Friday, May 1, 2015

Grandma Tillie

5.1.2015 - Your longing wish and dream has finally been granted.  Tears of joy, love and happiness roll down my cheeks as i imagine you at last reunited with the love of your life, Grandpa Jake. Oh how you endlessly talked about this day...being embraced by him again.  Oh to love someone that much to live 31 years without him and to never love another besides him.  What a celebration it must be for the two of you together again.  I picture your strong faith being rewarded by coming face to face with your maker - i see the huge smile across your face as you are embraced by our Lord's peace - light and love...I envision the look of shock and suprise filled with joy upon seeing your Paula there. For in this world you weren't able to fully understand she had left. I can see her big smile across her face - you know the one..the kind of smile she gave that was so big it wrinkled up her nose...i can hear her giggle - the one she made when she was bursting with happiness...i can hear you say her name with the same smile across your face...i fight back tears knowing you are being embraced by her...half torn with happiness and jealously knowing you are with her. Then I remember you have earned this. You deserve this reunion. this happiness. this peace. this love. this joy....and a smile forms again. And i whisper good for you.

Grandma Tillie, i hope you know how much i love you. I hope you know how important you are in my life and who i am as a person. I hope you know how proud I am to be your grand-daughter and how honored I am to call you, my Grandma.  I remember it all, Grandma. and I promise never to forget. I vow to honor you in the life that i live on this earth until i am embraced by you again......As i do when i think and miss your daughter so much i can't find the words...i will now do for you too...in the silence so calming I can almost hear my heart & soul whispering to yours - i bring my hand - the same hands that were yours - her's & now mine and gently place it on my heart.  As tears stream down my face - i sit with these hands that were passed down to me, feel the beating of my heart - the heart - you first gave life to her and then she gave life to me.  I sit in the stillness not a word spoken from my lips for some thoughts are too deep for words...yet i know the both of you hear them all and know them all...for i am the breath and life of the both of you - my soul forever embedded in yours. A connection so deep - a bond so powerful that no words are ever needed. Your love and her love are all that remain in this world that you have left behind. What a honor. what a blessing. what a gift to know that love. to have that love. to feel that love. I close my eyes and picture the two of you now forever together...and i pray you give me the strength i will need to embrace this life without the two of you. I pray you both forever know how much i love you.

You have empowered my life and helped me become more by simply loving me and sharing your life - your lessons and your love with me. May the angels lead you into paradise, Grandma Tillie.  I love you. Give my love and hugs to my mom...I look forward to the day I see you both awaiting for my arrival - smiles and giggles included.

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