This is my new goal. I want to be awaken by new surroundings new people and new ways of living. I want to experience life differently and see what is out there. This world is so massive and I must do a better job at expolring as much of it as I possibly can. So I am taking the Dalai Lama challenge and exploring a place I have never been before locally I am challenging myself once a month if not more - nationally I am challenging myself once a year and globally once every year or two years. Much needs to be seen and taken in - much growth that can be found in doing such.
This would be the story of my life - when I do have problems or worries they are much like a pimp that I just have to pop or a wound on my arm that I just have to pick and pick at. I realize full well that i am my own worst enemy in such situations. I need to do a better job at resting my mind and controlling my mind in a positive way.
I have a hard time fully accepting this from time to time esp when it involves certain people - but I am learning. I am learning to hold my tongue and control my thoughts and emotions. I am learning that I don't need to have the last word nor do I need to hurt with words just because thats what has been done to me - i am learning that I can't control nor fix everything or everyone - i have no control over anyone but myself. I am learning to take deep breaths and to walk away with hope maybe with time it will work itself out. I am learning. I am learning.
I feel some what ashamed when I read and think of this quote - because the truth is I prolly have missed out on some pretty amazing people becuase i never took the time or I judged before I knew. I never gave them a chance. With time and over the years this has changed - and I hope i only conitune to grow in the direction of truly seen those that surround me.
My goal is see beyond what lies in front of me. I strive to read between the lines and take a closer look because I know I am mising out on so much because I just focus on whats easiest to see. I want to take in nature - places - and people in a way that is more where i can see more of its core and not just its appearance. I want to take my time with getting to know such things places and people and truly knowing them - hearing their stories and allowing their stories to influence my being in return.
I have found it to be a very fine line between the two where its a battle of not really sure of which is harder. They say time is a healer - sometimes it takes alot of time to let it work its process. I hate that process where we still feel the wound or the massive hole that was left that we try to repair and carry on as if we are whole when we clearly are not. The effects that one human life has on another is profound the joy they can bring as well as the hurt they can bring is something else. Loss can come in all different forms - and can forever leave an imprint on not just your heart but your life. But even I know as hard as letting go is - holding on isn't the answer either and thats a hard truth to face. Wouldn't it be nice to never know such things that require us to suffer or miss someone. But then again there is an order to life and one must have it all the good and the bad to truly experience it.
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