Sunday, December 13, 2009

Regrets

We all have something that we wish we could take back. We all have something called regret. If we didn't have at least one of these such things we wouldn't be human. Because that's what we do...we fail. We mess up. We make mistakes. We are quick with our words when our thoughts and feelings truly don't agree. We hurt.

Yet the truth of it is that somethings can never be taken back. Some mistakes are unfixable and some mess ups can't fully be cleaned up. Sometimes no matter how hard we try we can't put things back together and pretend like nothing ever went wrong. In the end all we are left to is living with it.

We can try to forget but well even when I try I still remember. It will sneak up on you in your moments of the day sometimes invited as a friendly reminder of the lessons you learned from the regret(s) you carry in your life. Sometimes they blind side you and suck the life right out of you. And sometimes its just constant-you can never escape it. You learn to pick it up each day and carry it with you...in the same way you brush your teeth and put your socks on each morning. You try so hard to find ways to put it down but its hold is too deep.

What's the point of regret? Well I am still learning...but I am sure it has to deal with learning. I am sure its there to haunt us with what happens when we hurt. When we are less than who we are. When we know our actions are wrong and still go about doing them. Regret are wounds that never fully heal-we are forced to adjust our life around them so they in the end become apart of our life. Which is mainly why I refuse to have even one. But even I am not above such things. Maybe someday I will just carry such things with me without even knowing-kind of like brushing my teeth-i don't think about having to do it...I just do it. And yet sometimes I hope I never do forget the mistakes I have made and the hurt I have caused so I know and learn from them. So in some way I become better and more because of the regrets I have and not less.

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