Might have been

Who remembers having a love go wrong...a love end...a letting go...a might have been...Do these thoughts ever escape us? Do we ever fully let go? Do we ever move on? Hard to say...but I am willing to say that some things are meant to last...and others aren't...even if we ever so want them to...even when we would give anything for it to work out...for it to last...sometimes love is realizing when to walk away-when to let go...when you realize that someone else is meant to be and its not you. I guess in the end that is the biggest form of love you can give...letting go...allowing someone else to stand where you would have stood...blessing that relationship even if its killing you inside...

Why do I write this...well most don't know when I do or don't have someone in my life...I am a very private person...and I am the kind of person that doesn't speak a work until she is for sure for sure...So this could would and should apply to all those that I have dated...past and present and future...I am utterly and competely someone that will always want more for everyone but herself...even if that means not getting anything in return or being alone...I often wonder if the person I was meant to be with...I let slip away...if I even blessed them away...many are now married with wives, children and houses...many I am still in touch with...still friends with...and there are moments where I wonder...was that suppose to be me?

And then I realize and fully know...NOPE...and I fully believe that soul is still out there...maybe we have met already maybe we are yet to meet...or maybe as hard as it is for me to admit that just might not be in my cards...but that doesn't mean my life will be any lesser...that I assure you...sometimes life has plans for us that are not even close to the plans and dreams we had in mind for ourselves...every once in awhile those plans are way bigger and better than the ones we had in mind for ourselves...well at least thats what keeps me hangin on...trust me when I say I have more than enough people in my life to give of my time and love...and more importantly more love has been given to me than I could ever ask for or dream of...not everyone has that...not all married women have the love of the amazing people that I have in my life...that has to count for something...heck it even should double for something in my books!