Back in the day

As I was teaching at WHS today I was reminded of my days back in high school and the kind of person I was and such.

Looking back I ran with the popular crowd yet how I was accepted by them is beyond me. I can count on my hands the amount of times I went to parties all thru high school. I wasn't one you saw out and about on friday and saturday nights...if there was a football or basketball game I attended...and fully watched and went home. I spent most of my time with my family and janelle and jami. My summers were spent coaching little league softball. I was the one that usually ate lunch on school grounds and spent that time talking to pretty much anyone and everyone.

My friends would often get upset with me because I was always inviting someone to join us or our table for lunch or I would simply ditch them and go sit with the kid that sat alone. To this very day I find myself still doing this. I would spend my time not just getting to know people in my grade or grades above me but also the underclassmen.

When I was a senior I was prolli the only senior to befriend freshman and include them and not treat them like crap. Some of my friends didn't agree with this but I didn't care. I just didn't see the point of treating someone like that just because I could and just because that's what upper classmen are suppose to do to underclassmen. I wasn't one who ever backtalked to the teachers. And I hardly ever got in trouble. When it came to sports and coaches I was the player always doin what I was told or asked to do and did it as hard and as best as I could. I tried the best I could to stay loyal to my coaches and get my teammates to play their way..this was very challenging for me to do at times. I wasn't perfect trust mr many nights I took whatever anger I migh have had or how much I may disagree with things out on my parents...and they did the best thing for me...they sided with my coach or my teacher...which at times torked me off but I am so glad they took this approach...this helped me find a huge piece of myself and helped me grow into the coach and teacher I am today because of that.

So even in high school I didn't fit into a box of being popular...but yet somehow I was still looked as that...mainly because I knew so many people but more importantly I took the time to know everyone I possible could in my high school...as best as I could I tried to have a convo with each person that walked the halls even if that was for ten seconds or to ask them if they wanted a piece of gum.

In the end I don't want to be remembered as someone who was popular or someone who was highly active and good at sports. I don't want to be remembered as paula and marks daughter or paul and jacorians sister...I simply want to be known as someone who took the time to make someone feel special. I want to be remembered as that winterfest queen who spent some of her lunches listening to a table of guys talk about wizards dragons and so much more even thou she had no idea at times what they were talking about or really didn't have anything to say in return...but they still included me in their convo. I want to be remembered at someone who treated everyone as an equal. Someone who didn't judge but just accepted. Someone who saw the greatness in people that so many didn't see or take the time to know. I made my share of mistakes in high school but I feel they were the right mistakes to make looking back because those mistakes resulted in the lessons I needed to learn.

The entire high school staff truly knew me...granted they might have known my name because of my mother brother and last name but I am for certain that it was the real me they got to know and it was that person they based their thoughts of me off...I wasn't given special treatment just because if anything I had a higher standard to reach and prove myself.

I am truly grateful for all those adults...from the cooks who always had a dish cloth for me on game days so I wouldn't get my dress clothes dirty-who saved me the corner pieces on pizza day...the janitors that memorized my locker combo (both school and sports locker) because they knew I always forgot it. The aides who always chatted with me in the mornings. All the teachers who pushed me and challenged me to give my best and then reach beyond that. I don't remember every lesson or everday in their classrooms but I remember them their class their role in my life. Mrs Hoff who entrusted me with the school camera and allowed me to spend endless hours in the darkroom...because of you I found one of my life's passion...my thoughts are with you during your battle with cancer. Mr Stuart who challenged me in ways I have yet to even understand in your classroom and in life. You were never an easy teacher. Somewhat of a hardass and we had to earn your respect...my thoughts are with you as well as you battle cancer. So many teachers who not only changed my life but countless other students who walked the halls of BHS as nerds as jocks as rebels as loners as barbies as bookworms as band-choir-drama punks...so so many each all so different who were all touched and changed by you. And just like us you as well made mistakes but learned and grew from them. And maybe just maybe were changed and touched by us.

In many ways I am still that high school girl...still tryin to figure out where she fits...still embracing and befriending as many as I can. Still learning and growing from all who are in my life. Still wanting to make her teachers family and friends proud. I am still here...