Thursday, June 4, 2015

June 4th.

Today - you and dad would have celebrated 39 years of marriage. oh how i wish you two would have been allowed more time to grow together through this life - to enjoy the life you had worked so hard for and saved for...i wish you would have been granted that life together. But i realize you were blessed with much more. You two were blessed with a marriage that provided you love and support for 38 years. I can only hope that if i ever do find the right one to say I do too - that such a marriage would mirror the one that the two of you created.  I often thinking of the song by Martina McBride - All the things we've never done.

They drank their anniversary glass...A silent moment passed
Then they kissed...She knows there's something on his mind
He'll tell her in due time...What it is.... He says "I've never built
Your mansion on a hill...Or warmed you in the Spanish sun
I simply blink my eye...And think as years fly by
Of all the things we've never done"

She smiles and takes his hand in hers....And says "It just occurred
To me now....The thought that brings you such regret
What hasn't happened yet...It makes me proud... "

"You never walked away...When I needed you to stay
Or made me feel I'm not the one...There've been no broken vows
And there reason we're here now...Is all the things we've never done"

"We've never grown apart....You never broke my heart
With secrets that you've kept me from...We've never been untrue
And I'm still here with you...Through all the things we've never done"

To me this was your marriage in a nut wasn't about things or possessions - it was all about what was real - what is now some what rare these days...simply and pure love. You two were committed to each other and your vows to the other stood for something and the life you built together was lasting. I am so proud to be the daughter of Mark and Paula Goldmann.  I so wish I could have watched more of your love story unfold yet i know its still not over.

Last year we spent this night in the ER...some anniversary to celebrate 38 years...yet it didn't matter to you two were just happy to be together. I find it quite ironic on the very day you officially started your life together would end up being the very day 38 years later to start your lives soon apart. For it was late in the nite of June 4, 2014 that we gathered around you filled with fear and worry...something wasn't right...something wasn't right at all... we got that sinking gut feeling that our lives would soon be flipped upside down - little did we know then that the sinking feeling wasn't just our lives being flipped but also torn and blown apart...In 12 days you would finally be granted peace but that peace would come at a cost - you would have to suffer and we would have no choice but to watch you slowly slip from this world as you carried your cross alone. Thinking of your last anniversary - is today i picture your wedding day. i see the couple - the new Mr. and Mrs. Goldmann ready to embark on life with his sun golden skin and big grin and you in a simple beautiful dress with eyes filled with excitement. You two couldn't wait to begin to embrace whatever life had in store for you to come - whatever it may bring you promised to face it together...and that you did. What a life you two had together...what a marriage...what a family you created...All because two people fell in love.

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