A little LATE

It was Oct. 2....ya I know I am a little late but never forgotten... He would have been 55 this year. I wonder the lessons he would have taught me I wonder the memories I would have had with him and his girls. I wonder who he would be today... Would he still be teaching english and coacing football and wrestling. Would he still be in Beulah with his wife. Would he still be as a beloved teacher like he was thru out all the years he was at BHS.... I am guessing all the answers would prolli all be YES. I often wonder in the same breath who would we all be if he was still here. Would we be the same? Would we be better or less as the people we are today. I know it was thru his suffering. his pain. his fight. his battle. his death that we those who knew and love him that were force to learn life lessons. We dugged our feet because we didn't want the growth in character to come at the cost of his life. Yet that was Mr. Swegarden in prime form... teaching us the lessons that matter most. Having in a hand in the growth of character the kind that is great for the soul but oh so hard to do... so of course he would be behind it all... I remember sitting in his class having to do book reports... I hated getting up in front of the class and speaking. He knew this. I usually put off doing it in hopes he would some how forget that I never gave mine.. I remember the day he said Miss. Goldmann your up... well I bombed my book report...I got so nervous I actually sat down in the middle of it... I was embrassed to say the very least. The bell rang and the class ran off to lunch and i just sat there in my desk completely dumbfounded because i knew i would be the talk of the school... did you hear what Michelle Goldmann did in english class... I remember him pulling up a chair next to me - him saying look at me Michelle. Sometimes we fail in life. Sometimes we fall. chances are it happens alot more than when we succeed. Today you felt what its like to fail - so remember its not the end of the world. We just get up and try again. Thats the part that matters that we TRY AGAIN. and you never stop trying til you do succeed. I looked up at him tears in my eyes and red faced and said... so your saying i have to do this all over again tomorrow... he smiled and said YUP... but I believe you will learn from this and succeed. BUT if you don't there's always the day after that. I was never the talk of the school because Mr. Swegarden was kind a enough to discuss with the class that if we don't feel comfortable to fall to fail in front of our peers then we are all destined to failure in life... beause each one of us will be wearng the shoes that your classmate wore today... don't ever forget what its like to walk in those shoes. That man was all about growth. learning and character. I got up the next day and gave my book report sailed thru it like the previous day never happened. Who would have thought it took failing at a 9th grade book report for me to learn a life lesson that has never parted with me since. The bell rang and everyone ran out the door to be the first in line for lunch while i as usual casually left the room in the unlike oh my god there's a bomb or fire matter that the rest of my classmates exited. I got to the door and I can still hear his voice.... Miss Goldmann I am proud of the character you showed, never lose or be afraid to show your character- see you tomorrow. God I miss that man. Happy Birthday Mr. Swegarden. I am honored I am beyond blessed that my life was one of the lucky to be touched shaped and forever changed by you. You will always be one of THE greatest men I have ever had the pleasure to know. I know that I am MORE because of YOU. I know that I am the person I am today because you always took the time- because you went above and beyond- because you used your teachings your classroom your lessons for more than just english grammar and literature-because you showed character thru out your entire life esp with your battle with cancer. because you never stopped being a teacher. a coach. a mentor... You were and still are one of the good ones. The kind of person this world needs more of... I know you don't need birthday wishes where you are at these days so instead I wish that you grace the lives of those you love(esp your girls)... I hope you bring them sunshine in their darkness. I hope you bring them smiles to their tears. I hope you send this a wave of peace.