Friday, March 29, 2013


I believe that it doesn't matter what religion you choose to worship or believe in. It doesn't matter if you call him Buddha Lord or whatever it is you prefer. I am not here to push my views on you for I feel its a relationship that I have with my faith - its personal and its all mine...just as I want and hope the same for all. We are all different so naturally we all should not believe the same nor pracitice the same when it comes to things like faith. I don't speak for all but during such holidays my main focus is to show kindness true pure kindness not just on such days as Easter and Christmas but each and everyday. I focus on realizing and knowing my blessings and being grateful for what I have been given and who I have the honor to have in my life. My goal is to live a life that reflects such things as kind. compassionate. caring. true. trustworthly. I want my life to be defined by the goodness not just in myself but more importantly the goodness I bring to others as well as bring out of others. I want to live that truth each and everyday that I an granted on this earth. Each and every moment air fills my lungs I want to be grateful for this gift to simply be here.

On this Easter we will gather as a family - like always I am sure it will be loud - full of way to much food - laughter will be heard - stories told - smiles to be seen and prolly even a few tears. We will come together to be grateful for what we have been given and to take this time just to enjoy the fact we are together. Life sometimes presents challenges - changes and struggles that we do not want to accept that such changes will modify our life forever. Changes is well hard. Hard to accept hard to adjust and hard to come to terms that we can never go back. Life is not meant to be a smooth journey if it was we would lose the meaning. We must be tested. challenged so we are force to GROW. to BECOME. some lessons life brings are small and easy to handle take on others requires TIME. But what I know for certain we ENDURE. We can endure so much more than we think we can handle...sometimes our strength is tried and we find an extra source a reserve right off the bat other times we don't find such until we are broken and knock to our knees. Other times its takes us hitting rock bottom and someone helping us back up. Regardless we carry on. Life sure can be tough but we can be tougher. 

I know the changes that are happening in my family will test us. It might bring us to the point where we think we might break. It may lead us to a darkness that we must find our way in for some time. BUT it may also lead us to something better. Its hard to say...all we can do is take it one day at a time. The mountain that lies before us is quite massive but there is  one thing I know for certain my family is capable of such a climb and we will do it together - step by step LIVING each step of the way this life to its very fullest. Thou the climb will be tough we will still find the happiness and laughter to make it seem not so bad. Becasue you see its all about your attitude and to change from what seems has been DONE to you - to what has been GIVEN to you. Which in return comes back to how will you let this change your life. Will it control you or will you stay true to the core of who you it easy to find the blessings - to show kindness - to be grateful - to be positive - to carry an attitude that reflects is a challenge but I also know life is meant to be held as a gift and its our job to honor that gift not just when things are easy or going our way but esp in moments that challenge us - it may take everything out of us to do so...but it must be done as simple as that.

Sure this holiday is filled with bunnies. baskets. eggs. flowers. ham. and such but its also a prime time for you to stop and reflect on what has simply been given to you the blessings you have and the people that surround you. Its my favorite time to sit or stand in the corner and take my surroundings watch and smile and then close my eyes and whisper THANK YOU. for even I know I have been given way way more than I ever deserved. Its a special moment that to me defines faith...something no-one else knows about its between me and my faith my maker. And then to make sure I live that gratefullness and thankfullness each and everyday...that is how you repay such a gift. HAPPY EASTER.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013


Today I am thankful for the people that surround me and the people that share in this journey of life with me - for the people that give my life meaning way beyond what words can possibly come close to describe. For each and everyone that has been in my life - is in my life and will be in my life. I am more simply because of having you here. It doesn't matter the why when what or how that brought you here nor does it matter the lenght you have stayed it just all comes down to the fact you were here. you are here. you will be here. I realize quite some time ago not all are as lucky and as blessed. This thing we call life its well pretty darn beautiful  - it might take our breath away from amazement or leave us gasping for air when it punches us in the gut during times of challenge yet what remains true is the bonds we form with another. Sharing this life... Today I am thankful for YOU... all of you... too too too many to even name...but i still say to you.... THANK YOU for being YOU and for being here.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Am I TEN again???

I don't usually voice/speak my thougths or words. Because I feel that everyone is entitled their own thoughts feelings and opinions - whether they differ from mine or are the same as mine it is a basic right that should be honored. AS. SIMPLE. AS. THAT. We are all different. What makes us the same is the beating of our hearts - the emotions we feel - the knowledge we hold - the air that fills our lungs... What makes up the fabric of this life of this world is the fact that we are the same no matter race gender ethnic background or the coutnry we come from yet we are all different. I am no less or no greater than my neighbor nor my brother or sister. We are ONE the same.

There was a time we were all told what to do - how to do it - when to do it and how not to do something. Make your bed - finish your homework - pull the weeds - take a bath - eat your peas - brush your hair - brush your teeth - do the dishes ... we were all in the shoes with the thought I CAN NOT WAIT TO BE BIGGER so I can do what I want to do - make my own choices....  As we grow we are given more responsibility more room to think for ourselves - choose for ourselves - decide for ourselves. And as we mature we gain the knowledge to do what is best for oneself and we respect that what might be right for us might not be right for another. This is a sign we have entered adulthood and are capable of living life without being told what to do and what to think. This is something that I don't take for granted nor lightly. I sometimes may make the wrong choice or do the wrong thing and i am left to learn from the consequences - thats what learning by mistakes. or by life is ALL ABOUT. 

 What I can not stand is being told after spending years and years gaining this very right is being put back in those same shoes of being told what to do and how to do it. IT doesn't matter my view - it doesn't matter if i am right or wrong what is valued is the fact that i have a choice. you have a choice. we have a choice. I don't judge because i have no idea what its like to be in anyone's shoes but my own. And if i were to ever be stuck between a rock and a hard place i would be grateful for my RIGHTS. my CHOICES. I don't agree with what is going on with women's rights to choose. Because in the end its MY BODY someone is having control of - I say this knowing that if I were to have a baby growing in me i would choose the life of that child but that is MY CHOICE and I respect the choices that other women make whether they are the same as mine or differ. What is wrong is having that choice be taken away. It leaves me thinking...I am SORRY I didn't realize I was TEN AGAIN!!!!

Thank you North Dakota for telling me what I can and can not do to my OWN BODY for making that PERSONAL choice for all WOMEN for US.  I can only hope this is followed by what I can and can not eat - what I can and can not wear - for that matter please take away my right to vote and please be sure to send me and all women a text book filled with what we can and can not think say and feel. I am not one for being torked off but today is the first time in 32 years that I am not proud to say I am from North Dakota.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A new mountain.

Yesterday wasn't the best day ever yet it wasn't the worse day ever either. But I will say getting sucker punched in the gut with the wind vacuumed slurped from your lungs is never a great feeling. It takes awhile for you to learn how to breathe again to catch your breath. Sometimes in life you get so focused into what you are doing you have  mountain to climb and right when you think you are almost to the top it doubles in size and you realize in many ways you have to start your climb all over again. Once upon knowing this you are left feeling utterly exhausted completely furious at the fact that you have what seems like an endless climb ahead of you when it seemed like moment ago you were making great progress. Hikes are like that...the trees part you take in your surroundings and think wow i am high up i must be close to the top but then reality hits you and you realize nope i have quite a bit more to go. There is nothing wrong with getting torked off with life and the mountains it brings to our lives...nothing wrong with just wanting to stop or stand still. What does matter is that we climb once again. That we gather our strength catch our breath and start again. It doesn't matter how long it takes us or how big our steps are...just that we are taking them. A journey of a 1,000 miles begins with one single step. So we take it...with hopes this new mountain will have the greatest view of all. WE are made to carry on. to live this life to its very fullest. And above all find the blessings as we go that make us realize there is much to be grateful for...LOVEthisLIFE...even in the darkness. even in the climb. even in the rain. even in the challenges. even in the struggles. Its still a beautiful life to be fought for.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Little Miss Niezwaag

I am a tad late with this post I know...but as the saying goes better late than never. February 18, 2013 at 5:37pm brought the arrival of a sweet baby girl to the proud parents of my great friends Bridgette and Casey - weighing 8lbs 2oz and 21 inches long Sloane Marie made her grand enterance into the world. I am literally tickled pink and over the moon for the new Niezwaag family of three.

In the early days of January 2000 I moved into Weible Hall at NDSU, after being in the high raises my first semester as much as I enjoyed the upper class living I knew I needed to be in the freshman dorms - so after Christmas break I moved into my new home and one of the first people I met lived two doors down from me - a friendly smiling brunette gal that went by the name of Bridgette. We became fast friends and have remained just that to this day. We all have that friend - the one we have had since way back then that shared in our college days that was around when we were finding ourselves - growing into the people we were meant to be while struggling with adjusting to life in college. Bridgette to be has always been that friend that defines friendship. Her values are strong. She is pure kindness. She is simple but in the classiest of ways. She is unconditional love. She is someone you can always count on. She is someone who is patient - caring and accepts you for you. Our friendship is a lot like the tide sometimes touching the shore and sometimes out to sea but something you can always rely on and trust that it will be there. As the years pass its a friendship that i turn to more and more. One that I am certain that will only grow stronger and will only bloom more with the years that go by.  I have known always just the blessing I was given with the friendship I have found with B. To this day I am grateful that she found it worth her while to be-friend to the crazy blondie from Beulah and better yet to think of me as someone to keep around after all these years. I think of her and her husband Casey as family....and to add a sprinkles to the sundae their families are just as great as the two of them and always welcome me with a hug and a smile.

So on the evening of February 18th a cherry was added to the sundae with the birth of Sloane. Its an amazing feeling watching one of your best friends pregant and turning into a mommy and daddy. Seeing the pride. joy. happiness. love beam from their attitude. their eyes. their soul. I loved that wholesome feeling they let off while little Sloane was growing in the tummy. I have yet to meet her and see Bridgette and Casey in their new and most important roles but know they are beaming even more. There is no doubt in my mind that Sloane was born into an amazing family and has quite possibly the best mommy and daddy one could ever find. I look forward to watching Bridgette and Casey grow into parents - roles they were both meant to fulfill and be. And I am honored to be apart of a certain little miracle that goes by the name of Sloane's life. I look forward to being in awe of her - just simply being in awe of her presence. looking are her little hands feet ears - listening to her ooh and ahh. Just being left in amazement of how perfect she is. I know for certain our first meeting will be one that I will never forget and treasure forever. And as the days turn into years I hope to still remain a part of Sloane's life someone she can rely on to laugh with her - play with her and simply love her for who she is - just like her mommy has always done with me.  This life it is truly something isn't it and what makes it even better is the people that we are blessed to share it with so I say thank you to the Niezwaag's and the Martini's for being a part of this journey that I am on and in return I hope you know the honor I think it is to be a part of yours. And to Little Miss love to you - seeing your photos brightens my days and leaves me with a great big smile...may you always know just how special you are to so many and may you never forget the lives you have changed all for the better and greater good by just being here and simply being YOU.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

I can hear 'em calling....

Have you ever had that feeling - that wondering - searching feeling like something is missing - that this isn't the place your suppose to be so you keep well looking and seaching without even realizinig it. Then one day you stumble upon this sacred piece of paradise way out in God's land deep in the thick of mother nature - on the corner of a map basically in Canada. You google it and see what this place is WHITEFISH. GLACIER. SNOWGHOSTS. SKIING. BIG MOUNTAIN. You look at the pictures and think oh my that I need to see with my own eyes. So you do something crazy - after arriving back from living in Australia what do i decide to do apply for a job way way way out in Montana - I somehow get it. I pack my belongings up and head to a place that no one knows my name nor I theirs. Little do I know...I have finally found the place that I truly soul's home. A place that I no longer feel like a wondering lost soul...I am simply at peace.

You know that OH MY GOD just can't help but say when somehting so rare so raw so beautiful takes your breathe away and leaves you completely and utterly speechless ...well thats my soul's paradise. The Flathead Valley home of Whitefish Mountain Resort, Glacier National Park and Flathead Lake. A place that should be on each and everyone's bucket list. This place was my home and oh the joys did it bring. Once I arrived I soon realized it was a place that no pictures truly did justice - it was better to be seen with your two feet standing on the ground and nature wrapped around you.

Things in life sometimes lead you away from the places you truly want to be - leaving this place was one of the hardest things I have ever truly done - I don't talk about it much because in a way its too hard to explain or describe ORR more so I am just too stubborn to let that place go all I can truly say is this ...I left my soul in those mountains for the purpose to one day come back to it. I know if I leave something so important to one's being that it is something that you won't live forever without you will come home again.  I am not coming home for good now - but i am coming for a long stay i can hear the mountains calling Micheellleeee Micheellleeee Micheellleee...and I must go not forever as they intend for me to stay but long enough to fill my lungs refresh my spirit and find my soul back in its body with hopes of a certain smile that only forms while I am in my peace is found on my face....I MUST GO.