Wednesday, January 29, 2014

We love you already...

In roughly two weeks time my brother and sister in-law will be having a party to find out as a family what baby number two will be, who just happens to be due on Granny's birthday June 28. We will all gather and I am sure be on pins and needles withe excitement to see if you will find blue or pink that day.

Regardless if this is a baby boy or a baby girl I know one thing for certain he/she will be loved and accepted with welcoming arms by many.  My family and extend family may be well a little wild a little crazy a little loud a little strange and well there sure are alot of us one thing is for certain they are loving caring kind and even fun.So ya he/she will prolly be spoiled with not just endless love but prolly a few things as well...To me thou I really don't care if this child will sit down to pee or stay standing - I just want the child to be healthy - I want the child to be born when the time is ready at full term with no complications. I want a labor that is healthy for Shonna. I want the three of them( Paul, Shonna and Taylor) to leave as a family of three and return all together as a family of four. I have beome more and more aware of the miracle a baby is and just what a gift it truly is to have a healthy baby and mom. These are the prayers I pray. For I know it doesn't matter if the baby is a Broke or a Shelia in the end this baby will be just what our family needs and wants. This baby will complete us in ways we never knew we were missing out on. He/She will be a source of joy. a source of happiness. a source of love. a source of smiles and laughter....and our lives will never be the same again. I am positive I will find less room on my hard drive with photos of this perfect face volumed in mass numbers and chances are a few less dollars in my pocket because well you know I just couldn't say no...and well I couldn't imagine it any other way. The Goldmann family will be eight once this bundle of joy arrives and I am quite certain with time this child will be just as crazy just as wild just as fun just as loud as the rest of us...I am certain he/she will fit in right from the start.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

I am Blessed.

Have you ever just stopped and reflected upon your life. Have you ever truly thought about the people that surround you, the people that have come and the people that have gone, the people that give your life meaning, the people that emcompass who you are, the people that hold the stories that make you - well you. Have you ... lately i have found myself spending alot of time in thought - reflecting. I have always been grateful for what I have been given in this life but even I have come to notice that sometimes I have no clue at all just how blessed my life has been.

33 years ago I was born into a family that has done nothing but love and support me from the moment I took my first breath. I was given two people to call Mom and Dad that have given me the roots to stay grounded in this life but wings to chase and achieve the life I dream to live. Two brothers that push me pass my limits and help me realize I am capable of even more. Their endless gaining up on me laid the foundation to build my source of strength.  A gal that I have come to call my true sister that has empowered me and provided me with a  source of strength to face life head on and to never back down. A sister in-law who has embraced my crazy not normal family as her own and simply loves us for who we are  never  trying to change us, I am quite positive its a role only she could fill.  A niece that reminds me to live right now in this moment and to have as much fun as you can - don't save the laughter smiles or happiness for later - dance for no reason even if there's no music...An extend family that have only gotten better and better with each year that has pass. A family that loves me just as I am - the crazy - wild - off on her own - lives life just a bit different from the rest self. It no longer comes as a surprise when I am out doing something off the wall or taking a life path so different from everyone comes more as a shock when I am doing what everyone else is doing. They have stopped asking when I am going to settle down and have come to understand that I am fully and completely happy with my life just as it is right now in this moment...that if it happens someday great if it doesn't my life will not be any less. I realize the blessing it is to call these faces my family. I am honored to call those faces my family. I have come to grasp just how important these faces are to have around as we battle the journey of cancer. We have come closer as a family in whole in ways that I can't begin to describe or explain all I can truly say is I am just so very glad  they, each and everyone of them is here.

My life  has been filled with teachers, professors, coaches, and bosses that have taught me to believe in myself, to stand strong on my own two feet, to put in the sweat blood and tears - the work is worth it. My parents may have laid and supported the foundation in which I have built my life upon but its these people that installed the sound structure in which I have housed the core being of who I am. These people have pushed me inspired me motivated me believe in me and helped me realize my potential. Thru their lessons and words I have been able to break thru the glass ceiling and grasp many goals and dreams I never truly thought even possible. I am filled with gratitude when I think of these outstanding people who put in time to simply better my life.

Then there are those that I call my friends, whether I have known them all my life or for only a short time - whether they are my best friends or my co-workers - my classmates or my mates from downunder - whether they were in my life for one flitting moment or someone I only talk to every now and then. Those that I call my friend are people I will always have time for. Each and every single person has played a role in my life to shape and form who I am and by removing just one of them from my life I truly believe would alter who I am in ways even I can't imagine. Friends are those beings that share in this journey with us - who share our happiness and create memories with. They hold us up - they fill us up with laughter hope and friendship - they help us realize that we can endure the life that sets before us and that we are not alone. I owe so very much to those I call my friends.

I think of who I I got I have grown into this person that I am at this very moment...I am in no shape or form great...and well perfect is not ever a word I want linked to my name...but I am me...simply me is who I am...and its a me that I am quite happy to be...and because of all these people that I have in my life...those that have come and gone and those that have come and stayed I have come to know and believe with every ounce that makes up who I am...that I am enough just as I am, I am loved and accepted just as I am. I am humbled by all that has been given to me and humbled by the lives that have walked with me during this journey. It is because of these very people that I know I will endure whatever struggles changes challenges loss failure that comes my way... I will LOVEthisLIFE each and every step I take each and every breath I take...its the very least I can do for all they have done for me. I am  blessed.