I think we have all been there - and guitly of it. I find myself getting into a pattern of just getting up going to work and coming home over and over and over - and soon realize just what I am missing out on. So much living can be done just in our everyday routines and I know I fall short with such because I either am too lazy or make excuses on why I shouldn't do this or that. This usually ends up with my getting upset with myself after a given point of time has passed because I know full well that I have wasted time as well as lost time I will never get back. I have a goal to do something something at least one a day that provides that feeling of being fully and completely alive. When I was in Montana it was easy I walked outside and it was there it engulf me when I was with mother nature on a mountain - now days I have to get alittle more creative but regardless those moments still exist for me to create make and have.
Why is this such a hard thing to accept. Why can't it just be easy to say know and feel its ok if thats the way it goes. Instead I often am filled with regret - beating myself up with thougths of if you would have done this instead of that. Some life lessons are just simply hard to accept know and learn as simple as that - esp when they involve someone leaving your life. When I find myself in such a position I truly try to understand myself what I can learn from the situation to better myself as well as make sure it doesn't happen again and above all grow and learn from the hardships it provided. Failure Flaws and Faults are often very hard to take ownership of - to realize your wrong doings and mistakes but its the only way that growth can happen - to realize we messed up and we aren't perfect grounds us in the fact that we are human and we are going to hit rock bottom we are gonna do things and say things that well we wish we could take back but can't. All we can do is learn and move forward and to know that sometimes its just how life goes - we aren't meant to be fully present in everyone's life just as how everyone is not meant to be present in your life. We must learn to let go and trust that there is a purpose - a reason and one day we will come to understand fully what that purpose and reason is.
I have seen this many times - prolly because I tend to observe what is going on around me - I see people creating their own drama and drowning in their own drama. I often wonder do they realize they are making a slip into a trip into a fall? Can they see these things or is being in the moment rob them from such clarity? Worse yet do I appear to be this as well when I have life issues? How does it appear when I handle changes and challenges of life? I would hope to say I am not like that but well I am looking from the inside out not the outside in. I do know that when you part take in gossip and drama you are a creator of it and the creator is always left in the midst of it, there is no escaping it unless you simply don't take any part in it. The other way of avoiding such things I believe is the attitude you bring to life - it can make all the difference in the world if you are seeing the positive side of things and not focusing on the negative. It isn't easy at times but it doens't truly make a difference. Regardless as the saying goes you get what you give. So pay attention to what you are putting out in the world it will be coming back to you in the same form.
I think there is a fine line of being able to firm yet being able to bend. Knowing when to to voice your words for action and when to stay silent and be understanding. Being able to stand up for your thougths and feelings and when to show compassion to others. I think it takes being both strong and weak - soft and solid to be a grounded person. I strive to be both yet not too tough you aren't someone that can't be approached and not to kind to the point people walk all over me and take advantage of. There is a happy medium and the key is to find that balance as well as keep that balance in life.
The truth is simpe - there are moments in our life we reach that forever alter who we are - often it comes in terms of loss - death, break ups or great change graduating, moving, divorce, birth, wedding or new job - just a few examples. I find it amazing how we are capable of enduring this times that forever change us. How our beings adapt embrace and change with what has been handed to us as our new reality. Its really remarkable to sit back and spend some time thinking about this. Most often than not our being finds ways to support as well as protect ourselves while going thru such change - allowing ourselves to slowly forget is a major way we adapt - thank god for this or everyday waking up would be nightmare - even thou when going thru such times right away it seems just like that. But slowly with time we chang - we heal - we evolve. Reflecting back on my life I can recall thus far 6 big life moments that changed my life and I know as I travel thru this life that number will only increase. Now that I have somewhat embarked a great deal down such roads I notice the changes and growth in the person that I am today. Life is surely amazing what it brings to you - what you learn from it and how you grow and become from those very things. And I believe it will constantly take this form of shape until we take our last breath. We are here to learn. We are here to grow. We are here to become. And its thru life changing moments we find the biggest change biggest challenge and biggest growth.
Its a plain and simple fact that somedays you just need a drink and it doesn't matter the time of day. Thankfully there are sayings such as this that make it acceptable!!!
Don't you just hate it when you realize if you keep doing the same thing you will get the same thing. In order to get something different you have to do something differnt. Life is all about change - constantly never ending change. We aren't meant to stay the same simple as that. And if you want things to be different you have to be different simple as that. Seems pretty logicial doesn't it.
My days of dreaming to be married to become a mom well are pretty much behind me - they are thoughts that don't even cross my mind, I guess if they happen they happen but they are no longer things I feel need to happen in order for me to have a complete and happy life. As the years have gone by my focus has been on striving to be simply happy and content with the life that I live. Did I picture it to be like this - well prolly not but you know what I find it to be quite rewarding because I have this life that I am simply at ease with being in. I am comfortable in my own skin and comfortable with being whether that is alone or with someone else. I like just being in silence - with music playing somewhere in the background and I am busy with the task at hand. Its calming knowing I have just what I need and want. As for the rest I believe what is meant to be will be, when it comes - if it comes or doesn't come at all - my life will not be any less. I am just focusing on embracing the life that is now.
Guilty as charged. Something I need to come to terms with and fully accept. I am terrible about opening up to others because of the fact that I allow myself to think in terms of their sorrow is much more than mine - always trying to find ways to lessen my reasons for being down because someone else's loss or saddness is greater than mine. I wish I could say I am getting better at accepting it but well its still something I am working on. Comparing it in this matter to happiness it makes much more sense why you shouldn't think in such a matter. Something I truly need to keep in mind.
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