Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Birthday Shout Out

It seems April is a month of births, today its my not so litte - little brother's birthday. So of course I had to take a moment and give a birthday shout out to Jacorian. I hope your day is filled with fun and sun. In the words of our cousin Brittaney 'please stay alive.' LOL. No matter what you do today - who you are with or where you are at know that you have many who care and love you. Many who think you are simply the best. We are proud of you, Red. I look forward to celebrating with you, when I arrive home. Til then take care of you. Olive Juice!!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Birthday Shout Out {part II}

Jamie Nemmers-Petrie this birthday shout out is for YOU. May today bring you simple blessings to let you know the gift you are each and everyday to all those around you and all those who love you. I am grateful to call you, my friend. I am grateful to have such a loyal, trusting, caring and kind friend. In our knittlin' circle of friends you bring your love and friendship to us all, by simply being you - you make us all better. Yea it may be just an average everday day for you today, but know that you are far from average. May you be blessed with many smiles, laughs and above all love today. Have a rockstar day, my friend.

Birthday Shout Out {part I}

It is a must to give my Aunt Renee a birthday shout out today. She's a pretty special lady. A gal with a smile on her face and always willing to share a laugh. Family gatherings are always a hoot when she's in the room. She's silly, crazy, wild, fun, caring, kind and loving. She's in love with the great outdoors and horses. She's always making time for the people that matter to her most, her family. And oh do we love her so. So today Aunt Renee I hope you know just how proud we are. how grateful we are. how blessed we are. To have YOU in our lives.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Mother Nature

Waking up to over a foot of snow on my doorstep wouldn't be my dream come true, but thats what I found this morning. Oh the joys of living in Montana and on top of a mountain. I usually don't complain about such an event BUT with the slopes closed for the season I am willing to throw in my two cents. I welcome this Novemeber to April 10th BUT if it doesn't fall in between those dates PLEASE MOTHER NATURE turn that snow into rain. Yet Why am I not surprised by this, after all that's life in a nut shell, never truly going how you planned or dreamed. Sometimes it ends up worse but sometimes if we are willing to put up with alittle snow it just might turn out better than we ever planned or dreamed. HANG in there, Spring will surely fully be here soon.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Keep Breathing

I awoke to the news of the passing of one of my friends' family members. It is in those moments life is hard. It is in those moments you find yourself struggling to grasp and understand. It is in those moments we find oursevles wishing we had just one more day one more moment. It is in those moments that life just doesn't seem fair. It is in those moments the very life in us seems to be sucked out of us. It is in those moments we wonder how - how we will ever get pass this loss. How will we ever live life the same. The truth is death is life's biggest lesson for those that remain. The person leaving us will be granted the understanding in all the questions that we now hold. It is hard to lose someone. It is hard to truly imagine a world where you can no longer see their smile, hear their laugh, feel their touch. It is hard to grasp that you can search every inch of this earth and never find that being. So what do you do... what do we do in that moment. It is simple and yet hard... all we can do... all you can do ... is keep breathing. Keep breathing. You will catch your breath soon. Life and living will come back to you. You have more strength than you know. You will get thru this moment and then the next. It may not be all fairy tales and happily ever afters but I promise you - you will get thru these hard times and you will wake up one day and find the sorrow a little less. You will one day be able to think of your loved one with a smile and not a tear. You will one day. Til then just keep breathing. JUST BREATH. JUST BREATH. no words. no actions. no questions. no answers. KEEP BREATHING.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Settle Down

"There is a place where I belong. And I have seen its field and streams. They have been revealed in my dreams... I must keep traveling on. To find the place where I belong. And if I travel 'til the day I die, I'll make my home somewhere far beyong the sky... 'Cause you see I cannont settle down. There's just too much left unfound. I keep drifting like a cloud. On the wind..." -Peter Bradley Adams Lyrics from a song that well speaks to me. We are all different. We are all dreaming different dreams. We are all living different lives. We are all un-normal. Having these different traits makes us all human. All the same. All bonded together by the simple fact we are each breathing and living. There's no right way or wrong way just simply each our own way. I may be a lost soul. an old soul. a wandering soul. I have different dreams. I have different goals for my life. Just as I hope you do for your life as well. Maybe not all are meant to 'settle down' - Settle down... each has its own meaning for that two word saying. Settle down to me is staying still. Living a life with no change. Living the same day over and over. I look at the world and all of its possiblities and I am consumed with dreams ideas goals. My biggest challenge is deciding just what I want and need to do. Out there lies so many lessons to learn, life to experience, love to give, people to meet... So in many ways 'I cannot settle down.' There's just too much left unfound. I wish that none of you settle down as well. Continue to grow. to learn. to become. Embrace the life and world around you. Give. Love. Explore. Live. This world has too much to offer than to just stand still.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Life is Beautiful

"Life is Beautiful. But its complicated, we barely make it. WE DON'T NEED TO UNDERSTAND. There are miracles, miracles. Our hearts, they beat & break. STAND - where you are. We let all these moments pass us by. It's AMAZING where I am standing. There's a lot that we can GIVE. It's just ours for a MOMENT... LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL." -Vega4 We live each day with no thought really ever given. When was the last time you realized just the gift it was to live this day, to have this moment. Your lungs are filling with air and your heart is beating... This is a gift. Our life is made up of these simple everyday moments. Have you stopped and realized just how powerful these moments are. Just how much meaning is found in these simple everyday moments? For these moments hold the story of your life. Sometimes life can consume us with sorrow and with happiness. We often don't stop and think. Sometimes we are so busy trying to find our way in life we often don't realize its not about the way or where we are going but more importantly how we are traveling along this journey. I use to believe we all had a life calling but the simple truth is is this living is your true life's calling. Its not about what you do, who you are with, where you are at its about how you are living. How are you spending your moments??? You see when I reach the end of my journey here - I want to find myself saying 'it's amazing where I am standing.' I want to reflect back on a life well lived, filled with mistakes. failures. lessons. growth. heartache. love. tears. laughter. and so much more... I want to stand there completely empty because I filled every moment that I was given with as much life as I had possible to ever give. I want to stand there utterly satisfied with the life I had been given and how I took that gift of breathing & living and made it worthly of having. We are not here to understand. We are not here to try and make sense of things and how things happen in our life. I believe a place far from here is where we find understanding. Here ... we are here to live. to grow. to change. Life is beautiful... it truly is. So make it a point to slow down. to stop and think of the gift you were given to have this moment. Don't waste the gift of life - its moments are something we will never get back. So whatever moment you are finding yourself in ... moments of sorrow. of struggle. of failure. of growth. of change. of happiness. of tears. of laughter. of success. of overcoming. of birth. of death. of love. of heartache. whatever moment you are in. Just take a breath. Take another. and realize this moment doesn't last forever. Know with without a doubt life is beautiful. Sometimes it shows us its true colors and sometimes we have to search to see it... But trust me its always there. For as long as you are here. As long as your lungs are filling with air and your heart is beating... you are being given the gift of living... .. . LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Birthday Shout Out

Heather Hyatt this Birthday Shout Out is for YOU. Happy Birthday to one of my favorite people in this world. I hope today you are filled with blessings that make you realize the gift you are to so many. I know my life wouldn't be the same if you were never apart of it. A big space in my life and heart would go empty... How sad it would be if I didn't get to call you my friend. Thankfully its something I will never have to know. Your the gal I want sitting next to me when I am having a cold beer (with a pickle or olives depending on the mood). Your the gal that I love a road trip with because we both like the same music. Your the gal that I like having mad at me or letting me get mad at you - its in the moment and we move on. Your the gal thats all about being up for anything and everything which makes just having fun always easy. Your the gal that always speaks the truth. Your the gal that can be counted on. Your the gal I am grateful to call my friend. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRIEND

Sunday, April 10, 2011


"The modern fairy tale ending is the reverse of the traditional one: a woman does not wait for Prince Charming to bring her happiness; she lives happily ever after only by refusing to wait for him - or by actually rejecting him. It is those who persist in hoping for a Prince Charming who are setting themselves up for disillusionment and unhappiness."

"SHE discovered SHE had been the one SHE had been waiting for..."

Some might feel sorry for me, or have some dream for me that I have yet to possess. Because you see I'm single, and I don't strive to go out in life in quest of finding someone to spend the rest of my life with. I am open to such a path if that is what life presents but this is not my life's quest. I am determined to live my life in this very moment and not wait for someone to walk into my life to begin living. I believe in someone to share in this journey with, to love to support and all that jazz but I also refuse to believe that my life is less if no such a person is found. Maybe I am stubborn, to not settle, to not go in quest of finding. Maybe I am naive to think and fully believe the only person that truly completes you is you, yourself. Yea, I believe people around you make you better, they make a difference but in the end the one that feels, that lives, that grows, that changes, that accepts, that loves, that breaths is in fact YOU. I could sit around and feel all sorry for myself because I don't have the ring, the house, the kid but the truth is those are dreams and hopes for a different life that is not mine. Maybe that life will be mine someday maybe it won't. What I know is that I won't waste the life I have been given right now in this moment, waiting. No one, I don't care who you are waiting for... is actually worth waiting to live your life. Happiness is a state of mind, thou others can bring sparks of happiness into your life, it is up to you to keep that flame lit.

"I don't need a man to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we'll ever have is the one with ourselves."

"Being single is getting over the illusion that there is somebody out there to complete you and taking charge of your own life."

Who I am will not change by whether or not I am in a relationship. Who I am is not based on one single person in my life. I am changed by each person I meet and cross paths with. I am better and more because I allow all to affect my being and the growth of that being. Who I am is not about who I am with but where I am going in this life with all those around me. For I love and I am loved. I care and I am cared for. My life isn't missing some piece to the puzzle of happiness in this moment. I am fulfilled, I am content - well about as content as I can or ever will be. I am confident in the life journey that I am on, and I am positive just like it always has done in the past it will lead me to all the places and to all the people I am meant to be at and with.

"You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere."

"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them."

Thou my dreams and hopes are different than most, they aren't graded as any less. For my mission and goal in life is to LIVE. I am in quest of truly living this life and making each person I meet - each place I go better than what I first found it to be. I am here to learn about such things as compassion, humanity, grace, understanding and integrity in hopes I can truly make a difference and make my life count. Just as my dreams have grown and changed over the years I change and grow as a being with them. For yes when I was five or ten I dreamed of Prince Charming and the white wedding - the bus load of kids. But sometimes if were lucky bigger and better dreams come true in our lives. One day we wake up and reflect on all the things we have been able to do, all the places we have seen, all the people we have met, all the life experiences we have been able to feel see and live. And you find yourself with a full understanding and acceptance that we can't have it all, we are never meant to have it all. I refuse to sacrifice my moments of happiness and just life in general waiting. No one is worth the wait. No one is worth missing out for what this world and life has to offer. So whether you are with someone or not - realize that you are the seeker and the holder of your life's happiness. And you have a choice each and every day - every second every moment every breath to be happy or not. Don't let someone be the master - the driver -the giver or the taker in your life. Steer and live your own journey, allow people to influence to support to encourage to love to change you as you go but be the commander of your fate your destiny your journey your life. Your life is a gift don't waste it by waiting.

"Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with."

Besides you just may be waiting for yourself to say this...

"My knight and shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil."

Friday, April 8, 2011


"I found Rome a city of bricks & left it a city of marble." Isn't that what life is all about leaving each place you go each person you part from better than what you found it to first be? This has been my mission since I don't know when. To find myself in a place where I have the simple power and the honor to make it better. Can you even imagine what this world would be if every single person strived to bring their best to each place each person. Could you even imagine if we set out not to better ourselves but better the human race and the world around us what kind of world we would then be living in. I am firm believer that if you put others before your own personal gain you will be rewarded in way you can never even imagine. I dare you to take the high road, I dare you to be the friend you wished you had, I dare you to show compassion kindness and understanding in a moment where it is so easy to judge. I dare you to be the leader and take a different path. I dare you to find a place with bricks and leave it with marble. I dare you to live life in a way where the world around you and the human race will be changed by you being a part of it. You hold the power... we each hold the power to change this world and to make this place and each person better. You hold the power and its up to you to decide what you will do with that power.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

NO maybe's

I have spent the last two days engulfed by Whitefish Montana and skiing the fish. After snowing a fresh 6 inches, I was biting at the bit to grab my K2's and take some turns. It was an epic day, the weather was not April like at all, in fact it felt like it was Mid- Winter not Spring. If I wasn't on a mountain I prolli would have found myself saying... really SNOW... But here its winter paradise and we hold onto that white fluffy stuff as long as we can, or at least til closing day. For that day after we pray for a 95 degree day and melt our winter paradise away so we can bike, run and hike. Its all or nothing here you see... We want the snow as long as we can ride, play and ski in it and as soon as the season comes to a close we want it to go away as fast as possible. Only to find ourselves counting the days til the next winter season that will find us in winter paradise once again. Life is really just that simple here. No need for drama. No need for complications. We are here to live - to breath and to have fun doing it. And maybe just maybe there's a secret to that success found in a little map dot town that is found amongst the mountains. Maybe just maybe life is different here. No maybe's about it... IT IS.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Welcome Anastasia Renee Maruska

I am happy to say that the Goldmann family grew by one with the birth of a new little one at 5pm eastern time on 4/3/11. Travis and Sedie Maruska welcomed their second child, Anastasia Renee (named after my aunt - Travis's mom Renee). Shortly after her brith she met her big brother, Vlad. She is in a word PERFECT. LIFE IS GOOD. We are sending our love to Boston, MA and awaiting to see - meet - spoil - cuddle and give endless love to this beautiful little girl. Of course I will also be blinding her with my flash but well that's just a given.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Prepare & Adjust

"We spending our whole lives worrying about the future. Planning for the future. Trying to predict the future. As if figuring it out will showhow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain, when it finally reveals itself, the future is never the way we imagined it." I often find myself at times waiting for the future. Planning. Dreaming. Hoping. Wishing. But here is the truth.. the dirty truth. You can plan, dream, hope and wish but most often than not the future never turns out the way you imagine it. Sometimes it turns out completely terrible and sometimes it turns out even better than you ever could imagine it. This life is about one thing, living. And I have found you can plan your future day by day moment by moment or you can chose to just live it as it comes. Prepare and adjust to changes, challenges, and struggles as they come. You can chose to sit back and wait - wait to have the college loan - house loan - car loan to be paid off. Wait to retire - wait to get the perfect job - house - mate. wait... wait... wait... But the thing about waiting is... something will always come up to make you keep waiting. The time will never be perfect. The fact is this life isn't meant to be perfect. So you might as well stop wasting your time til it is perfect. This is your life happening now. In this moment. And your time clicks away second by second as you sit and wait for whatever it is your waiting for before you can do this or that. Live in the moment and let the future come to you when it comes and be prepared and ready to adjust your course of living as it comes. So get the crazy thought of things being perfect out of your head, and accept the fact that you have no choice where this journey will take you but your choice is held in the attitude you live by and how you adjust your life to what life brings to you. "We spend alot of time focused on the future, planning it, working toward it. But at some point you start to realize your life is happening now. Right now. This is it. It's here. Blink and you'll miss it."