What I have realized more and more is that I am becoming better at accepting the fact that life ins't always peachy. Sometimes it just down right sucks...and thats ok. Those times don't last forever. So embrace them. Learn from them. Grow from them and become MORE from those times. We have them for a reason and that reason is to learn grow and become.
Sometimes my restlessness and unsettling ways of feeling like I am trapped in a zoo cage makes me feel like maybe I just don't belong here.There have been many moments in my life where I just simply feel like something got mixed up and the life I was suppose to live was 40 years ago. Or I am trapped in a body with too old of a soul. There have been times where I simply just don't understand people and the logic behind what they are doing thinking and saying. And I think its because of why I am and who I am that I find most enjoyment in being alone away with myself lost in life. I am at peace when its just me - maybe there is truth to this saying....
I have spend the last few weeks packing items and getting rid of items and this is the rule of thumb I have been using. And man oh man does it help you down size and be organized. My new policy now is if I buy something or bring something home something must find a new owner/home.
These such moments when I follow this pull are the very moments my soul feels most alive and most at home. I simply love such moments...let life be your map and your soul your compass.
Isn't that the truth...its always the gettting started part that takes the longest...the first step in the unknown that scares us...once we get going all is good to go fine...its the starting process that we need to get kicked to do. So find that 20 seconds and start.
I will admit there was at a point in my life that I strived to be noticed for the wrong reasons. I was never much for one to want the spotlight on me - in fact such a light still makes me red in the face. I was always terrible at recieving compliments because I just felt awkward - what do I say what do I do how do I act? So thankfully it was a bit easier for me to learn this lessons of striving to simply shine in a way that stays true to who I am as an all around person not just being someone in the spot light then a different person when the spotlight is off me. And to do such a thing I have simply focused on being who I am and who I am capable of being regardless who is around or if not one is around. I am not living a life to impress others I am here with the purpose to just be me - live life and learn from life. I am not perfect I make mistakes but i am learning and I am above all else trying to treat others with compassion understanding and respect regardless if its returned to me or not.
I have yet to have a full understanding why we tend to stray away from the very things we need in our life to bring us happiness to complete us to make us feel alive. Are we scared? Are we lazy? Are we unsure? I don't get it. What I do know is that I have made a pack with myself to spend more time living outside my comfort zone. Less think thinking more time living and being. I am embracing the unknown the challenges and the changes not avoiding them or turning in the other direction from them. Its time to start truly living not just existing.
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