proud to be a CHELLIE

She is the one that taught me  life is about having fun. about enjoying yourself. about laughing every chance you get. about smiling even more - get the wrinkles it symbolizes a life well lived... she is the one that well lives life with joy. she doesn't sweat the small stuff... she loves to have a drink in her hand and is always in search of living this life to the very core of her soul. she is laid back and light hearted. she hugs just like Granny...she claps her hands and opens her arms and wraps you in her love...my favorite memory about my grandmother was passed down to her daughter....and the best part is she doesn't even know just how much she is like her....like her in the best best best ways....her eyes light up when i or one of my cousins or brothers enter the room. She beams of love for her family just like Granny. I love those moments in life when you realize the person you so dearly miss is in many ways still here thru the passing of the torch.... that's my Aunt Shelley. she walks thru this life making her own path yet her roots remain firmly planted - a woman who has a strong heart strong mind and beautiful soul. She taught me by the life she lives that there is no perfect way on a paved known road the adventure lies in the path yet to be carved out. Everyone can live the normal life safe inside their comfort zone but the ones who truly live this life are out there taking risks taking chances following their whisper even when everyone else is saying they are crazy or it will never work to keep going...she's in quest to explore this life and seek every once of laughter and joy from it ---she is a trail blazer she's a GOLDWOMAN...she has taught me how to be a strong confident GOLDWOMAN to shred the checklist perfect life and live a life even better... HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my aunt Shelley you have filled my life with adventure with laughter with cocktails with smiles with "just like Granny" hugs and above all love. Here's to the ride of life...and may that ride finds us causing trouble together soon...of course with a drink in one hand ok both hands and smiles on our face *my favorite part about my new job paid vacations so this planning will become a reality* Here's to you...i bare the name Chellie and esp aunt chellie with pride and joy to be told Michelle your just like your aunt Shelley well to me it just doesn't get better than that...thanks for always teachingby example what it means to be a GOLDWOMAN.... hope you are spoiling yourself not just today but always.

CANCER

Its a word that carries more meaning that you will never know until it is a word that becomes a part of your life. CANCER to me was just a word once something that happened to my favorite teacher my best friend's grandma my mom's friend...you try to relate. you try to imagine but in the end you fall short in grasping what such a word means. Its a word that was never spoken in my family about one of my family members. You hear of name after name after name of those you have cancer who are battling cnacer who have lost their lives to cancer. But it all changes when suddenly that name is your mom's. When that person who Cancer claims as their home in their body is the person who carried you for 9 months who gave you life who held you gave you comfort feed you kissed you hugged you wiped away your tears - that person who your entire life is built around. that person you knows every scar every wound every memory every failure every dream - that person who taught you what was right or wrong - that person who installed everything that makes you - well you today.

As you all know there is nothing like the love for your mother. No better person. She's the glue - the one you can count on - the one thats always there- the one that loves you no matter what. Well my mom is just like that and more. I knew from an early age that my mom was well different....in all the best ways possible...the great ones always are... they have this gift of just seeing the world thru different eyes - they have a way of just living that is rare. Ya you can call me bias but anyone who has spent 5 seconds with my mom knows this to be true...Paula Goldmann she's one of the great ones.

So when we were told almost two years ago that she had stage four breast cancer it was a blow to the core of the Goldmann family. The woman who held us all together who brings us all together was now to battle this monster we call cancer. I remember that moment being told in that moment and how it felt like the air was sucked right out - not being able to breath - tears rolling - fear setting in. Standing next to my brothers who until up to that time I had only seen cry once. But there was our mom putting her arms around us wrapping us in her love and saying with a smile on her face "i am going to be just fine." In true Paula fashion she picked up the pieces and carried on. Cancer changed our lives forever that day.... but it was my mom that truly changed our lives all for the better that day. Even thru this whole battle she has still kept us together. She is still the glue. She is the strongest woman I have ever met. She carries herself with grace strength faith and hope. Facing this cancer head on each and every time. Never giving up never saying why me. Never throwing herself a pity party. Never seeing this journey as a set back.... She is teaching my brothers and I the true meaning of such words as fighting. strength. hope. faith. LIVING...with each step that she takes. Its a honor to walk with her thru this journey it truly is.

The funny thing about CANCER is that once its in your life its a word that will never leave your life. Even when things are going great you find yourself  walking on glass wondering if the crack that formed that you have tried to glue and strength will hold - just how long will it last??? Cancer is a devil like that....but then I remember the lessons my mom has taught and lived by....you just have to enjoy the ride no matter where it takes you and when it ends. When I see cancer as my mom does life seems a bit easier to take on...knowing that she is a trooper and she will fight until the very last breath she takes makes me realize if she is willing to give every ounce of her being to fight to simply live then I can give every ounce of my being as well. We all are in the same boat....we get to live this life just once....and one day we will wake up to our last breath....and when that day comes what will your life say about you??? I know my mom is no where near of taking her last breath but i do know with each breath she takes she's making it count. And its a constant reminder to make mine count as well.....THANK YOU MOM...for always guiding for always setting the example not by the words you speak but by the life you live. I am beyond blessed to call you my mom. And THANK YOU for fighting each and everyday for US. WE LOVE YOU.

Paradise found on a Mountain Top...

The weather was just right - not too warm not too cold the sky was overcasted as we prepare for a snow system to make its way to hopefully fingers cross dump heaps of the fuffy white stuff. With family in town we got the gear on to hit the slopes for a fun day of skiing. I was pretty exciting to wear my new thermal under armor gear from my very kind parents and I am still breaking in a new ski jacket - i feel kind of like a rockstar I am not gonna lie and a tad bit spoiled. There's just something about this place - WHITEFISH it just seems a bit magical here. Life just seems so simple here so at ease. Things just come together and you seem to always see the big picture. I have come to realize that my soul can just breath here I can just be. The smiles seem to be bigger the laughs seem to be louder. For its in the stillness of the view around you and having crisp pure air fill your lungs that reminds you - you are truly in PARADISE. I knew from the moment I arrived here that I was home....And it brings me much joy knowing that my friends and family find this place just as magical and they see it as a winter paradise in much of the same way that I do. It is just a joy to share this place this place that my soul calls home with the people I love the mose in this world. Its the best gift I can think of to have people come here and recharge their souls to have time to see life thru simple eyes. Because life is truly just different here. Whitefish...my winter paradise that I have fallen madly and utterly in love with... its good to be home - who would have thought I would have found paradise on a mountain top.

Merry Christmas from the mountains of Whitefish Montana. I hope this holiday season brings you much love joy and happiness.May you find the blessings in the simple things in life and be grateful for those everyday things and people in your life. I know that my family will all be gathering today eating too much drinking too much and laughing well never too much...To me the true meaning of Christmas is just being with those you love and care about... Its about family love and giving - whether its giving of a gift or just of your time and love...over my 30 years I have been blessed to live a life that is surrounded by family and what a joy it is to have so much fun with the crazy people I call my family. They are loud - its mostly chaos but man am I grateful. Knowing that somewhere more than one or two I know are having their first christmas of the passing of someone they love and many are having their 5th 10th 25th christmas without their dad their wife their child...we sometimes get caught up with the excitement of the season that we often forget about the true meaning on christmas. Not that we take for granted that these people will always be in our life because well we can't walk around thinking in that matter but life can change in a heartbeat in the blink of an eye...So I am utterly grateful and beyond blessed to have had some many christmases so many everyday life moments with family and friends. My life has been filled with smiles laughter joy and love- those I love have colored my world and have impacted my life in ways that I will never be able to explain or describe. I have been changed all for the better I am simply more because of these people....how did I get lucky enough to be able to live such a life - to have such a life - to have such people that I will never know. And I am glad I will never have to live such a life without.... So this holiday season I hope you take time to stop and see such blessings in your life... MERRY CHRISTMAS

Life is Good

I have never been one who has be ungrateful for the things she has the place I live or the people that are in my life. So when I moved to Whitefish some 5 going on 6 years ago I knew that I would likely be giving up spending and celebrating the holidays with my family. For those of you who don't know me I come for a huge extended family on my Mom's side and a family that is growing and growing on my Dad's side and the holidays are a time we all get together and have family time - a time that I truly cherish and is best part of Christmas if you ask me. Over the years of missing out on these family gatherings I always found comfort knowing that somewhere they were all gathering somewhere the traditions that I know that make a Koch or Goldmann Christmas-Holiday gathering were taking place. Even as I was hundreds of miles away I found happiness because they were together. But this Christmas I got a piece of that family christmas again. My cousins Travis Jill Sabrina Sadey Sharlotte and Luke came to Whitefish... and I have realized something major last night that I have been focusing so much on the glass half full when it came to missing out on the holidays that I truly forgot how great it was to spend the holidays with family....just how much I have missed it. My christmas gift this year came in the form of my family(part of it any ways) being with me to share in everything that is Christmas.

Too add to that joy it was a christmas with kids - which always makes the holidays more magical. Sharlotte who is 2 the day was spent learning on to ski with her Moo How (her godmother who happens to be me)...after we went down the bunny hill a couple of times she had a enough on Moo How's Mountain and wanted a chip break...so chips it was just her and me...While eating chips I asked Shar what did you ask from Santa? She replied... a piece of gum....later that night we attended the mountain's santa parade that ended in Santa handing out gifts to the kids by calling out their name...you can imagine how exciting it is to get a gift from Santa on Christmas Eve....well the Koch's were called and Shar and her siblings got their gifts...we left Shar open the gift right there and man oh man her facial expression was something when she oped up that gift and found gum...."OH MY GOSH GUM!!" Santa brought her just what she wanted. Later that night a gift bigger then her was given from her Moo How - she opened it up and that was it....her attention  was focused only on playing with her zoo refusing to open up the mound of gift that awaited for her and even missing out on eating christmas dinner because she just was having so much fun. Lots of laughs and smiles were had while we took in christmas eve together. Luke the almost one year old was so thrilled to have boy toys no more playing with girlie toys that were once his sisters...oh course Shar had to play with and when I say play with I mean steal his dump truck but we fixed that issue by giving her  my gift to open. We topped the night off by watching Its a Wonderful Life. Oh and it snowed on the mountain so it truly was a white and merry christmas.

As the night ended with everyone gathered at my place tucked up in the mountains I couldn't help but smile part of my family gave up the traditiona family christmas we are so use to having to spend it in whitefish with me...I realize the gift that just is and was to them to give to me. And how grateful I am to have them here.I am not sure what I ever did to be blessed to have such people in my life and to call those people family. So my place is an utter mess stuff everwhere its loud its noise clothes tossed everywhere a kid crying someone yelling something getting spilled one too many on the couch food on all the countertops toilet paper constantly having to be put on the roll a line for the bathroom and yet its the happiest I have ever been to have FAMILY with me for the Holidays....I am so grateful for the mess it means they are here. I know the blessing it is to have such family and I know what its like to spend years without family on Christmas...so I can only hope the mess gets bigger and bigger and more fun is had more laughs are shared more memories are created....LIFE is GOOD.

PRAY FOR SNOW

The stockings are hung CHECK the garland up CHECK the ornements on the tree CHECK christmas tunes playing softly in the back ground CHECK home smelling of pine and spice CHECK watching tv be with only christmas lights on CHECK...walking in a winter wonderland with snow all around....um.... uncheck....OK whats up Santa... did you give Jack Frost the winter off?? Because up here on the mountains we barely have the white stuff... and well I am not liking it.....so if you could please full fill this wish by this week so i can CHECK this off the list and be ready for Christmas that would be great. .... DeAr sANta pleez mAke it nsow....Love little shelley...  ps...if you dont NO COOKIes for you!! pps i even wrote it like i was five in hopes it comes true

Thankful in November

23rd - for my mom's fighting spirit and to simply have her here Stage 4 cancer is quite a scary thing to hear and know your mom has but she's a fight and her will to live is quite the life lesson. Thank you Mom for never giving up the fight.

24th - for a family to be a part of and being able to gather with that family for Thanksgiving. To have people to share this holiday with as well as for the family that isn't here in person today.

25th - I am thankful for employment that allows and supports my photography business so I can actually make money and not go into extreme debt doing the thing I love most.

26th - for my life's journey to lead me to Whitefish Mt, what an amazing place that little skiing town is. To have paradise right out my door to be living breathing and having fun in God's country is quite the blessing. People all over the world come to Whitefish and fall in love with the Last Great Place and I am one of the lucky to call this HOME.

27th - for the life that I have I know so many go without so many not having enough its a life that I have never known but I know is out there. People who are jobless homeless foodless. I have never known what it takes to live such a life and the things you have to do to simply live and stay alive during such trying times.

28th -  during this uncertain time I am thankful for employment to have a paycheck.

29th - to simply love to recieve love and to give of that love...loving someone truly loving them is quite the thing to be thankful for. it truly is!

30th - to have such a life that I do. To have it filled with people that bring laughter smiles memories faith hope strength support joy and love into my life whether these people are always by my side hardly by my side or its been years since they have been by my side.  Thankful in November has come to an end but I have come to realize its an eye opener if you find reasons everyday 365 days out of the years to be thankful....because I believe its a thankful life that leads to be a happy life.