QUOTE CHAT : 20

I am unsure how some people fail to be able to link such behavior of how they are treating others and the fact that sooner or later people will not settle to be treated in the same matter. I have been there where people in my life have treated me well terribly - I often just allow them to which I realize is my fault completely. But its funny when you well give it right back to them their reactions. It utterly blows my mind that its ok for them to treat you in such a way or talk to you in such a way but the minute the shoe is on the other foot its a different story. I try to understand such people I truly do but often times I fall short in the knowledge of why. I will never understand why its easier for some to just be crappy yet not take crap from others. I guess in the end I can only account for myself - my words my thoughts my actions. As for others I am learning to let go of those people from my life.

After reflecting I have come to realize that the things that were the very hardest to get thru and let go of are the very things that I fought like made  or still fight like mad to hold onto. Letting go sucks - simple as that. Its in no shape or form easy. It requires constant work and attention - OR in my case constant distractions. There are days you find yourself thinking you will never find the day where you will me healed or completely ok with how things simple are. Yet I know life has a plan and a reason and sometimes its the hardest lessons of letting go we find growth - growth i would rather not find or have but in the end growth i am in need of. I don't think we ever truly recover from certain losses we simply just learn to live a new normal - we learn to live with the wounds and with time smooth the jagged edges of those wounds. But the whole process of letting go - well I have claws I know - i am learning and working on freeing myself of those claws - what a task.

I am starting to realize its the most normal thing humans do - compare.  Why we base things off what we think others have i will never know. Mainly because sometime ago I stopped comparing myself to others - i never saw the point. Life isn't always the picture we see when comparing ourselves to another. We are almost looking at a photo with blinders on - I do find it completely ok to let another's life inspire you or encourage you to seek and create such things in your life. But I do know if you are constantly comparing your life to another you will be robbed of happiness and the worse part is YOU are the robber.

Its thru life's storms we count our blessings when we find days filled with sunshine. I am unsure why it takes the bad to fully be grateful for the good - but it does. Some of the greatest people I know I have been thru some of life's coldest darkest and biggest of storms yet the clouds parted and they remained and whats even better after the dust settled they were even greater. There is something to be said about facing the storms of life and allowing your life's experiences to better this world and yourself. You have a choice you can be cold because of what happen to you or what you have been dealt or you can be transformed into more.

Doesn't it blow the big one when you realize someone doesn't need you. Someone can live their life without you. Someone can replace you. Someone can erase you from their life. Someone can forget you are even here. Ya those truths can sting an ever lasting sting. Its a real easy way to link your self worth to that someone's actions. Its hard to see pass that. We can find ourselves just waiting for that someone to change their minds - to walk about into our lives - to hear a doorbell and open the door and find that someone there. Well at least for me I am never that lucky. So we learn to step up and be more. To realize that hey I don't need that someone either. I can be my own hero in this life. 

I am 100% sure that I have a deep connection with nature. Its where I retreat when I need to figure things out. Its where I find peace and ease with not just life's stress but within myself. Its my calming source that never fails me. And best of all its once I merge from nature do i see things more clearly and have a better understanding what to do and what I am capable of doing. Nature has never failed in refreshing my soul and easing my mind.