She's someone I have known for ages. She's someone I watched grow up. She's someone I caused trouble with - got caught with when breaking the rules. She's someone I have been thru the very worse life can bring with. She's someone I have laughed til I thought my stomach muscles were going to tear apart. She's someone who I have smiled to the point where I thought my face was going to fall off with. She's someone that knows my smiles my looks - there's no hiding from her. She's knows me better than I prolly know myself. She's been my friend my sister my person from day one - the almost six year gap between us was never an issue - whether she was 5 12 18 27 she's always been my most favorite person to be around. Her presence is always the one I seek and need when riding on life's rollarcoaster. She's the one I want screaming next to me holding on for dear life. She has a grace about her that puts me at ease. When chaos surrounds the life I live its her that provides the peace. To explain what my life would be without her - are words I will never be able to find nor ever want to find. I know for certain who I am would not be complete without her. I always use to say some corny line about how you couldn't spell Michelle without the MI from Jami nor Jami without the MI from Michelle. Its just how its suppose to go.
People sometimes get confused when they ask me how many siblings I have. By blood I have two brothers but I always tell them I have a sister as well. For Jami is as much as my sister as Paul and Jacorian are my brothers. The same blood might not pump thru our veins but in every other way that is who she is...my sister. For the bond we have and share is one that is beyond hard to explain - words such as friend or best friend cannot expand across nor range in depth when it comes to the meaning our relationship holds. Its just something both her and I understand without a word yet still both of us fail at describing to others. How do you begin to share a story that goes back to the years to a time where we were both just kids - to a time we didn't know even who we were other than Michelle and Jami. How do you try to even find the words regarding the darkness sorrow and hardships we went thru that was filled with suffering struggles illness loss death anger pain tears hurt fears and so much more then times by two - for it wasn't enough to have to go thru it once we did it twice for good measure I guess... The kind of life moments when great loss happens that shatters the world you know and finds all the pieces of who you are tossed in millions of pieces across the floor. When you are on the outside trying to look in you try to imagine what those moments are like - being in those moments with her and her mom are prolly some of the hardest and toughest moments of my life but yet i wouldn't trade those moments with them for anything. As a result of being in that darkness crawling through that darkness with them my life is forever linked to theirs and theirs to mine.
So when someones asks me what is Jami to you - well she's everything and more. I have experienced life's lowest lows and life's highest high with her. I have cried with her I have laughed with her. I have learned grown and become more as a result of the life experiences we went thru together. Her face might not be one that I get to see as often as I would like but that's the thing about our connection our bond our relationship - i don't need her to be physically present to feel her strength her support her friendship her happiness her love her encouragement for her sisterhood is written all across my heart all across my soul - no matter the distance that comes between us or the length of time that goes by without seeing her the tie that binds us grows stronger and stronger whether we are together or apart. She never ceases to amaze me - most times I just love to sit back and watch her interact or communicate with others - i love to hear her stories and better yet the stories that many share with me about her. For they all simply fill me with pride and leave me feeling honored that maybe me being apart of her life might even just have the slightest influnce on how she became the Jami everyone knows her to be. I say that becasue I know that the Michelle everyone knows me to be was shaped and influnced greatly with having her as a part of my life. She makes me more and a better person for knowing her and traveling thru this life together with her.
I am unsure why life led us on such a course or how it came to be to find her to be the one by my side. Something I will prolly never understand yet always be beyond grateful and blessed that it did. For if there was ever a person who knows me without me ever having to speak a word its her. For if there ever was a person who's mere presences put me at east it would be her. A few years ago for her 21st birthday Jami's mom and I made her a book - on a page in that book are the lyrics to a song called I'll be...as much as that song was meant to speak the words for me to her - i know the same words come from her to me...Jami - my one and only, forever my person. my friend. my sister.
When darkness falls upon your heart and soul.
I'll be the light that shines for you.
When you forget how beautiful you are
I'll be there to remind you.
When you can't find your way,
I'll find my way to you.
When troubles come around,
I will come to you.
I'll be your shoulder when you need someone to lean on.
Be your shelter.
When you need someone to see you through.
I'll be there to carry you.
I'll be there.
I'll be the rock that will be strong for you.
The one that will hold on to you.
When you feel that rain falling down.
When there's nobody else around.
I'll be.
And when you're there with no one there to hold.
I'll be the arms that reach for you.
And when you feel your faith is running low.
I'll be there to believe in you.
When all you find are lies.
I'll be the truth you need.
When you need someone to run to .
You can run to me
I'll be the sun.
When your heart's filled with rain.
I'll be the one.
To chase the rain away.
I'll be
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