My Parents

I am still without a computer therefore I am bloggin thru my pinkberry...sorry for all grammar errors this isn't the best thing to type on or read on...while I am at it I am sorry for those who are awaiting contact from me---i assure you than once I gain control of the geek squad and get my life aka my computer back I will be in touch asap.

I can't imagine the things parents have to go thru...the things they worry about stress about give up or go without...I try to understand but well I have never gave birth I have never nutured and raised a child I have never been in those shoes. But recently I have been thinking a lot about this mostly because of the life situation that I am in right now...a struggling single female. If it weren't for my parents well I would have been long gone a long time ago...and I have found myself feeling so so so guilty. They are always their bailing me out and supporting me...I am prolli hands down the worse kind of child one would ever want and I know I am not the kind of child one would dream for. By this time in my life I figured no I planned to have a life where I could solo fly on my own...and it seems like whenever that moment comes where I think I will FINALLY be out of their hands and hair...a road block comes up...car problems health problems computer problems...ahhhh! I am so blessed and grateful for two parents that never give up on me...and I promise somehow someway I will repay them...I will make it up to them...I am not some spoiled kid who doesn't realize what my parents have given up just so I could do so many things just so I could be safe just so I could have a running car a working computer...my life will come together--and it will be soon! And I will fly solo and I will be able to give back to you! I am not one who promises unless I know for sure I can full fill it... I promise that I will make you proud! I will fly solo and find success. I will find a way to thank you for everything! My parents know better than anyone the person I am...they know that I am different and I hope they believe in that different in the same way I do...it will be just that the way I am different will one day be the reason I find success...one day I and my parents will look back on this journey of ups and downs and it will make complete sense how I got to be where I am at who I am and the success I found. They have never faulted in their faith and love in me or in my brothers. They have given us guidence displine and advice. I know we have messed up made mistakes and disappointed you worried you and stressed you two completely out but you always battled the storms.

I read a story bout how a parent never stops being a parent a child grows becomes an adult and becomes a parent yet the parent still sees that person as their child...whether they be 5 15 25 55 or 65...this is very true BUT my mom and dad will always remain my parents whether I be 28 58 and so on...I will always learn from them. I will always be grateful for everything they do give and bring into my life...as you know I am not normal in fact I don't do normal...well you can bet my parents aren't like all the other parents in this world...they are rockstars. One just doesn't become different alone...my parents raised me to embrace being different..they encouraged me to dream and achieve. They challenged me to set the bar high..higher and higher and go after it...even and esp when I fall. They taught me about endurance and determination. Two things I know will pay off if I stick to it. But more than anything my parents passed on the very best of themselves...in my mom I have her understanding compassion kindness loving and gentle ways. In my father I have his sense of humor drive and focus when I set my mind to something...from the both of their lives together have mixed together to form my view on life...how I am able to be one with nature, how I am able to befriend everyone I meet, how I am able to feel see live with my soul...so much of who I am how I am is because of these two amazing people.

I hope more than anything one day they will be truly proud of me..I hope they can one day say you know Michelle you really tested us pushed us and drove us to the edge oh oh so many times...but now looking back it all makes sense and thou the journey prolli could have been a lot smoother on a different path to get us to right here...but the lessons laid in the journey...life laid in the journey...and above all you were never a normal child so why would you ever be a normal adult...you always did things in your own way your style why would life be any different...and once you end up finally finding your way--it is the only way you would ever take..the only way that makes sense...because it tends to just scream Michelle the entire way...even when we don't agree or even if we question and are unsure about what you are doing or where you are going...we found the faith to trust in you and your journey...one day one day...I promise! Til then I thank you for your love for your support for your faith for your guidence and advice. Thank you for seeing more in me when at times I for sure don't show it or deserve it. I love you two with all that I am and all that I will be!