Wednesday, September 30, 2009

SO Long...

It was so good to have you here September. I loved spending 30 days with you....and loving every minute of it. You were too kind to me this year!!! And I can't wait til we meet again in 2010. So I wave you goodbye! My favorite month of the year! And just like always you proved to me just by being your loving self why I picked you out of all the months to be my top shelf!

So the James Taylor September Grass comes to an end but not before I have one more listen or maybe 6 and then tomorrow starts October Road another JT favorite.... I have 31 days of October to now celebrate and is good!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

These People...

We all have these people in our lives that ease our pain and calms our fears. People who blow the winds of hope and faith back into our sails. People who sit by our side to hold our hand when no words can be found. People who laugh with us and make us smile. People who make us realize that the storm will pass. People who shine their light into the darkness like a lighthouse settled on a cliff. People who spend their moments with us. People who end up making our lives and giving our lives meaning. These special people ask for nothing yet you always find them standing by when you need them. These people show you kindness, understanding and tender care. These people will share a cold one with you on an everyday nite. These people you tend to find them everywhere you look in your life.... Your family. Your friends. Your co-workers. And yes sometimes even strangers.

Remember to value these people. Remember to show them they mean soo much in your life. Remember never to take them for granted. Remember life can change in one single moment and they may no longer ever be there. So don't raise your voice with hurtful words you can never take back. Say thank you. Say I am sorry. Forgive. Say I love you. Say to these people just what they mean to you and to have them in your life. They are worth speaking such words and they deserve hearing such words.

For not everyone has such people in their lives remember that! So hold them close. Protect them. And never let them go.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Moments of Darkness

Sometimes I catch myself drifting back to then... To moments in my life that I will never forget and others I wish I could but never seem to be able too. Moments of success, of failure, of happiness, of sorrow, of growth, of struggle, of fears and of course dreams. I think of all that has been. All that I have accomplished and yes even those that I have fallen short in failure. I think of friends that I have lost and in the same breath gained. All of the trimuphs, struggles, stumbles and overcoming it took me to be in this very moment.

All the moments of my life prepared me to handle whatever comes next. All of the moments of my life have lead me to this person that I now am. All the moments of my life helped me become and will continue to help me grow into who I am meant to be. Its not just moments of sunshine and success that has helped me but my greatest strength was found in my darkest moments... Moments where I wasn't quite sure what would be. Moments where I felt for sure I would never see the clouds part. Moment where I wanted to throw in the towel. Moments where I didn't believe I could... For those were the moments that proved to me that I was capable. That I could and I would overcome. Those were the moments that I found I grew the most. Moments of my life that all I could see was let downs and failures lead the way to overcoming and trimuph in the journey in what would be.

I am not one that would chose darkness over light but if it wasn't for that very darkness I know I would never be close to the person I am today. I know that if it weren't for my dark moments I would never have been force to grow or to step up. So in a big way I am thankful for those moments where I was surrounded by darkness. I may not be pleased at the time where I find myself just there, but in the end the lessons I learn and the growth and strength I have gained make it worth it.

The trick is to remember to hold on! And to remind yourself this too shall pass and that tough times don't last but tough people do. So the next time you find yourself in the darkness remember... You are strong! You can overcome! This moment will pass and you will grow from it! And most importantly remember that all the strength you ever need already lies in you! You are a fighter!! And this darkness is just a small stop on the journey of becoming who you are meant to be!!!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Fall Escape...

We all have those things in our lives that provide us with the relaxation we need to escape from this life from time to time. Some go shopping, some fish, some go to spas, some go to europe, some bake or cook, some sew, some build, some paint, some read, some hunt, some the list goes on and on... My escape involves one simple thing and I am there... My nikon camera.

I have been looking forward to my Fall Escape... Duluth Minnesota and the North Shore... and escaped just what I did. Lost for endless hours capturing the world that surrounds me. No worries no stress no questions... Nothing was asked of me and I asked nothing in return. It was me and nature and I found we breathe as one. Oh what a joy to slip away... To escape. It recharges the batteries. It restores the energy. Builds up my hope and faith. Just what is needed when I find myself lost or worn down or well just simply perfect or doing fine.

So I ask... What is your escape... and more importantly what will be your fall escape... you still have time!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Start

Today was the day, the official day of the start of something new. I don't know quite sure where I am going, where it will lead or just what's in store for me... But I am confident its something great.... Something just for me. It may not be a path that leads me to the jackpot or a forever love... But I know it will be no less than anything I have ever hoped for...

The future its a scary thing from time to time. Esp when you go out on a limb and do something as crazy as I like think that maybe just maybe this photography is something I should really buckle down and do. People say it like its no big deal for me to do just that... Yet I am no fool and I am positive when I do do it... It will be on my terms. No one else. I have come too far to cave in now right??

I took a big step in the last couple of days but am no where close to the finish line...much still needs to be done. But well I look back and think of all that has been and where just I came from. For I was just a girl taking a picutre here and there and one day found herself taking the wedding photos, baby photos, senior photos, family photos and so much more. I was just a girl lost behind her lens.. Heck I am still a girl that gets lost behind her lens. I guess just more people are realizing it.

So tonite I want to take the time and say thank you.... For those who believed in me before I even dared... People like Erica and Aaron... My very first professional wedding. And soo many that followed that believed in me when I never quite did... I am still working on it. Yet I know I have so much growing and learning to do... But I still thank you. For its your hope your faith and your belief in my that fuels my willing to never quit. To never stand still to challenge myself always.... Thank you. For you are the driving force behind Kaye Gold photography.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Tonight it became official... A little excited, a little scared, a little nervous, a little proud....

Its not just the way that I would like it yet, much work still needs to be done but its a place that can store all my photos and better yet a place that my photos can be purchased and the best part....i don't have to lift a finger. So check it out... view, browse and shop around. And remember it will be changing and changing so come back for more.


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Washed Clean

Its a brand new day. The batteries are recharged. The attitude is cleared. The rain washed the soul clean. The smell is clean and fresh after a night of hearing one of if not my favorite sound ever....RAIN... It drifted me away to a peaceful sleep. Where I was able to let it all go....I no longer carry the heavy load that life tends to pack on from time to time. It feels so refreshing and almost calming to let it go... Try it... Worries stress let downs disappointments... Its not worth carrying.... LET it GO... Life will find a way to work itself out if you only have the courage and faith to let it... Here's to a refreshed recharged day! Hope you are enjoyin it each in your own way.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Give and Take

Maybe its because its Monday, maybe its because the rain is coming down, maybe its because I got swamped at work, maybe its because what I read or is it don't read on facebook. I am guessing since I love Mondays, rain and being busy it must be the last.

Do you ever try with people, or is it you always find yourself trying with some people and well you find that you are the only one covering ground or you have found yourself walking down a one way street instead of a two way. I realize that we have no control over others, and only can control our actions, thoughts and words. I don't mind walking alone or pulling most of the weight when it comes to some of the relationships I have in my life. But there are days where I just have enough. I find myself tired. And wondering why do I even care. I wish I didn't. I wish I could put the same amount of effort or caring as some people do. Because maybe I wouldn't feel so let down right now. I don't need to be showered with attention or flattered with love and words. Just not being ingored would do. Just meeting someone half way would be great.

Like everyone else in this life I take things for granted and people for granted at times. I try as hard as I can not to, esp on purpose. I know life = busy. Yet in the same breath if I can find the time or make the time I feel like others should as well... If its important or it means greatly to you ... you always find the time or make the time. Maybe my down fall is that I make the time and find the time for people who aren't willing to do just that... Its the people who never budge, who I have issues with... not the ones that do it from time to time... because I am just as guilty of that once in awhile.

So don't ingore someone, don't make someone always walk a one way street, don't aspect them to always carry the load. Don't take someone for granted. For one day that person who you always thought would be there, won't be. All relationships require give and doesn't matter if its a love relationship, a friendship...its all relationships you have. So take a breath and think.... as I need to as well... Am I giving ... Am I taking... Or Am I doing both equally...

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Miss. J

We all have those teachers, that well stand out. We all have those teachers who we tried at times not to let them know how much we liked them, when they had us in class. We all have those teachers who touched our lives and made a lasting imprint. When I think back on my childhood education, I have realize that I was pretty blessed to have such teachers, more than once. I could write about all of them, but this weekend I ran into my 6th grade teacher, Miss. Johnson. Seeing her helped bring back so many great memories. So naturally she's the teacher I'm talking about today.

I sat in Miss. Johnson's class 16 years ago... hard to imagine. But seeing her, it seems nothing has changed... Other than her last name from Miss Johnson to Mrs. Schaeffer. For she looks just as she did when I sat in her classroom, her hugs are the same, her kindness, and her beaming happiness are all just as I remembered. Talkin to her she claims I ran her classroom. She's prolli right but I don't really remember that. I just remember being comfortable around her and in her classroom. Which I have found thats what I need to succeed and to try again and again if well actually when I fail. In a very big way because I was provided that foundation in her classroom it gave me more confidence to just be me, to try as hard as I can and to work as hard as I can... and that would be all I need... She would take care of the rest. I know my class and myself were a bit out of control, but we loved being her students and we respected her as our teacher. I can't speak for the impact she made on my classmates but I can for the lasting difference she made in my life. She was the teacher that made each second of learning fun, even the challenging times. Which prolli won my complete respect right there.

I know I was a handful and a challenge many days and prolli too many times to count. But somehow she could always reach me, help me understand and learn. She never stop challenging me to learn and grow. I know it wasn't easy... Learning was well, never an easy thing for me, but she didn't give up on me...nor did she allow myself to give up. Those are the kinds of teachers that help change the world. Those of the kind of teachers that lay the foundation for people to be successful in life as well as in education. I couldn't tell you all that I learned from her regarding 6th grade education. But I can tell you that my journey in life and how I am as a person would be altered in a vast matter that I am sure of, if I never sat in her classroom. In 6th grade the last thing you see is a kid knowing the impact a teacher has on their life. I know I didn't say it or show it to Miss. Johnson then, to let her know just how grateful I was to be one of her students. Yet I have come to find out that there is no expiration date on such things. So I say it here and now... THANK YOU... for all you did... THANK YOU... for believing in me, for encouraging me, for supporting me, for not letting me give up, for not giving up on me and well on most days just putting up with me... THANK YOU... for laying a solid foundation on which I could grow upon.... THANK YOU... for showing me I did have wings--I just had to have the courage to use them... THANK YOU... for putting up with my troubled, challenging, wild and out of control ways at times. for always pushing me challenging me and knowing I could and will learn it-get it-reach it and understand it.... THANK YOU... for so many little things that made a big difference in my life... THANK YOU....It is true that some students----teachers remember forever... then it can also be said that some teachers----students remember forever.

Friday, September 18, 2009

MaDy KaY

I took in a special game tonite... A game that didn't charge at the door- nor was there a sightin of a famous star. For she's even bigger than that. I watched my cousin and godchild Madysen Kay hit the volleyball court. I couldn't believe it because it was almost 13 years ago that Mady came to my volleyball was the first time I got to hold her. (Seeing her the day she was born but not being able to hold her sucked- due to a health problem.) I couldn't believe that my Mady is in junior high and now playing volleyball.

She's pretty quiet these days. Like a typical teen she's worried about all sorts of things... Doesn't want to make a mistake... What she doesn't know is just how special she is. Just what a rockstar she is. Just how great she is!!! With time and growth she will become someone she is comfortable being and confident in being... Right now she's just testing the waters. I know this life will take her on one heck of a journey. It will be filled with ups and downs twists and turns. I don't know what will be for her... But I do know it will be a life that will lead her to all the people and places she's meant to be and have in her life. It will lead her to the lessons and growth she needs to help her become just who she's meant too be!

Almost 13 years....its been a quite a ride already. For her and for me... Me learning she is no longer the baby or just a kid...but now a teenager. Her learning all about life. I hope she knows its okay not to fit in. Because she fits in where it counts the most... With her family. I hope she knows she has all the strength she needs to succeed. I hope she knows she is perfect just the way that she is and will be. I hope she knows just how special, just how smart, just how beautiful, just how great she is! And above all I hope she knows just how proud I am of her...and just how loved she is by me and her family.

I can't wait to watch you grow and become! For I know much greatness will be in store for you and for us to see as you make you way thru this life! And one more thing you will always be Mady Kay no matter how old you grow to be. You will always be just as special to me as you were the very first time I saw you... And the very first time I held you... I am proud of you, Madysen Kay... Now and always!!!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Did you

Today...its a perfect time to do all you need to do. Its the perfect time to do and say what truly matters...what truly counts.

Today...did you say I love you. Did you say you make a difference in my life. Did you say you changed my whole world. Did you say I am sorry. Did you say I forgive you. Did you say thank you. Did you say I am proud of you. Did you say you helped me, you believed in me, you make me feel special, you let me know I matter....

Today did you tell the people in your life the things you feel. The things that matter. The things we find ourselves wishing we would have when life takes a turn for the worse. Where we find ourselves wishing for a day like today to tell the ones that make our world just how important they are in our world.... Just so they know. Don't waste a day like today when you have the chance... Never let a day slip by... Say the words while you still have the chance. They mean just as much now as they ever will. Give a kiss. Give a hug. Say I love you. Say thank you. Say I am sorry. Say I forgive you. Say you matter.

Today...Did you!?....

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Steps Up

How can some be so good at being cold? How can some carry so much hate and pain around with them. How can some never forgive or in the same breath ask for forgiveness? How can some be soo stubborn? How can some think they are so busy with life...only they aren't living it. How can some not see what has always been right in front of them. How can some never find the time but always has the time to do the things that really don't count in the end. How can some speak such hurtful and rude words. How can some well just be... We all have people like this in our lives or at least know of this person in someone else's life... I constantly find myself wondering how can a person be so rude. How can a person who acts in such a manner be proud of who they are.

We all have our days. We all say things at times that well leave us with open mouth insert foot... But for most its rare and it takes a bad day for us to show such rudeness to the people in our lives and the strangers that pass thru it. I have been known to be such a way every once in awhile but well you have a better chance of seeing pigs fly than seeing me be such a person... And if I am such a perso without knowing I hope someone calls me out on it asap.

I don't want to be rude. I don't want my words or actions to ever cause hurt or pain in someone else's life. I don't want to be stubborn when it comes to forgivness...I don't want to hold onto hurt pain or anger. Why keep openin a wound when it can heal. Why not forgive learn move on and grow than to stand still. Its hard to face ourselves when we have done wrong and we know it... But its true growth as a person when you still have the courage to look in the mirror. When you be the bigger person esp when its not you who has to be. When you forgive esp when you have been deeply hurt. When you say your sorry and truly mean it knowin there's a good chance that your words won't change a thing. When you face your problems instead of hiding from them. When you take control of your life- when you take responsiblity for your actions and words at all cost. When you show kindness even when they don't deserve it.

Its not easy being the person that does what is right when you so badly want to play the eye for an eye game. So you close your eyes and take a deep breath and let the control you desire to have over the situation slip out of your hands and into the hands that know the true way. You take a deep breath and let faith wash the hurt away. When you don't know what to do you listen for the one who knows just where to lead you speak to you. You take a deep breath and trust your journey...and realize its not about havin control of the wheel of life whether its your life or another' can't make others see what is right in front of them nor can you make them speak the words you want to hear... Life isn't meant to be controlled. Life isn't meant to carry anger hurt and pain like a travel luggage. Life isn't meant to always be never is! You can't learn and grow if you are. I don't understand people sometimes and well just like life maybe I am not suppose to understand. Maybe I am just suppose to trust my journey and trust just like there's a reason-a lesson for me being around such things...there's a reason-a lesson for those "some people"... For its their journey that is leadin them to the people they are meant to be thru endless life lessons... And maybe just maybe its me who has to step up for them to learn how to be a bigger person... And maybe just maybe this world would be a bit better off if we all decide to be that person who steps up...

Open your EYES

In just a few weeks I will be making a trip to see the Fall season up in Duluth. I will be taking in the colors and the landscape that lies before my eyes. And yes of course I will be photographing every second of it. I can't wait. I am already losing myself in the photo world that I slip into when I find myself in the zone. I can't wait to get lost in my own world. Surrounded by simply nature! Being anywhere outside where everywhere you turn there is something of beauty...and most of the time its completely free to take in. All I need is my camera and well depending on the weather maybe a sweater.

I look forward to hearing one of my top five sounds the rustle of leaves as you walk... I will make sure my SD cards are empty and my camera battery fully charged because I know each second of the day will be an adventure. In the midst of Mother Nature and her paradise.... Who wouldn't want to take in such a sight. And the best thing bout such a sight is that you can find it just outside your door... You don't even need to go somewhere. You just have to open your eyes to her beauty.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Fallen for Fall

How can shades of brown and greens be soo pleasin to the eye with touches of yellow red and orange? How can a blue sky filled with puffy clouds provide the perfect contrast to make the classic Fall day? Its a world of color... A season of color. How may I ask you haven't you fallen for Fall yet? I seem to find myself falling each and every time I find myself outside...I hope you do too!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


Hands down my love for September was shown in today's perfect Fall day. It wasn't hot hot...the was a cool was in a word perfect today. I loved every minute of being able to spend my day outside!!

Today reminded me just how important it is to live in the moment. To live for this day not yesterday or tomorrow but right now. Nothing need not to happen for me to realize this... I didn't need to have a near death moment or an emotional roller ride for me to change my view or style of living... It was because Today was an average normal everyday sort of day for me... The kind of day that makes up the days and moments of my life... And by living in the moment by living for today I was able to make the best of my moments thru out this 9-9-9... I hope somewhere you too find yourself living in the for ToDaY

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Sharlotte Marie

This weekend I spent my time with the family. We all met in Fargo, to golf, chat, eat, and drink. We gathered together to laugh, to smile, to love and of course make some memories. We would have loved to spent the Labor Day Weekend on the Lake and sleeping under the stars. BUT we had something more important to do. We baptized Sharlotte Marie Koch on Sunday, and officially welcomed her into the church and into this world. She was striped of her clothes and dunked into the holy water, quite a moving sight... yet she didn't think so....SHE HATED IT.

As I held her in my arms, I am never left not amazed. She is perfect. Even though she had a little break out on the face.... it doesn't matter, her family, me included can't get enough of her. As I stood beside her parents and sisters, and promised to be a role model for her in faith and in life, I blinked back a tear or two, for I know just how important my role in her life will be, not just because she is my godchild and I am her godmother, but because of the relationships I already have with her two older sisters...In their eyes I am a super hero. I am the wild crazy fun loving cousin who takes them to Clay your Way to paint, or to Beads on Broadway to make the perfect braclet. The cousin who takes them to Hollister and Aero for the latest fashion. The girl who shows up out of the blue to take you on a special day for no reason. Sabrina and Sadey don't love me because of all the things I do with them, or all the places I take them or might buy them...but because I am there. I am constant. I am an example not by my words but my my actions. I show them respect and give them love. We laugh. We smile. We love. We live. Something I know I will do just that with, with Sharlotte. I take my role in the lives of my younger cousins very seriously. For there are many eyes that watch me, even when I don't think they can see me or hear me. And its through those very eyes that help me grow into more, grow into the person I have always been meant to be. Thou the example may be hard to set, the reward of the love and happiness I share with those that came after me...make it completely worth it!

Sharlotte little monkey...I promise that I will always be someone you can laugh with, smile with. Someone who will spoil you but also teach you. Someone who will love you even if you are being a little monster. Someone who you can always come to about anything, everything or nothing. Someone who will pray for you. Someone who will try their very best to be a role model for you not only in faith but in life. I can't promise I will be perfect. but I can promise I will always be there. Someone who is a constant in your life even if I am far away. The very same promise I made when I made it to your cousin Madysen Kay when she was batized...I now have two girls to help guide the ways for you both to LOVEthisLIFE.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


Life is full of surprises. Full of twists and turns. Ups and downs. It has a plan all of its own and most of the time the plan doesn't go along with the one we had in mind. It can be kind as it can be cruel. It can be full of sunshine and warmth as it can be cold and dark. Its untrackable and it can go from being simply glorious to simply terrible.... Without a moments notice.

Its filled with suffering, pain, hate and death. But also with that overcoming, healing, love and birth. We try so hard to understand life and its course. We plea with it and even try to bargain with it but it makes no difference it will go where it wants to go and do what it pleases. Because it has things for us to learn and gain strength from. For its the very things that breaks us that brings us the strength we need to overcome... To keep living.

Its so much easier to see the negative in life. Its easier to be consumed by the pain and hurt. Its easier to give up. Yet in a world full of darkness I seek to find the light. In a world full of tears I seek to find laughter and smiles. In a world full of hate I seek to find love. For who's to say what will be if you choose to stay positive. If you choose hope. If you choose love. If you choose life!

You can't change the way most things are. You have no real control over this life and its outcome. You can't control death, sorrow, pain and darkness. You can't control others' destiny or the journey they take to get there... You can control how you react to things and how you view things. And in the end maybe that's all you really need to do! To let go and let life do its thing and to trust that Life's plan is much better than the one you had in mind.

Its not easy to always be hopeful or to remain positive. Its not easy to see the glass of life always half full... It takes a strong person grounded in their faith in life to stay such a way... I have been blessed to be in such company with such people. Life took the very best of them it seemed but they didn't faulter in their faith in life. They still saw the beauty in life even in the darkness. We must all see the beauty in life's darkness and the lessons we learn and the strength we gain...from not only the light but darkness of this life.

A wise man once said we can't take any of this with us when we go only the memories, love and lessons will be our travel we might as well make the best of every part of this journey in life...we might as well choose hope over despair. Healing over pain and hurt. Love over hate. Smiles and laughter over tears...and life over death..

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


It's here... The first of 30 days... of my favorite time of the year... of my favorite month of the year. Its a month of me endlessly listening to September Grass by James Taylor followed by me endlessly listening to October Road when October rolls around.

I love this time of the year where you can still have the windows and doors open. Where at night you need just a little more cover because you refuse to close the windows. I love being able to wear hoodies and sweaters. I love seeing the colors change around me... I am excited for the days to come. Most hold onto Summer never wanting to part from it... The un-normal one over here will give it up in a heartbeat if I could have Fall (a honest fall that is... you know the way its suppose to be) all year around.

So go outside and breath it all in!!! Live in the moment!! And above all else... LOVEthisLIFE.