Thursday, June 20, 2013

QUOTE CHAT: Two

Just read that again and think about it and apply it to your life. Its time to strip life back to its true core and get in touch with the basic fundamentals of life. You ever get the feeling that there is just too much fog that is blurring our vision from truly seeing life.
I often think about how many people just struggle trying to cover up who they truly are or changing to fit in. When all they truly should ever have to be is simply themselves. I recall of a time where someone once told me they never felt like they could be their real self around me. I was shocked and left feeling ashamed that they first felt like that - that i wouldn't accept them for who they truly are. I was shocked because after knowing this person forever and ever i couldnt' quite comprehend that after everything they still didn't feel like they were enough by simply being themselves - when all I ever wanted was for them to be simply who they truly were. It got me thinking am I judging without realizing? Am I not accepting as I believe I am to be? Is it something that I should in my reactions - my facial expressions or a look I give. Because I know I have never uttered even close to a word to imply that they must be a certain what in order for me to accept them. I have strived from that point on to go above and beyond accpeting people for who they are. I never again want to be linked to a person that is ever even thougth of as someone who isn't accepting. I still feel terrible that I played such a role in someone's life without even realizing I did - regardless its not someone I ever want to be or be known as.  I will always say that being you is enough is more than enough. And I believe you should have the courage of being that person no matter what - people will embrace you and will value you for you being you. I hate being put in a box - I hate when people place me somewhere and think I will fit and then I don't. I hate that feeling of being not enough because I don't fit perfectly or don't do exactly what they want me to do just the want they want me to do it. There are so many people in this world and there is just one you. just one me. How about we simply be them. Those two you and me well they are pretty amazing people and I think more people would be encouraged not only to be themselves if we were but better yet they would inspire to accept people for who they thruly are.
I will admit I struggle greatly with this. So greatly that I go to the point of causing harm because of the fact I can't walk away. My frame of mind is no one is a lost cause. Sometimes people need a second chance or a third or a 20th chance. Sometimes they need structure - they need love - they need guidence. I struggle when is that fine line drawn where you try again or when you walk away. I hate failing especially when I fail people. I hate letting people down esp people I truly care for. I realize thou that sometimes no matter how hard I try I can't do it all for them. They have to be willing to come at least half ways. I still struggle. I prolli always will when it comes to such times.
Sometimes I get so restless - I get filled with intense aniexty to the point of being overwhlemed - because I will get to thinking what are you doing. What are you waiting for. What is the point in what you are doing. So many people have the thought of you have all this time to do to live to explore to travel to do this to do that. But the truth is... you truly do not. Time is such a precious gift that so many of us take advantage of and its only when we are faced with the scary fact of losing it do we truly realize. Why must it be like that - why does it take losing something to finally realize its true meaning and value. I hate waiting - I am terrible at it waiting to buy something - waiting to surprise someone with a gift or a secret - waiting to start - waiting at the doctors office - waiting its terribly hard for me especially waiting to embrace and explore this life.
There are people who believe they are on a journey to find happiness. As if it could ever be found - I have always felt it is something that must be created. The only holder - maker and keeper is one's self. I do feel for those who are off searching for it when all they simply have to do is turn inward and get to truly known one's self. Happiness can't be found just in the places that bring excitement or awaken your senses - it can't be wrapped up and held onto forever like some thing you get for christmas or a birthday. It can't be purchased or linked to someone else's existence. You can't read about it and think what you read in some book will lead you to yours - granted it may help you on the right track. The thing is happiness is a realationship and a reflection of one's self. Its all based on how you embrace life. Happiness is different for everyone - some are only happy when they are at some destintation - Spain, Florida, the beach, the mountain, the lake, the track. Some are happy thru other's seeing them smile hearing them laugh. Some are happy when its quiet. Some are happy when they have a great meal or a great day shopping. There are all forms for all different kinds of people BUT if you were to ask me...the true form of happiness the one that all are seeking for without even realizing it - it the kind of happiness that is form in the rarest form of the word. The best I can even come close to describing it is the happiness that a baby shows - the baby has no means or reasons of being happy the baby just simply is. To find such happiness with one's self no matter where that one is to me that is the true form of happiness. And the one way to have such happiness is to know truly know one's self and realize that you and only you have to power to not find your happiness but better yet create it.

No comments: