Life with Clark, I mean MARK: Who broke that & the Clue Lamps

Today is the start of a new series that will be featured on my blog called: Life with Clark, I mean MARK. Mark is my father, I say Clark because there are some traits that link him worthy to Clark Grizwold... Whenever I post these blogs it will always be called the above title and they will all be linked together for your reading enjoyment. What you read is in fact THE COMPLETE TRUTH. These are things that my father has actually said, thought and done. Its always an adventure (usually filled with laughter) with my father, Mark.

Life with Clark, I mean MARK (Who broke that & the Clue Lamps)

My father believes he has somewhat of a prized memory or maybe the correct wording appears to, I have never seen someone that can find something so fast in a huge mess. Anytime I or any other family member has given up and/or about to go out to the store and buy a whatever that is lost in the chaotic organizational system my father calls his basement and garage Clark walks causually over and in a matter of seconds finds whatever we have been looking for - for the past hour. And of course always makes some comment like "you weren't even looking - its laying right here." Now with such a great memory the following shouldn't apply to him. But I will let you be the judge on that. While growing up in an active household where we played football and any other sport with a ball not only outside but often times in doors as well, you can about imagine the things that got broke. Of course whenever such happened we did tell at least our mother right away, and often my father at the same time. However he was told he was in fact ALWAYS TOLD, what was broke - how it broke and what needed to be fixed. Most of the things broke involved him being the one that fixed it... The following are things he would often say and to this day still says... While walking by something that has been broken for years Clark will casually say "when did that break or who broke that" in a maner that would make him think it was broken yesterday or today. These sayings are usually followed by "why didn't someone tell me???"

Case in point, the lamps we have had in our living room since well it seems like the dawn of forever, are these heavy brass lamps that you imagine could be featured in a game of clue Col. Mustard in the study with the brass lamp... Well for years these lamps seemed to have had a mind of their own... Turing off sometimes when someone would just walk by other times as if we had the clap on clap off installed and someone was clapping down the street. If they weren't turning off and on by themselves they were flickering. After battling with them for years we finally convinced my mother to replace them (she had somewhat of an attachement issue with these Game of Clue Lamps). So we finally go out and buy two new lamps & set the old ones by the trash. In walks Clark and his casual comments of "who broke these, when did these break.??" WHAT are you kidding me the man with a memory of finding anything in a mess can't remember all of the issues we had with the Clue Lamps?? So what does he do... informs my mother "well, Paula these are perfectly fine lamps that can be fixed." Really Bob Villa...yeah right... A few nights later my mother calls me and says guess who fixed the lamps. The new lamps have been replaced with the once again Clue Lamps that now ACTUALLY WORK.