Sunday, May 20, 2012

Taylor turns 1

You know how you remember just where you were and what you were thinking when something major happens in the world. Well the birth of my niece Taylor, went a little something like that. Its been 365 days since she entered our lives and now I struggle to recall what life was ever like without her not being here. From the moment we met her our lives were forever chagned....ALL for the better. She has filled our hearts with love - made a few wrinkles on our faces from smiling and our guts ache from laughing. She carries happiness with her in the simplest form - she just likes to BE. Its thru her eyes and the way she sees the world around her that we are exploring all the wonder this life has to ofter. Before Taylor we wouldn't be found trying to spot as many birds possible and sit for extended periods of time watching them fly. Now we race to the window to show her because we know this site will form a smile on her face. Before Taylor we didn't just sit and do nothing - now we will be still and just watch her. I guess you could say we are completely taken by this little girl. Head over heels wrapped around our finger can't get enough of TAKEN. Ya we prolli spoil her but we just can't help ourselves because she spoils us with joys and happiness that can't be bought but only found with being in her presences. Its funny how one day this person wasn't in your life and the suddenly they are here and everything changes. All I know is that I am glad this life now has her in it.

Taylor you have changed us all... You have a very very special place in our hearts. We love you sooo much. Know that to us you are our HOPE. Hope for a better tomorrow. Hope that miracles happen. Hope that happiness can be found in darkness. Hope to keep fighting. You have taught us to enjoy to truly enjoy the simple things. To find happiness in the most normal everyday moments. To make the time to just sit and watch and realize the beauty this life has in it - by just breathing and living each and every day that we are granted to be here. I know that for Granny you are her secret level or strength and will. Its your laugh. your smile. your hugs. your kisses. your giggle. your looks. your love that keeps her going. Keeps her wanting to fight fight fight. Your a pretty special little girl Taylor... and you will ALWAYS BE. I realized something if our lives can change soo much in just 365 days... I can't even imagine how our lives will continue to change all for the better with each year that passes that we have with YOU. Today its all about you girl!!! And my wish is that you always feel this love and warmth that soo many have for you. That you know each and everyday just how special you are. Just the gift you are to this world and to those who know and love you. That on your darkest days you see the light of hope to keep carrying on....Because Tay- to us you are that light. We love you. Happy 1st Birthday!!!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Happy Whale..she will always be.

 On a school trip to New York City and Boston was when we truly became friends. I was a junior and she a freshman...after a 30 hour plus bus ride i was annoyed with well over half of my friends and figured it was time to venture out and make new friends with people i saw everday walking the halls but never bothered truly getting to know. i walked the length of the bus and Lisa had an open spot so i sat down.  Its funny how you remember those moments when you become friends with someone - like you know that its the start of a friendship that it will last a lifetime, thats just how it was when i took the time to get to know Lisa Tolosky...and it left me to think just how many friendships with great people do i walk by and not give a single thought to. I knew her for years yet i never took the time to actually get to know her.

We had a blast exploring the east coast together and i formed new friendships with more people as well and just had a stella time being around new faces. But it was Lisa's friendship i knew even then that would last beyond just a face i was friends with back then...As we walked the streets in a small town off the east coast where shops lined the brick laid paths i looked up to find a shop named Happy Whale and the nickname was choosen...

That trip was something after sitting down with her...her future husband Ross was on the same bus...yet it would take years to bring them together...they married this pass fall in October and they gave me the great honor of capturing there day of i do's.  I am still left completely humbled by this. What great people who together are truly a great couple. It brings much joy knowing one of the kindest sweetest caring people i have ever known, my happy whale - is spending her life's journey with a truly great guy.

When i arrived home from that trip to the east coast i gained one hell of a friend. That was soo many years ago now when i look back - oh the fun and trouble we had.  Its strange that throu all those simple moments where we were laughing - having fun and more than a few times causing trouble we built a friendship that we didn't even know we were building.  Life has happened and set us on two different courses. it been well ages since we were two friends roaming the town of Beulah just being us.  Yet i know that doesn't change a thing between us nor our friendship.  I know in a heart beat if i needed her she would be there and she knows the same when it comes to me.  What a blessing to have such a friendship. Today May 2 is her birthday...funny i haven't seen her in awhile yet i know every May 2nd its her day without a thought to it...She has changed so much since the happy whale i first met yet she hasn't changed at all...the best parts of her just keep getting better. as she journeys thru this life learning growing and becoming i have found she is only blooming into an even better version of herself.  I picture her future bright and full of love no matter what she decides to do or where life takes her i know she will live this life with grace.  Maybe motherhood will be a title she will one day take and i am confident she will be the kind of mom only a few are blessed to call mom.  Or maybe she will do something completely different which is ok too...i am certain she will bring the very best she has to offer to whatever she decideds to do in this life...She still like always makes me proud to call her my friend - near or far no matter where life leads us.  Some are meant to be life long friends...and i know withouth a doubt she's one of them in my life.  Thank you my friend for blessing my life with your friendship and always offering me your kindness.  My life is more because you are a part of it...Happy Birthday Lisa. I hope you find yourself with a big ol smile spread across your face today and always...the smile that i always picture you wearing when i think of you.

Friday, April 20, 2012

27 WHAT that can't be...

Today my kid brother Jacorian turns 27. When did that happen? How did that happen? Where did the time go?? I still recall bringing him home all those years ago - filled with excitment I mean what 4 year old little girl wouldn't die to have her very own alive doll baby to dress feed and play with. I loved my older brother Paul don't get me wrong but playing with him involved either pitching so HE could BAT. Catching a ball so HE could perfect his passing and throwing for such sports as baseball and football. Getting knocked over from a box out on the court or getting tackled tackled because i was given the play to run on the field. It was a rough-house with him - I wasn't allowed to be a girl if I was playing sports with him. If by the off chance we were able to color it was always you have to color with this certain color because thats how its suppose to be and Michelle be careful to stay in the lines --- DO NOT ruin the picture sort of thing. He was a perfectionist... still is... and he plays to win pretty much never to just have fun. So as much as I loved building the biggest forts out of snow and playing G.I. Joe's with him.... I was soo excited to play house barbies dolls with my little brother. I mean isn't that the whole point of having someone younger than you... you play what they want....??? OR SO I THOUGHT...

I loved my little brother, I read him books, held him while watching cartoons - often times almost dropping him because I wasn't paying attention to him - feeding him, dressing him. He was MY BABY. Until the day arrived that he no longer fit into my doll highchair. My childhood friend Brooke and I always put him in the chair then reached a day where his belly must have grown over night... We did notice that he required both of us to lift him but we thought for sure he would still fit. He were able to somehow make him fit and get him to put his arms up to lock him in... it was when his belly rolled over - that's when the problems began. At first he was upset that followed by screaming - as Brooke and I tried as fast as we could with all the muscle both of us combined had (pretty sure looking about Jacorian at  9 months had more than both of us) to set him free. We finally realized he was locked in and there was NO WAY we were going to be able to get him out... Well by this time Jacorian's screaming had turned into a blown out red-headed devil break down freak out. We ended up having to go get Mom - and after some moving and force the highchair popped open. It was then I was told that Jacorian would no longer fit... it was a devasting day in my world as well as Brooke's. Jacorian was always up to playing house, dolls and barbies... He was such a great sport. This went on well into him being 4 or 5 - things changed then... I could no longer out power my little brother. It wasn't as easy as it was from the start to get him to do things... I found other ways don't you worry it just took some skill and thinking.  As far back as I can remember my brother was my shadow - being only 4 years old I was more close in age where Paul was 8 years older than him - In Jacorain's eyes Paul was idolised I was more terrorised. I had a deep love hate relationship with Jacorian for many many years, but in the end he was my best friend no matter how many times we fought no matter how many times I brought out the red-headed devil and lost the fight... we would get over it and be right back at being best buddies.

To this day my brother is one of my closest friends. I usually annoy him on road trips but I think he truly misses me when there is just silence in my absent. If I were to drive coast to coast he would be the one I would pick. Oh and yes I still know what buttons to push to bring out the red-headed devil, as if I would ever forget or want to forget. He is truly one of a kind, hard-working, caring, strong, funny and just does things and lives in a way that is just sooooo him. Happy Birthday to my favorite RED. I hope your day is as GREAT as I think You are.

Aaaaa little late...Renee's day

April 19th marks a special day in the Goldmann Clan its my Aunt Renee's Birthday!! She's pretty neat if you ask me... laid back easy going loves the outdoors often found with a smile on her face likes her wine and coffee. She's one of those simple livers when it come to living life. Spending time with her dogs horses grandchildren children husband family and friends ranks high on that list. She's alot like my father with her love for the outdoors and mother nature. Its crazy the things they know about trees rocks birds animals the land...I know they get this from my grandfather. One of my favorite places to be for the holidays is at her house out in the middle of the praire. Its quiet its beautiful its surrounded by mother nature where the sun seems to linger in the sky forever and as a result some of the most beautiful sunsets i have ever witnessed have been from her porch. When you are there life is about a cold drink laughter and family. Three of my favorite things. Its quite an honor to just know this amazing woman yet alone be blessed to called her family. We think she is pretty special, and we are usually right about things so trust us...she's top shelf. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT RENEE!!!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Winter into Spring

Where has 20-12 gone? I can not believe that we are reaching the end of MARCH.  Life in the mountains however aren't really showing signs of Spring just yet... As I look out my window I am still surrounded by white. However with the echo of drip drip drip that white stuff is slowly giving away to the warmth of the sun and becoming less and less. Today unlike yesterday feels like Spring in Montana. The skis are filled with blue and it takes a few moments for your eyes to adjust when going outside... sometimes just a tad to bright.

It will be a different Spring followed by Summer for me, in the years before I would be packing my bags in a few short weeks to head back to North Dakota. 2012  I will be staying put... ok when have I ever truly stayed put... in the of the terms I will be spending my days in Montana year around. I am sure I will be doing everything BUT staying put... I am excited to explore what I already know as AMAZING surroundings without SNOW. Hiking, Rafting, Running, and Biking (I can barely stand the wait to use the brand new mountain bike hanging from the ceiling in my guest room... ya ya I said guest room... sometimes you have to be creative in your storage.) I have know Whitefish as winter paradise for five great seasons and I am looking forward to knowing mother nature at her best in Spring Summer and Fall. It will be so different seeing green and hearing the birds sing and mayb just maybe wildlife simply enjoying nature as much as I am. My nikon will be getting plenty of use as well as my legs (ok rest of my body as well). the count down is on 12 days left of Skiing and Boarding the FISH. So I will be enjoying some spring skiing and good times with some good friends and then will be hanging up the good ol K2's and reaching for what just may end up being a new love hanging from my ceiling... I can't wait to get to know her (has to be a her right she's white and purple - a name will be provided in a later date after we embrace.)

I hope all of you are enjoying Mother nature as she turns winter into spring...

Friday, March 2, 2012

93 years young

Its a special day -today... the most kind sweetest most caring and loving guy I know turns 93 today. HAPPY BIRHTDAY GRAMPS.... and just so you all know... he is THE HAPPIEST guy I know. In my 31 years of life I have never seen my grandfather as anything but happy and loving. He is the prime example on how to live this life. I am so thankful for the life lessons he has taught me not thru his words but thru simply living his life. He has taught me about be grateful and thankful for the simplest of things, making the very best out of life ALWAYS, choosing to be happy and smile at all times, showing kindess to everyone you come in contact with - he is truly one of THE GREATEST. I hope he is showered with love kindness and happiness today (and always) he deserves to be surrounded with love.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Happy 35th Paulie

Its that time of year where I great the honor of giving a Birthday Shout out to my BIG brother, Paul. Its his day today! This year its an extra special one, its the first birthday he will celebrate as a Daddy, Dad, Father....its a big first for him. With the arrival of Taylor this past May life has sure changed...for all of us...esp for my brother. But I have found it has been change ALL for the BETTER. My brother has always been someone I truly admire...I always look up to him and go off his example to take my lead in my own life. He is a remarkable guy hands of the great ones...the keepers...the type you are glad - honored- blessed to call your son. brother. husband. dad. nephew. grandson. friend. co-worker. He has woren all sorts of hats thus far in life sports star, builder, fixer, cook, healer just to name a few but its his newest hat that he wears that he truly have found great pride - joy - and happiness watching him first try on this hat - fitting into this hat but most of all now making that hat his own. Here is this guy with huge manly hands turning so gentle. A manly man who defines strength softening because a certain little girl has him wrapped around her finger. Fatherhood has been a role that my brother has taken on so naturally.... I am not surprised my brother is good at everything he does and well if he isn't he doesn't stop trying til he is great at it. I know my niece is a special little girl...I knew it the minute that I first met her....she's a Goldmann...and that makes her pretty darn special...but what makes her a truly blessed little girl is that my big brother is her daddy...and that knowing that...makes her extra special. extra blessed. For I know the things my brother is amazing at...and all those things won't compare at all to the kind of father my brother is and will continue to be...Taylor is he well everything and I know what happens when it comes to my brother's everything...he will succeed beyond what is expected...he will go above and beyond...that's just who he over achiever and FINALLY fatherhood is something I can FINALLY say I hope he never stops becoming better at can be the winner always at this Paulie...and I know you will be. Happy Birthday to the best BiG BrOtHeR a sister could ever ask for. I hope you know today just how special you are...just what a gift you are to not only to your daughter but to your entire family and to all those who know you. You are a stand up guy that I am pretty proud to call my also helps to have you around during those times that I shoot my mouth off or can't get away from that annoying guy at the bar -my personal bouncer that still doesn't get old - i know you always have my back. Love ya.

Friday, January 27, 2012

proud to be a CHELLIE

She is the one that taught me  life is about having fun. about enjoying yourself. about laughing every chance you get. about smiling even more - get the wrinkles it symbolizes a life well lived... she is the one that well lives life with joy. she doesn't sweat the small stuff... she loves to have a drink in her hand and is always in search of living this life to the very core of her soul. she is laid back and light hearted. she hugs just like Granny...she claps her hands and opens her arms and wraps you in her favorite memory about my grandmother was passed down to her daughter....and the best part is she doesn't even know just how much she is like her in the best best best ways....her eyes light up when i or one of my cousins or brothers enter the room. She beams of love for her family just like Granny. I love those moments in life when you realize the person you so dearly miss is in many ways still here thru the passing of the torch.... that's my Aunt Shelley. she walks thru this life making her own path yet her roots remain firmly planted - a woman who has a strong heart strong mind and beautiful soul. She taught me by the life she lives that there is no perfect way on a paved known road the adventure lies in the path yet to be carved out. Everyone can live the normal life safe inside their comfort zone but the ones who truly live this life are out there taking risks taking chances following their whisper even when everyone else is saying they are crazy or it will never work to keep going...she's in quest to explore this life and seek every once of laughter and joy from it ---she is a trail blazer she's a GOLDWOMAN...she has taught me how to be a strong confident GOLDWOMAN to shred the checklist perfect life and live a life even better... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my aunt Shelley you have filled my life with adventure with laughter with cocktails with smiles with "just like Granny" hugs and above all love. Here's to the ride of life...and may that ride finds us causing trouble together soon...of course with a drink in one hand ok both hands and smiles on our face *my favorite part about my new job paid vacations so this planning will become a reality* Here's to you...i bare the name Chellie and esp aunt chellie with pride and joy to be told Michelle your just like your aunt Shelley well to me it just doesn't get better than that...thanks for always teachingby example what it means to be a GOLDWOMAN.... hope you are spoiling yourself not just today but always.

Monday, January 23, 2012


Its a word that carries more meaning that you will never know until it is a word that becomes a part of your life. CANCER to me was just a word once something that happened to my favorite teacher my best friend's grandma my mom's try to relate. you try to imagine but in the end you fall short in grasping what such a word means. Its a word that was never spoken in my family about one of my family members. You hear of name after name after name of those you have cancer who are battling cnacer who have lost their lives to cancer. But it all changes when suddenly that name is your mom's. When that person who Cancer claims as their home in their body is the person who carried you for 9 months who gave you life who held you gave you comfort feed you kissed you hugged you wiped away your tears - that person who your entire life is built around. that person you knows every scar every wound every memory every failure every dream - that person who taught you what was right or wrong - that person who installed everything that makes you - well you today.

As you all know there is nothing like the love for your mother. No better person. She's the glue - the one you can count on - the one thats always there- the one that loves you no matter what. Well my mom is just like that and more. I knew from an early age that my mom was well all the best ways possible...the great ones always are... they have this gift of just seeing the world thru different eyes - they have a way of just living that is rare. Ya you can call me bias but anyone who has spent 5 seconds with my mom knows this to be true...Paula Goldmann she's one of the great ones.

So when we were told almost two years ago that she had stage four breast cancer it was a blow to the core of the Goldmann family. The woman who held us all together who brings us all together was now to battle this monster we call cancer. I remember that moment being told in that moment and how it felt like the air was sucked right out - not being able to breath - tears rolling - fear setting in. Standing next to my brothers who until up to that time I had only seen cry once. But there was our mom putting her arms around us wrapping us in her love and saying with a smile on her face "i am going to be just fine." In true Paula fashion she picked up the pieces and carried on. Cancer changed our lives forever that day.... but it was my mom that truly changed our lives all for the better that day. Even thru this whole battle she has still kept us together. She is still the glue. She is the strongest woman I have ever met. She carries herself with grace strength faith and hope. Facing this cancer head on each and every time. Never giving up never saying why me. Never throwing herself a pity party. Never seeing this journey as a set back.... She is teaching my brothers and I the true meaning of such words as fighting. strength. hope. faith. LIVING...with each step that she takes. Its a honor to walk with her thru this journey it truly is.

The funny thing about CANCER is that once its in your life its a word that will never leave your life. Even when things are going great you find yourself  walking on glass wondering if the crack that formed that you have tried to glue and strength will hold - just how long will it last??? Cancer is a devil like that....but then I remember the lessons my mom has taught and lived just have to enjoy the ride no matter where it takes you and when it ends. When I see cancer as my mom does life seems a bit easier to take on...knowing that she is a trooper and she will fight until the very last breath she takes makes me realize if she is willing to give every ounce of her being to fight to simply live then I can give every ounce of my being as well. We all are in the same boat....we get to live this life just once....and one day we will wake up to our last breath....and when that day comes what will your life say about you??? I know my mom is no where near of taking her last breath but i do know with each breath she takes she's making it count. And its a constant reminder to make mine count as well.....THANK YOU MOM...for always guiding for always setting the example not by the words you speak but by the life you live. I am beyond blessed to call you my mom. And THANK YOU for fighting each and everyday for US. WE LOVE YOU.