12 years... We Remember

Every year this date rolls around March 14. On this day I reflect on a life- on a man that changed well everyone's life that he knew. A teacher. A coach. A son. A friend. An uncle. A husband. A father. He was a man that spoke and stood for his word. He was a fighter and achiever. He saw the best in people esp in times they didn't show it. He never gave up, esp on his students and athletes. To him you could do it, you just had to set your mind to it, believe and above all put in the work that it takes to reach it. He was always there to cheer you on, voice support & guidence and encourage. He saw the world a bit differently, thru eyes that always seemed to sparkle. A smile always found across his face even in his darkest hours. He left this world all too soon yet something about him made it seem he was too good for this world.

Looking back gosh this day was hard, and with time the jagged sharp edges of the hole that was made in his absence's has somewhat began to smooth, yet the hole will always remain. We are left holding onto the memories of what he said, what he did and what he stood for in all of the lives he touched. Though I know he would have rather been remembered for the man that he was, which was human & well imperfect but always did what he thought was best, in our minds - of those who called him: Coach Swegarden, Mr. Swegarden and even Dad and Jay have somewhat turned his life into a legend. A man larger than life, a man too good for this world. A man who had some big shoes to walk in yet always found a way to walk in them. A man who had the odds of survival stacked against him yet fought like he could and would win, a never give up attitude. A man who taught us so much in his classroom, on the field and mat, but perhaps his greatest lesson he gave his students and athletes was one he never spoke but how he lived and composed himself. Especially towards the end of his journey. He always made the time when he was needed by a student and/or athlete. Always more concerned about someone else than himself. He truly did live the life of a legend, of a hero, of a great man, of a person far too good for this world.

There are days I wonder what would be if he was still here, and how him still being here would impact the lives he knew, loved and touched - what would be, who would we be, who he would be today... For I know many changed for the good and better by his story, his journey, his battle & fight with cancer, his death- would this still have had happen, if it didn't come at the cost of his death? Its hard to think of such a life based on if only's... Because the truth is the if only's will never be, all we have is this life now. And if I remember correctly he would be torked if he heard me thinking in such a way. I know he would look at me and say stop thinking about what could have been and focus on what will be. That was Mr. Swegarden thou eyes always set towards the future never lingering in the past. My only regret when thinking of him is that I never spoke the words of how much he meant to my life, my story, my journey. I was just some punk of a kid in high school - who never quite saw or believed in the person he saw me as and sometimes still don't, but I know in my own way I showed him how much I admired him - well at least I hope in enough ways to let him know I was thankful. What I have learned over the years is to not wait to voice those words until its too late and I hold onto hope that one day I will be able to voice those very words I was never able to speak to the man that changed and touched my life.

We remember you, Mr. Jay Swegarden. We are thankful and blessed our lives were touched by you. And we are humbled and honored by the lessons you taught us that came at your expense -thru your pain, your battle, your fight, your journey and your death.

I remember you lastly in this quoted from Shakespeare a story that you read to us and brought to life in your classroom freshmen year... "When he shall die, take him and cut him out in stars. And he will make the face of heaven so fine, that all the world will be in love with night. And pay no worship to the garish sun." -William Shakespeare: Scene 2 Romeo and Juliet