Friday, October 30, 2009

Oh the places he will go...welcome BAYLOR

I am a few days late but in my books its still news worth hearing and celebrating. Oct 27th 2009 brought the arrival of 8lbs 8ozs 21 inches Baylor Thomas Petrie.... Welcome to this life little guy. I hope you have your daddy's smile, Laken's cute chubby cheeks and a gentle soul like your mommy's. You are already such a blessed soul to call such people your family. You are already loved so by not only your mommy, daddy, big sister and grandparents as well as aunts and uncles but friends as well. I look forward to meeting you one day soon. Til then I hope you just relax and enjoy being ooo awwed spoiled loved cuddled kissed and hugged every second of the day. Just be your cute little self for you already have ALL of us wrapped around your little fingers and completly in love with you! I am so happy you have arrived. Know just how special it is to call such people mommy and daddy because I know just how special it is to call them friends. I know much lies ahead of you in this life and with a support system that you have been welcomed into this world with that future is as bright as the sun and filled with much love and happiness... Oh the places you will go Baylor Thomas oh the places you will go...

Thursday, October 22, 2009

The Tree of Life

I was standing in a golden field under a bright blue sky filled with puffy clouds (know the kind the ones you would see on the simpsons or the ones the care bears live on somewhere). A field I have driven by each and every time I have ever left or came to Beulah driving on Hwy 49... Yet it was the first time I ever took the time to stop and take in this place I drove straight pass and only enjoyed for a few split seconds...

Lining the field was a tree shelterbelt. A line of trees all of the same kind. Planted all on the same day. Yet now with the leaves falling off exposing its skeleton core and taking a closer look... not a single one of those trees were the same. One grew its branches reaching up to the sky. One fat and plump. Another never made it after a couple of years. One grew out instead of up. One bent over, one split into two, one half falling over, one struck with disease, one half dead... After taking a closer look I realized each one was so very different... Driving pass and taking a glance they all looked the same. But glazin at their true skeleton they were anything but...their goal and purpose was living yet each one had a different growing journey...each one lived their own life adding their own flaws, traits and touches...which in return gave each tree charcter and made each one different.

I thought about that and then how we all have the same purpose and goal ... To LiVE... Simply LiViNG ... yet each and everyone of us lives this life completely different. Just like a row of trees growing in a field there's no right or wrong way of living. We each take our own journey. We each learn thru lessons and failures. We each have our perfection as well as flaws. We each face trials, struggles, heartache, challenges and changes as well as happiness, laughter, love, and success. The very things that makes us different are the very things that gives us charcter and in a way makes us the same.

We all have our own views and opinions yet not a single one of us carries a cheat sheet that gives us the true right anwswers to living this life. We are all simply living...We are all simply trees in a golden field starring up at a bright blue sky filled with puffy clouds... Each of us taking a different growing journey... Each of us just living... I know fully understand the meaning the tree of life... In more ways than just one.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


We all have those places...those moments in our life that help us get away and forget about everything in this world. Where we can retreat to a perfect, loving, happy and safe world.

Some are there when they walk in their front door. Some when they find themselves cooking or baking. Some when they are surrounded by their love ones. Some when they are working on a beat up '75 Ford or hunting down the big buck. Yet others when they are hiking, running, teaching, reading, scrapbooking, sewing, shopping, decorating, driving or praying. We all have those places and moments that can take us away. Most have to drive somewhere or have to be doing something to take them there like baking a cake.... We find ourselves wanting and needing to do such things when the road gets tough and this life gets too much... All I need to do is.. just be still... I close my eyes...

And I am on my grandfather's lap laughing, I am baking cookies with my grandma, I am riding bike with my chidhood friends, I am sitting in a hot tub under the stars dreamin about the future with my childhood best friend brooke, I am building forts in the snow with my brothers, I am watching and feeding the birds with gramps, I am watching old movies with granny,
I am riding in a beat up blue van with my family going everywhere and no where at all, I am in a dorm room stayin up talking all nite with Paula, I am sitting on a deck with my favorite 6th grader-Jami, I am singing along with Barney with Brittaney, I am watchin the Golden Girls with Janelle, I am on the back of a bus late at night coming home from a game with Shannon, Brittany and Emily. I am driving the one ton in the man camps with Lins and Kelcey. I am on a Girls Scout trip with mom, I am cooking with Uncle Brad, I am watching Hannah Montana with Sabrina and Sadey, I am watching Sarah ski down a double diamond swearing at me for tellin her it was a blue, I am sitting on the Packer bench, I am christmas shopping at 3am at Walmart with Becky, I am walking the streets of Boston with Happy Whale, I am causing trouble in Medora with Dana, I am holding Sharlotte for the first time, I am dancin to footloose with Roberto, Wanna and Brother. I am walking with Sounder, Stormy and Kobe. I am in a hs english class with Mr. Swegarden. I am layin in a bed laughing and eating with Dee Dee, I am sitting at my parents table eating and laughing with my family. I am on a road trip with Brother, I am testing Robert-o patience, I am at Buffalo Wild Wings with the Knitting Cirlce, I am on a beach in Australia with my mates, I am with LG at the summit standing in awww, I am coachin a softball game, I am making Mady Kay laugh, I am having a drink with my crazy fun Aunts -Renee and Shelley, I am taking photos with my first camera in NYC, I am on a tiny boat fishing. In a 70's camper sleeping in mid Novemeber. I am at a Leap 27 concert with Bee, I am playin card games with Hyatt at 4am, eating buttered popcorn for breakfast with Aunt Karla, I am walkin the streets of Duluth with the girls, I am hiking glacier-skiing the fish-walking the coast. I am laughing with yalds and al-pal, I am watching the hangover for the 200th time with Mat, I am camping on a June day with the crazy people I call my family...

I am at all the places with all the people that have brought and have given meaning to my life... so when this world gets crazy and when I get to the point where I have had all that I can stand.... I close my eyes... and just be STiLL...

Its a place where every part of me is known... Its a place that I will always be at home... I am at these places with these people on really no big special days at the time... but now looking back those no big deal of days are the ones that mean the very most to me. These are the moments that bring me peace, and give me a place to retreat that are filled with security-love and happiness.... And these very moments are the moments that assure me that life's plan is worth trusting-that this journey will take me to all the places and people I am meant to be... Thank God... I can go there - that I could then, now and still. Thank God...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

i MiSS you, GRANNY

This day comes once a year. And its a day I hate yet celebrate. For she is no longer ill or in pain. Yet she is also no longer here. She was more than just my grandmother.

She was a call on a random Tuesday to talk about nothing special at all. She was a letter once a week during my entire time downunder just to let me know I was loved and missed. She was a hug and a kiss filled with pride and love. She was an example of true strength- faith and love. She was one of my dearest of friends...

You see my grandmother wasn't just a card on my birthday or a visit at the holidays. She was a face I saw every weekend and vacations growing up. She was a voice I heard cheering me and my brothers on in the stands. She was someone who always knew when to write and call. She was kindness. A woman with a gentle and understanding soul. She is someone I long just to hear her voice. She is someone I still search my mailbox for her letters. She is someone I still hope to see when I come to my grandparents house. She is someone I wish I could see standing at the back steps with a big smile waving me hello and goodbye. She is someone I imagine I would be embraced in her loving hugs. She is someone I miss on her birthday, the day she said I do, on christmas-thanskgiving-easter, on a tuesday or a sunday...

I miss her for all reasons and yet sometimes for no reasons at all.... And I know no matter how many years go by... I will only find myself missing her more and more... I miss you, Granny and love you even more!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

holla for my Daddi-o!

Its a pretty special day because a pretty great guy was born on this day. You see this man well he is a good man. A man who leads by his example and not his words. A honest man. A hard working man. A man who can be at times stuck in his ways-but always bends for those he loves. A man who gives and works for his wife and family. A man who is funny and loving. A man that has raised my brothers and I to make sure our last name always stood for such words as honest, kind, loyal, and hard working. A man who called me his Dolly. A man I am proud to call my #1 guy....oh ya and Dad...Happy Birthday Daddi-o!!

Monday, October 12, 2009

a note to her


Friday, October 9, 2009

Running on Faith

Most of the time in life we don't know where the journey will take us but we travel down the road any ways. Some days we don't know if the sun will shine, if it will rain or even snow. But we live thru the day any ways.. Some are told they are sick, ill or even going to die. But we don't know if that will be what takes their last breath from them. We may be told all sorts of unbareable things but we don't realize how capable we are to overcome. We may take news right to the heart but we don't know what lessons and strength can be found in something evil. We may be knocked down and kicked but it will never keep us down forever. The human race has this amazing gift of enduring. Of fighting. Of overcoming. And most of the time they only thing we fight back with is faith.

We have faith that tomorrow won't be the same. We have faith that the tide will turn. We have faith the road will start looking down instead of climbing up. We have faith that the sun will shine. We have faith in a better day ahead. We have faith we will still laugh and smile. We have faith we can beat the unbeatable. We can bare the unbareable. We can endure the unthinkable. We can overcome the impossible.... Because we are capable of such things at all things if we run on faith.

99.9 percent of the time I have well not a clue where I am going. I am just a girl loving this life. I am just a girl trusting her journey. I am just a girl running on faith. and I believe even when I am risking it all by living such a way. Even if I have doubts take make me second guess myself from time to time. I found that I am trusting... I am letting go... And following a path that has been set before me. You will find me most of the time not having answers when it comes to the life I live because I am more focused on embracing this moment now. I am more focused living in this moment, more focused on smiling and laughing and less on where it will all lead me...

I am running on faith that the journey I am on in this life will be worth it each and every step of the way. And in the end how can I ever go wrong with faith as my guide? How can I ever not endure? Not bare? Not overcome?

So many around me are running on faith around me- they are single mothers, cancer fighters, struggling joe's and jane's supporting their children, they are a those who lost a loved one, they are fighting a war overseas...and so many others... If they can look life straight in the eye than we all should be able to in my eyes...All running on faith...

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Take a moment

Today I spent the day with a golden sun and an autumn breeze. With trees decorated with yellow orange and reds. It was a simple fall day...the best kind of day. A day filled with normals and routine. No where special to be yet it was right where I was meant to be at that moment.

I took a moment and looked around... I took a moment and took a deep breath and let the crisp fresh air fill my lungs.... I took a moment and let my eyes take in the colors... I took a moment and let the golden autumn sun warm my chilled skin... I took a moment and just lived in that very moment... I found I took more than a couple of those kinds of moments today... And found that each one was soo different yet carrying the same amount of meaning that made slowing down and living in the moment well worth it.

When was the last time you took a moment? When was the last time you slowed down? When was the last time you just stopped and took a breath? When was the last time you lived in the moment?

It was an everday normal average day... With no special place to go or be... Yet it was a day I know I will always remember. Because it was a day that allowed me to just be... To just breathe... To just smile... To just laugh... To just be in the moment... To just live... After all isn't that was life is all about? Isn't that what gives meaning to a life... How you spend your everyday normal average days? So take a breath. Live in the moment! Enjoy every moment of this life not just the special - important days. They are all worth slowing down for... All of them!

Its never too late to start... Start tomorrow... Start now... Take a moment!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Those people....

We all have those certain few in our lives that stand by us. That never judge us. That accept us for our faults and prized traits. That believe in us when we fail and love us even when we hurt them from time to time. Those select few that know our true smiles and can tell something is wrong by just the tone of your voice. Those who know us in ways that we don't at times even know ourself. They are the ones that define what true friendship is and what sisterhood means.

Yet sometimes these special people take things onto their plates that they don't deserve. We take things out on them because of the very fact we know they will still be there. Which well isn't ever right but it seems to be a part of life. I know I have done it more times than I would like to admit.

I have spent too much of my time caring about people that didn't show me the same. I have spent too much of my time trying to be a friend to some that have never been in return. I have spent too much of my time on the wrong people...its funny when you truly see the light and get it. Its soo simple yet at times so hard to do. I realize I can't change the world nor heal the world in all the lives I would like heck not even all the lives that I want. But try telling that to my stubborn pigheaded self because I still find myself at times trying to go thru a brick wall than be told she wasn't capable of breaking thru. Its alright being that person but not at the expense of the ones that truly matter.

Today I realize that when my time comes I will look back and wish I would have spent less time and energy on the people that really don't matter -the ones I should walk away from- the ones that aren't part of those people that I am blessed to have in my life. I don't want to wish on a someday that I spent more time with them. I don't want to wish I would have shown them how much they mean to me, how blessed I am to have them in my life. I don't want to find myself thinking gosh Michelle, you should have spent more of your time with the ones that bring meaning to your world not those that take it away. Spend more of my time with those that encourage me, believe in me, show me kindness, who love me and befriend me and less with those that either never do anymore or never had.

I am blessed with all sorts of people in my life. Each make up a part of me...but the ones that I am grateful for are those who know my smiles. For those who encourage me and believe in me, thru failure and success. For those who stand by me always, for those who love me just as I am. For those who listen and never judge. For those who help me grow, into the person I am meant to be by just being there and that's all they want...for me to just be there a part of their lives...and the only thing I ask in return of them....those my friend...are the ones that are worth keeping always in your life. Those are the ones that give meaning to this journey we call life....

Friday, October 2, 2009

His light still shines

"There are some who bring a light so great to the world that even after they have gone the light remains."

Today he would have turned 53. I wonder what he would look like. Would he have a head full of gray? I wonder if he still would be coaching and teaching. Would he still be at BHS? Who would he be today?

He has been gone for 10 years, 6 months, 2 weeks and 5 days. Yet at times it seems like just yesterday. There have been so many days I wish I could hear his stories full of guidence wisdom knowledge and advice. So many days I wish I could hear his laugh and feel just at ease in his presence. So many days I wish I could share with him my fears and hopes. Many more days where I wish he could have spent with his wife and daughter. Many more days where I wish he could have created memories with his brothers. Many more days where he could have educated touched and changed another student (s) life. So many days I wish he would have had...3,852 days...oh the things he could have done with those days if given the chance to have them. Yet its a powerful reminder that I have those days and counting to live my life to the very fullest because I simply have the chance to!

Even thou he is gone he still seems to be changing the many lives he left behind. His legacy still shines ever so bright in the lives he touched changed and loved. He was such a simple man who changed so many by just being himself and believing in those around him. He carried hope and faith and knew the rest the big guy would provide. He walked with grace and confidence. And thou at times his legacy might shadow over the life he led here on earth I know still it is a shadow he would always be able to fill. He was not made bigger in is not his legacy that changed so many lives but the life he lived that made the lasting impact. He made so many footprints in the hearts of many but unlike footprints in the sand that can be washed away by the seas of time... His footprints will forever be imprinted in the lives he touched changed and loved.

Happy Birthday Mr. Swegarden. I am positive you are still making a difference. Still smiling. Still laughing and still walking with and grace...I look forward to the day when you meet me at the gates of paradise. You are a man truly missed.