they are happiness...they are hope...And if you have HOPE....oh the places it will take you...oh the changes you will see...Happy Easter..I wish you days filled with HOPE in all areas of your life.

President's Day

Happy Presidents Day! While most schools have the day off and businesses are closed...I am at Whitefish High...they seem to never have days off from jan til april until spring break comes---talk bout cabin fever! This was why I was active in everything that seemed possible...so I always got out of school! One of the smartest things I have ever done...thou I realized I learned a lot from all the things I was so active in back in my schools days at BHS.

Today is a day where most Americans have off...but how many actually celebrate the real reason of this day! How many actually give thanks to the men that have been our presidents? Or even give thanks to the men and women that have helped these men? It is not a job I would ever like or even want my father husband brother or son to have! Because they are suppose to be these perfect flawless leaders...get real people they will make mistakes and I can stand how people bad mouth them and trash talk them....I wanna say and you could do better? What makes you so so right...stop judging! You have no clue what lead to them doin such things..you have no clue at all...you may think you do because you are only looking at it from your point of view and not the millions the president has to...I think this country would go a lot further if we find understanding and compassion to all people including the man we call or have called our president...they love america and everything it stands for or else they wouldn't be in that oval office...they want more for you and me and they want us to be safe and protected...so do me a favor don't be so quick to fire off your mouth with a drop of the hat...they are not perfect but instead of just focusing on the bad and negative take that time to realize the positive and good...and hope that will out weigh the bad or hope for improvements

Another thing we just think that one guy has to do all the work...how about taking repsonsiblity for your part! How bout showing ownership in your counrty your state your town! How bout finding things that you can do that will be positive....imagine what would be if all americas lived like this!! If you want to see change...start with the change you can do!!