Every once in awhile I will be caught up in a moment. A certain song comes on that sparks a memory. Someone will walk by that reminds me of laugh we shared. Or I hear a joke I want to share with you. I will be meeting someone new and hear their accent and wish it was you instead of them, talking to me. I will recall what seems like a lifetime of memories made in such a short amount of months. I will find myself closing my eyes and wishing that when I open them they would all be in the room.
Oh how I wish to hit the dance floor - sit on a beach down the road - go thru the beer drive thru for a cold pure blonde - to have a laugh... To just be in my aussie mates company.
Its been almost 3 years since I left the land downunder. 3 years since I saw the faces that changed my entire life. 3 years where I meet the mates that would help me find my true self who would help me learn- grow and become this woman I was meant to be (and I am positive I was only able to find her and be her because of these gals). It was a time that I hold tightly too. Its a time that meant the world to me but I hardly speak of to those around me now. Part because it was just me that was there so how could they ever truly get it...but mainly because it was a time that meant so much to me and I found out so much about myself there that I feel its just for me.
I share so much of my life but australia I tend to keep that one to me- only speaking of its memories from time to time or with a simple reference to or a story here and there... Because sometimes places things and people change us so profoundly and have such a deep impact on us it leaves us with NO WORDS... The mates I met and still am in touch with to this day well they know- I talk to them about this and that and they get it miles and miles away. They saw the change they made in my life. They saw the growth while it was happening. And I am so grateful it was downunder and with these mates that I finally found the person I was meant to be... Who would have thought my being was just hanging out 30miles from Melbroune... But there she was.
I don't miss a lot of places and people. And I certainly don't say I miss you unless I surely and truly do! I miss Australia. I miss Alice. I miss Alex. I miss Talita. I miss Binksy. I miss Michaela. I miss Tegs. I miss Coops. I miss EZ. I miss Loz. I miss Jayne and Jan. I miss the Hammonds. I miss my mates. I miss the feeling I got from just being surround by these amazing people.
I am still afraid that if no no when I return I will never want to leave prolli why my parents aren't too highly on my visiting anytime soon ;)... But I promise... I vow... I will be back!!! Til then THANK YOU!! To Aus and to my mates... Who helped me not only find myself but helped me grow into myself. What you all brought into my life... Well there's just not words to say... and thank you doesn't begin to cover it! However know this!!! 3 years later and there's still not a day where I have found myself not thinking of aus or you in some way... Sometimes in small ways others in big ways! And oh how blessed I always feel to have those memories those thoughts those moments!!!
"More than anything I want to trust in a journey that I don't understand."
"I write entirely to find out what I am thinking & feeling, what I am looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear."
"Loving you changed my life. It should come as no surprise that losing you has done the same."
"I am living proof that a shattered heart can still beat.:
"I am living proof that a shattered heart can still beat.:
LOVEthisLiFE
- Michelle
- "Life lies in the JOURNEY not the Destination." Everyday I awake to embrace the day I have been given. Thru times of struggle and in happiness--I find reasons each and everyday to LOVEthisLIFE.
Every story is one to be heard....
"You have been given the chance to live, so LIVE."
"Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future. Therefore, you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go. But more importantly it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey."
"Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly, your wholeness when you are broken, your innocence when you feel guilty and your purpose when you are confused."
"I may not have gone where I intended to go - but I believe I have ended up where I needed to be."
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down 'happy.' They told me - I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life."
"If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars."
"Some people just live life in a way that well seems against the grain - never taking the paved way the easy way never living to the checklist of life...but maybe just maybe they are seeking a little bit more from life."
"All of your life is about growing into your personal best...all of your life is about growing into greatness."
"When something bad happens, you have three choices...you can either let it define you, let it destroy you OR you can let it strengthen you."
"I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders."
"Do one thing everyday that scares the complete shit out of you."
"Try to be like a turlte, at ease in your own shell."
"There is a great mystery that none of us will get until that last breath and EVERYTHING will become VERY CLEAR."
"There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with."
"Overcome the notion that you must be regular it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary."
"Too much has been given much is required. You must do something for the greater good to show your gratefulness for the blessings in your life."
"The CHALLENGE of my LIFE is to see how far I can take it."
"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go."
Never ask, "What reason do I have to be happy?" Instead ask, "To what purpose can I attach my happiness?"
"Maybe mistakes are what makes our fate - without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we never veered off course we wouldn't be who we are now."
"The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt."
"Michelangelo said the best way to judge the essential elements of a sculpture is to throw it down a hill and the unimportant pieces will breake away. Sometimes life is like that. It tosses us down a hill. But when we reach the bottom and only the important things are left, that's when our vision clears. That's when we hold on tight to what we know, while hope stirs inside us. It's all a matter of perspective."
"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm but to add color to my sunset sky."
"Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces - I would still plant my apple tree."
"Turn your wounds into wisdom and your mess into your message."
"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek & find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
"Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared."
"It is impossible to win the race unless you venture to run, impossible to win the victory unless you dare to battle."
"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet."
"When you find the way others will find you. Passing by on the road they will be drawn to your door. The way that cannot be heard will be echoed in your voice. The way that cannot be seen will be reflected in your eyes." -Choose your own journey even if it means taking a path no one ever has.
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer anwsers."
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