We must never forget that we are ENOUGH. Who we are right now in this moment from day to day is enough. We simply must only have to be ourselves - the best we possibly can be. Sometimes that means we fall short sometimes it means we fail - we make mistakes but it doesn't mean we are less. We are only be challenged to learn to grow and to become more from our mishaps stumbles and failures. But I am enough all I need to do is be me. What fails me is when I am not fully that person - thats when the mistakes happen and the falls take place. Today I vow to myself I AM ENOUGH.
Thats the great thing about life - its always changing which means as a person we must be changing as well. We can't stay the same - we are exposed to things places and people daily that encourage us to learn to grow and to become. Knowing ones self and changing is a natural process - staying the same is not in my books. Ways of thinking thought process values must be tested because maybe we are doing it all wrong maybe we have it all wrong maybe we must change to better not only ourselves but those around us. I think of the women's right movement - the civil rights moment and now the equality movement and well I can't image life staying the same and not evolving to allow such basic human rights to everyone. So when I read such quotes as now I say goodbye to the old me...I look to embrace a better me I looking forward to growing and becoming someone MORE. and I can only hope that many many many say goodbye to the old as well. The world is changing - life is all about change and we must change with it as well. And let me be clear such change doesn't me breaking your soul or who you are but it does mean growing in a positive direction for the soul of who you are.
Patience is something I lack when it comes to myself. I have all the patience in the world when it comes to most situations and people fail at giving myself the same treatment. Far beyond normal understanding but fall short at extending such understanding to myself. I am unsure if I just set myself to a high standard - just extremely hard on myself or stubborn. Maybe its a bit of it all plus more. Or maybe I just don't like being in that sort of place and try everything I can to escape that feeling of being down - I want to get rid of it as fast as I can - but I realize that I don't in fact control the speed at which I need for true healing. I wish it only took a day in fact a day is even too long I wish it only took a hand full of minutes maybe even seconds. And most often when I am going thru emotions that are just a bit too real for me to deal with I often find myself wishing I was dead inside or telling the tin man on the wizard of oz he actually has a good thing going...I am always searching for the humor I guess if you can fly high on life you have to be ready to go crashing into the rocks. My crash landings are anything but graceful and never lack the holy crap how am I going to recover from this. But slowly I do find a way. I once fell so hard on my face that I shouldn't have jumped right up - in fact the jumping up part might have made it worse maybe life is like that too when we get up too soon its actually not good for us - because we aren't ready simple as that. And taking my time is something I should value and realize its simply ok there is no rush in healing if I want the healing to be done in a matter that is lasting and fit to my being.
It is true it doesn't matter how long it takes us to rise what matters is that we rise and on top of that how we rise. Have we learned and grown from the fall or will another fall need to take place in order for us to truly learn. I would like to think that I learn and remember something from each stumble and fall that will better me with understanding knowledge and growth. Falling well sucks but sometimes its what it takes for us to learn grow and become.
This is my new goal. To flip the way I look at things. To challenge myself to see life differently and to allow myself to be exposed to all walks of life and all ways of living. To live - learn - feel and think outside of my comfort zone. To find knowledge understand growth in what surrounds me and to take such things and be more for witnessing them. I am challenging myself to not only live outside of the box but to color outside the lines as well. I don't want the same - I don't want normal - I don't want easy or safe. I want to push this life to its limits break thru the glass ceiling and to walk on the very edge. And I fully believe it all starts by simply looking at things differently.
The power for us to change who we are or who we are thought to be always lies with one's self. At any moment you can change. And the best part is the fact an opinion doesn't have to be a reality unless we -ourselves allow it to be.
My question is at what point do we know we are chasing the wrong things - at what point do we give in and stop? Maybe I am just too understanding or maybe just dumb and I don't know the difference. But it would make sense if I am always chasing the wrong things it explains why the right ones can't catch or ever find me.
Truly knowing someone well it takes a pretty special person that will still see you after you expose all of yourself to that person - the good the bad and the ugly. What a gift another can give you is when they still after it all just sees you. My soul my being is complex yet simple deep in meaning and understanding but yet holds easy humor and a laid back matter. I am unsure if I have ever truly exposed all of myself to someone before - thus far the only person that has seen it all and knows all parts of me is well myself.I know I have a mixed up soul but in a good way - and there will hopefully come a day where I will have that person in my life to expose all of who I am to them and they will fully without a doubt accept me for me just as I am.
The trouble is that sometimes you find yourself wanting to be apart of someone else's life and they don't want you to be. When all you have ever truly wanted was for that person to know the greatness they have in them and all you want is for them to be happy - and you find yourself doing everything you possibly can to make things better for them and one day you realize its actually very much possible for them to obtain such things but its a direct result if you aren't part of the process or their life. Ya that kind of takes a blow to the gut. But knowing they are happy or can be happy is still worth that blow. Its hard fact to face that you aren't wanted to have a role in their journey - and its hard to accept but they have the right in the end to choose. I know my life is less knowing that such people aren't apart of my life/journey anymore people I so badly wanted to share in this life with and my soul mourns for their absent - but i am learning to send out my well wishes for them in hopes they hear it and it finds them well and finding the happiness they so long for.
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