Life would be great if we had access to a time machine to go back in time and fix our mistakes or better yet just have a do over. But the truth is if we did everything perfect if we never made a single mistake or find ourselves wishing we would have do this instead of that - well we would be missing out on something even more important than getting it right - we would be missing out on the learning and growing part of life that results in us becoming. Thou we can't go back and fix things we can learn from the past and take that knowledge and growth and apply it to shaping a better today or a better future. Thats the great thing about the future its still in the making it hasn't happened yet so we have this great opportunity to do what we want with it. So ya the past may not be the prettiest thing to reflect back upon but thats ok its the view you are creating in front of you that truly matters.
I know of people that have never left their home state - i know many that have never left their home country and even a few that have never left their home city. I look at this world that we live in - its huge - its massive filled with all sorts of places and people and well I think its a waste when people don't take the chance to explore and discover this world. And when I say explore and discover I don't mean you have to go on some big trip or some place half way across the world - but i do firmly believe that each one of us must live outside our comfort zone - so someplace new and expose ourselves to a different way of life. If we only stay in the same place well - i think we are meant for more.
My grandmother is a tough stubborn German lady - she was always all business she had things that needed to be done and tasks that required her attention. She was always cooking cleaning baking sewing. There was no joking around with her - if you were helping you were helping simple as that. She wasn't what I called the most loving grandma until one day I was old enough to understand her. This woman who I thought was made of steel was not in any way made of metal. Her way of being was a direct result of life handing her cards she really just didn't want to hold and her only way of dealing with them was to focus her drive on things she knew how to do without question. I remember when I was 7 or 8 I walked past her bedroom door and heard her talking - I stopped and realized she was praying and crying in privacy. It was then I realized her determination to carry on - to apply her stubborn hard headed German ways to life but deep down she was gentle soft it was the hard coated layer I only noticed her as. I have learned from her you just never know what a person is battling or what their life is like. After that day I had a new respect and admiration for my grandmother and as a result of that my relationship with her deepened and grew. She was still stubborn and tough but I also knew she prayed for me every chance she got and loved me. Each of us has a life story some of us wear it right on our sleeves others wear it differently - the point is don't judge til you know their story.
We have all been there - when we are on the start of something new - that time where you reflect back upon your life prior to this new start and time what was I thinking!?!? My life was way easier my life was way better then. The truth is new beginnings usually bring chaos - the unknown and all things new. Its the best worst feeling one can have. I have a strange obession with that sick to my stomach sort of feeling that comes when you are starting something new. Mainly because I know I living outside my comfort zone and am learning a new way or exposed to a different life. I am unsure of the process why it has to be hard before its easy but thats just how it goes. And once you truly know this you can breath a bit more easier. The first miles are always the hardest when you are running. The first day is always the toughest when you are starting something new. Allow yourself time to adjust and have confidence that you will get the hang of it. Before you know it this new beginning will be your new comfort zone and soon you will have to challenge yourself once again to step outside of it.
Why is starting something new always a result of challenging goodbye or end? My only clue to why this is is because we are leaving our comfort zone - we are stepping outside and taking a leap of faith without having a clue on how it will turn out. What we forget often is that our lives is a process of repeating such steps. Years filled with taking leaps of faith...whether we are in high school in college in the real world its always happening - we go to school we graduate we find jobs we move we find new places to explore new places to live we leave jobs for other jobs we are beings of change our lives are deeply connected to change yet its the very thing we all fight. New beginnings are change in its toughest form yet its also in its best form. They go hand in hand. Where we find ourselves fighting to hang out and fighting to let go.
Isn't amazing when we look back at the things that truly transformed us - shaped us are often the events places and people we so badly wanted to change - to make it work in our favor...but they never moved to our liking ended up making us be the ones that are transformed and shaped. Life is a crazy ride...a crazy ride that we only realize from looking back what truly forms our lives - what moments provide the growth we need to become and what it took for us to be well us.
Its amazing how some will judge you just based on how you live your life. What many fail to understand and realize is that we all have our faults our failures our sorrow our challenges our loss our heart ache our pain our tear our hurt...the only difference is how we handle such things. The attitude you bring to the table of life makes all the difference in the world.
If there is one thing I know for sure the very best people are the ones that are a little crazy a little wild a little strange a little random a little different a little in a world all of their own. I welcome these people into my life - for I truly believe they know a secret about life and living it. my advice find as many of these people as you can and keep them forever.
If there was an off switch to my mind I would love to know where it is. I realize it something you need to work at - controlling your thoughts. Having the power over your mind. Its something I am trying to work at but wow what a struggle it is sometimes. I know in my heart that my soul knows what to do what it needs and wants. I know sometimes my heart may not agree with it and then there are other times where my heart and soul are on one page and my mind on another and then worse when all three are on different pages. But its true the soul will find a way but often the one that comes in the way is your mind. Learning to shut it off or control it well there is the goal to work at.
You know what - I couldn't agree more. I have come the point of being utterly ok with this - I have been for some time - if it happens it happens. But I have come to know that me being my one and only is something I am completely at ease with. I don't feel like I am missing someone or something in my life - I am enjoying this time with myself - doing things for myself - learning things about myself as well as about this life that I come to know that I can do just as much alone that I can with another. I am no longer waiting for that person - if they come great if they don't their lost. I am here to live - explore - discover - grow - learn and become - my life is not less because I am doing it on my own. Its just as full and filling - maybe there will be a day that i will share this life with someone but the truth is my soul is at peace with just being with me. And if you ask me - i think thats pretty darn cool. I think if I were to brag that is a pretty great trait to have to be okay with just being you alone.
Well...this would explain alot if this is true.
I believe we all need a place where we can close the door and be at home - where we can retreat and the rush worries and stresses of life can't follow. A place where we can just relax and rest. I have always been highly into collecting things thru this journey of life to keep in such a home and when I am at my home I am simply at ease and happy to just be there. Surrouned my life's treasures feeling safe and at peace. Each of us needs such a place to unwind from the day and close our eyes and rest.
What I have noticed is that so many are in a rush to be somewhere...I often wonder where that somewhere is...what's so important about that somewhere that people focus so much on getting there they forget about where they are right now in this moment. What's the rush ... the somwhere isn't going anywhere. It will be there - and well sooner or later so will you. SLOW DOWN...Stop stressing...I am certain if you are meant to be at that somewhere place you will one day find yourself there.
I am starting to think this is my warrior song. My theme to my life. Just maybe my happily ever after is just me. And you know what I think its a pretty darn cool amazing person to spend my life with. I think She is someone i will never feel alone with and someone that I know who will always create her own happiness and find her bliss in this life. Being on my own brings me much liberation knowing fully its me who completes me.
I am unsure why some people must test us - why they bring us right to the very edge of our limits... Is it to annoy us? Is it to test us? Is it to force us to change in some way? I am willing to put up with quite a lot but even I know I have my limits granted it takes me awhile to get to them - my advice just don't try to test them or push them. I truly think its the worse thing you can do is take advantage of someone who is purely being nice for the sake of just being kind. Remember your actions and words do affect another - a nice person can be changed after people mistreating them after so long - help change people for the better not the worse.
No comments:
Post a Comment