Thursday, April 18, 2013


Its a song we all hear before the start of every professional college or high school game. Its a song filled with history. with respect. with honor and meaning far beyond what a single word is defined by. How often do we hear the lyrics to this beautiful song and well take them - this nation we live in -the freedom that was fought for - the lives that were lost to have that freedom - the cost at what it takes to protect that freedom - the freedom itself for granted. I find it amazing how events like the shootings in Newtown, the bombings in Boston and 9/11 can have such an effect on all Americans coming together as one. That we can put pass our differences and realize what makes this nation so great is the freedom that it allows for us all to be who we are - to not be the same to have different views and opinions and yet are still able to come together as a whole as one as Americans.

There are moments that you are over comed with emotion moved to tears watching the crowd of Boston fans over take the singing of the national anthem makes me proud to be an American. It proves to me that thou the act of terror will change us it will not define us as a coutnry nor will it stunt us from growing or consume us with fear. If anything we will come together and become stronger. This here the voices of 1000's singing with all they got proves this. The good will win. The kindness and strength of doing what is right and just will over take the evil and terror. Today I am proud to be an American. We do not and will not live in fear. We will remember those who have loss their lives and honor them as well as those who have been inflicted with hurt and pain by standing up strong and proud to say we will endure that we will overcome we will come together and be one. We are stronger than the act of terror and rage. We are Americans. WE ARE BOSTON STRONG. And NO ONE or ONES will take that from us.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

When does it END???

I have noticed that in the past few days I have been left with no words. I have been filled with rage and questions. Trying to understand yet finding no understanding at all. This world is filled with enough sorrow. enough pain. the way it is with car accidents, deaths, loss, cancer battles, abuse and neglect. Then we add onto it events like 9/11, Columbia, Sandy Hook Shooting and it doesn't stop there - the list is far too long. Most recently its the double bombings in Boston. My brain can not quite grasp this world we live in the evil that is in it can engulf you. It paints a horror picture of reality and the only grace that can be found in such of an event is to search for the good. Its easy to think evil will over power when such things happen at first but then you see the kindness and humanity of strangers. You see people running towards danger to help and you say to yourself that has to be worth more than the one moment of evil & terror. The goodness has to win. I can't save Boston. I can't bring back Emily, Daniel and their classmates & teachers to their desks at Sandy Hook. But I do know that my kindness towards others counts for something and its something that is very important. Its part of a bigger picture that goes far beyond the eye can see. Good will over power evil by the grace and kindness of us all simply doing more for man kind - more for our neighbor as well as strangers. I don't want evil or terror to change me but I want the stories of those who lived thru that terror to change me and to inspire me to lend a hand to whom ever I can. I want those who lost their lives stand for something that will long live past the terror that took their lives. We can all do more good in this world by not letting such evil stunt our growth or steal our hope in humanity. We can not be robbed of such. We must endure and take a stand that for every act of evil there will be double if not triple the amount of good done. I believe with my heart in soul that there is more love in this world than hate. That when the chips are down my fellow neighbor or stranger will have my back they will be there to help. That there is too much good that evil could never over take us. I will we will never understand this madness of terror and evil but we must continue to spread the good and kindess. We must be the ones that win out in the end.

Thursday, April 4, 2013


"Often the deepest pain which empowers you to grow into your highest self."

Out there sits a girl I know, she may be alot like you or someone you know. She's one of those girls that would do anything for a friend. She's the one that you can always count on - lean on and know will be there. She's got a smile on her face and a skip in her step. She choses to see the best in people even when they have shown her the worse. She believes in doing whats right not just when its easy but esp when its hard. She has a grace about her a calming grace that rubs off on you.You may think she's got it made but if you know her story you realize its all in her attitude. Things in her life have not been easy to say the least a better way to say it is she's been thru hell and back again not once but twice and maybe a third time. She has every reason to be cold to others to think the very worse of what life will bring to her. But she doesn't. During all those moments when she could have given up. Could have throw herself a pity party she chose a different route. She simple decided that she could be tougher. She knows the balance of life and how in order to know true joy she must endure true sorrow. She is wise beyond her years yet has not a clue about that wisdom...She is still well simply her  - who she has always been. She may be covered in scars and is still healing from some but to me those scars bring her beauty. For each scar there was once a wound and with time it healed and add to her life. her story. To me she is more from those scars. those lessons. those tears. those losses. those heartbreaks. those rock bottom moments. Each and every day she makes me proud to have someone that fights for the best that life has to offer even thou she has been dealt more than her fair share of the worse stuff. 

Life has once again punched her hard in the gut and sucked the wind right out of her lungs but I know she is capable of rising once again. She will be broken open and will grow from this time and become MORE....all in her own time grace and style. What I am thankful for is she knows this isn't the worse hell she has had to walk thru...but then again hell has all sorts of levels. Yet I am certain she will take this pain and let it empower her and grow into a higher self....all along making me proud of how she will embark on such a journey. Because of people like her I know they were put on this earth to teach us not by the words they speak but by the actions on they live their life. For she is deteremined not to be lessen or defined by the rock bottom moments life has brought her. She is the master of who and how she becomes. No one but SHE has that power over her life.

"I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become."

Wednesday, April 3, 2013


You ever find yourself waiting... Waiting for the bathroom. Waiting in the check out line. Waiting for concert dates to be announced. Waiting for the fish to bit. Waiting for the store to have your size in store. Waiting for you food to be cooked. Waiting for a paper to be graded. Waiting Waiting Waiting. I hate it simple as that. Well I don't hate it hate it I don't complain while waiting because it does simply no good. But the acutal WAIITNG well it about sucks the life out of me. Sometimes I wish life supplied you with a remote so you can fast forward. stop. or replay...however that is not the case is it...

I get the whole waiting to be surprised thing when you are having a baby...but ot be honest I don't think I could wait...the suspense would drive me crazy...I would go back and forth I am sure for not wanting to know to having to know to finally just NEEDING and HAVING to know. I will admit I do over all well with trust in my journey esp during times that I do not understand it. Yet there are those moments I just want to know...I prolli would fall in that group of people that would want to know how long they have on this earth but then again on a given day that thought may change...I am on the fence about it and prolli will be thankfully its not something I can ever truly 100% find out. I want to have faith in the life I live that will bring me to the places I need to be and I will be surrounded by the people I need to be. Trouble is that sometimes my wants do not match up to my needs. There lies the problem. There are certain things I just want and in a way need badly. And the whole waiting part sometimes over takes me. To the point where I just have to do something get as busy as I possibly can so my mind does not drift in a way i completely forget about it. BUSY i can handle its the part when I slow down and realize I am still waiting that I go crazy with. YET its a fact of life somethings in life we just have to let play out and see how it goes....its annoying. its hard. and its just the way it goes simple. as. that. does blow doesn't it. And the worse part if you aren't careful how you handle such a thing it can swallow you whole it can consume you in stress. worry. fear....and sometimes its all for nothing. Yet with age i am learning to deal with it in a more positive matter....what is that you may ask....oh course OUT of SIGHT OUT of MIND...duh!! The funny truth is as immature and at times as unhealthy as it appears it truly is the best thing you can do.... to put it on the back burned and figure it out with time. Its like that saying goes if your watching and waiting for a pot to boil walk away stop looking at it and the time won't seem like its taking forever. I guess life can be viewed in the same way stop focusing on it...allow your eyes to view other thigns allow your mind to drift and before you know will be done waiting.